Before Sunrise & Before Sunset的笔记(12)

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Chloe在海邊 (一步步朝梦想走去，不疾不徐)

CELINE I always feel like a freak because I'm never able to move on like this… (snaps her fingers) People just have an affair or even a relationship, they break up and they forget, they move on like they would have changed brands of cereals. I feel I was never able to really forget anyone I’ve been with, because each person has their own specific qualities, and you can never replace anyo... (更多)

CELINE
I always feel like a freak because I'm never able to move on like this…
(snaps her fingers)
People just have an affair or even a relationship, they break up and they forget, they move on like they would have changed brands of cereals. I feel I was never able to really forget anyone I’ve been with, because each person has their own specific qualities, and you can never replace anyone. What is lost is lost. Each relationship, when it ends, really damages me. I never really recover. That is why I’m very careful with getting involved, because it hurts me too much… or even getting laid – actually, I don’t do that. I will miss of the person the most mundane things. Like I’m obsessed with little things. Maybe I’m crazy. When I was a little girl my mom told me I was always late to school, so one day she followed me to see why I was late. I was looking at… chestnuts falling from the trees and rolling down the sidewalk or ants crossing the road, the way a leaf cast a shadow on a tree trunk – little things. It is the same with people. I see in them little details so specific to each of them that move me, that I miss and will always miss. You can never replace anyone because everyone is made of such beautiful specific details.
CELINE (continued)
You know, like I remember the way your beard had a bit of red in it and the way the sun was making it glow in the morning right before you left. I missed that. Shit, I’m really crazy.
CELINE
You know, I’m happy you are saying that. I mean, I always feel like a freak because I’m never able to move on like this…
(snaps her fingers)
People just have an affair or even a relationship, they break up and they forget, they move on like they would have changed brands of cereals. I feel I was never able to really forget anyone I’ve been with, because each person has their own specific qualities, and you can never replace anyone. What is lost is lost. Each relationship, when it ends, really damages me. I never really recover. That is why I’m very careful with getting involved, because it hurts me too much… or even getting laid – actually, I don’t do that. I will miss of the person the most mundane things. Like I’m obsessed with little things. Maybe I’m crazy. When I was a little girl my mom told me I was always late to school, so one day she followed me to see why I was late. I was looking at… chestnuts falling from the trees and rolling down the sidewalk or ants crossing the road, the way a leaf cast a shadow on a tree trunk – little things. It is the same with people. I see in them little details so specific to each of them that move me, that I miss and will always miss. You can never replace anyone because everyone is made of such beautiful specific details.
CELINE (continued)
You know, like I remember the way your beard had a bit of red in it and the way the sun was making it glow in the morning right before you left. I missed that. Shit, I’m really crazy.
JESSE
Now I know for sure why I wrote that stupid book – so you might actually show up at a reading in Paris and I’d walk over to you and ask, “Hey, where the fuck were you?”
CELINE laughs. (收起)

2011-05-18 14:13:05 回应

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Scene V – Boatride A La Seine

Porcelain (讓我渴睡也可嬉戲)

Jesse: Alright, now I know for sure. You wanna know why I wrote that stupid book? Céline: Why? Jesse: So that you might come to a reading in Paris, and I could walk up to you and ask, "Where the fuck were you?" Céline: (Sits down close to him.) No, you think I'd be here today? Jesse: I'm serious, I think I...I wrote it in a way to try to find you. Céline: OK, that's... I know tha... (更多)

Jesse: Alright, now I know for sure. You wanna know why I wrote that stupid book? Céline: Why? Jesse: So that you might come to a reading in Paris, and I could walk up to you and ask, "Where the fuck were you?" Céline: (Sits down close to him.) No, you think I'd be here today? Jesse: I'm serious, I think I...I wrote it in a way to try to find you. Céline: OK, that's... I know that's not true, but that's sweet of you to say it. Jesse: I think it is true. What do you think the chances were of us ever meeting again? Céline: After that December I'd say almost zero. If we're not real anyway, right? We're just...characters in that old lady's dream. She's on her death bed fantasizing about her youth...so of course we have to meet again! Jesse: Oh, God! (Sighs loudly as he walks to the side of the boat, and looks back at her.) Why weren't you there in Vienna? Céline: (Hesitantly.) I told you why! Jesse: Well, I know why, I just (pounds his fist into his hand twice) I wish you would've been! Our lives might have been so much different! Céline: You think so? Jesse: I actually do... Céline: Maybe not, maybe we would have hated each other, eventually. Jesse: Oh, what, like we hate each other now? Céline: (Follows him to the side of the boat.) You know, maybe we're...we're only good at brief encounters, walking around in European cities, in warm climate! Jesse: Oh, God, why didn't we exchange phone numbers and stuff? Why didn't we do that? Céline: (Puts a finger to her mouth in a sarcastic gesture.) Because we were young and stupid? Jesse: You think we still are? Céline: I guess when you're young...you just believe there'll be many people with whom you'll connect with. Later in life you realize it only happens a few times. Jesse: Yeah, you can screw it up! You know, misconnect... Céline: (Circles from his left to his right.) Well, the past is the past. It was meant to be that way. Jesse: What, you really believe that? That everything is fated? Céline: Well, you know, the world might be less free than we think. Jesse: Yeah? Céline: Yeah, when given this exact circumstances, that's what will happen every time. Two part hydrogen, one part oxygen, you'll get water every time. Jesse: No, no...no, I mean, what if your grandmother had lived a week longer, you know? Or passed away a week earlier, days even, you know. Things might have been different, I believe that! Céline: No, you can't think like that. Jesse: I mean...I know you shouldn't on most things, but...it's just...on this one it seemed like something was off! You know, I mean...in the months leading up to my wedding, OK, I was thinking about you all the time. I mean, even on my way there. I'm in the car, and a buddy of mine is driving me downtown, and I'm staring out the window, and I think I see you - not far from the church, right – folding up an umbrella and walking into a deli on the corner of...13th and Broadway. And I thought I was going crazy, you know? But now I think it probably was you. Céline: (Quietly.) I lived on 11th and Broadway. Jesse: You see?
No more comments...Just TAT (收起)

2012-04-19 15:52:16 回应

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Scene XIX –The Park

Porcelain (讓我渴睡也可嬉戲)

Céline: So often in my life I've been with people and shared beautiful moments like travelling, or staying up all night and watching the sunrise, and I knew those were special moments. But something was always wrong. I wished I’d been with someone else. (They both laugh.) I knew that what I was feeling, exactly what was so important to me, they didn't understand. But I'm happy to be with you. Yo... (更多)

Céline: So often in my life I've been with people and shared beautiful moments like travelling, or staying up all night and watching the sunrise, and I knew those were special moments. But something was always wrong. I wished I’d been with someone else. (They both laugh.) I knew that what I was feeling, exactly what was so important to me, they didn't understand. But I'm happy to be with you. You couldn't possibly know why a night like this is so important to my life right now, but it is...This is a great morning.
前兩天看完某套電影隨手打開了心水的片單，把裏面的片子隨便拉了拉，結果拉到這兩部就放不開手，並且在大半夜突然間頓悟自己奇葩感情觀的形成大概和把這兩部片子看了太多次不無關係。
其實我一直覺得我是個對現實有足夠領悟力的人，不會天真到相信這世界美好的不得了所有一切都天長地久。但對於自己所追求的愛情的樣子，卻理想化到像個十四歲只懂看愛情小說的人一樣理想到不現實。似乎一直尋求的是那種既要理性理解又要感性觸動的對象，而這兩者單獨分開已足夠難得，更遑論還要兼而有之。這種時候大概只能笑笑說隨緣吧。
看到這一段的時候萬分共鳴。記得大概就是一年前，還信誓旦旦地說其實真的不需要找一個人，因為自己的生活已足夠精彩，每天做自己想做的事情時間都不夠用，哪還有閒心去找一個人日日噓寒問暖說些有的沒的。
那時候一個人旅行上癮，總覺得一個人這種自由真是無法超越。但正如Celine所說的，有時候看到一些真正美不勝收的情景，也會發自內心的希望有人可以一起目睹，並且不是anyone，而是someone，someone really matters。就像寒假和朋友一起去到大理，大早上裹著被子看洱海日出，太陽終於升起一刻感動的不得了，但始終有點遺憾。
畢竟它也許可以成為once in a lifetime的經歷，哪怕變作新婚的一晚，臨終貪一眼，至少也有這樣的經歷值得慨歎。
所以其實《自由行》唱的仍是有點道理，無端卻自覺太自由，再也變不出驚喜。
不過講開又講，如果身邊有人卻更覺束手束腳，在他身邊如坐針氈，或尷尬地找話題（which 實在太容易出現在我身上），倒還不如一個人，至少仍擁有自由。
說到底，都是需要真正啱channel的人在一起，旅程又好，生活又罷。不然不如好好享受自由。
這種態度大概就解釋了許多。 (收起)

2012-04-19 09:30:32 回应

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Scene III- Arriving in Vienna

Porcelain (讓我渴睡也可嬉戲)

Jesse: Alright, alright. Think of it like this. Umm-uh, jump ahead, ten, twenty years, okay, and you're married. Only your marriage doesn't have that same energy that it used to have, you know. You start to blame your husband. You start to think about all those guys you've met in your life, and what MIGHT have happened if you'd picked up with one of them, right? (Céline starts laughing a bit.) We... (更多)

Jesse: Alright, alright. Think of it like this. Umm-uh, jump ahead, ten, twenty years, okay, and you're married. Only your marriage doesn't have that same energy that it used to have, you know. You start to blame your husband. You start to think about all those guys you've met in your life, and what MIGHT have happened if you'd picked up with one of them, right? (Céline starts laughing a bit.) Well, I'm one of those guys. (Points at himself.) That's me, you know, so think of this as time travel, from then, to now, uh, to find out what you're missing out on. See, what this really could be is a gigantic favor to both you and your future husband, to find out that you're not missing out on anything. I'm just as big a loser as he is, totally unmotivated, totally boring, and, uh, you made the right choice, and you're really happy. (Motions toward the door with both thumbs, and mouths the words “Come on.”)
　　曾經很認真的試圖買這本書，未果，但足以證明我是一個徹頭徹尾的腦殘粉。電影似乎是看了好多遍的，具體的次數也不太記得清了。後來無意間（或其實是有意）在網上找到了劇本，有心人整理得很細，甚至翻譯了我看了若干遍從來也不知道在說什麼的片頭夫婦的爭吵，而事實證明，那些爭吵果然也不過是雞毛蒜皮的小事兒。
　　這段是第一次看電影的時候就印象很深的地方，後來口語課上辯論To Marry the Person You Love or To Marry the Person Who Loves You的時候還以此作為論據。一旦你心不甘情不願地放棄了什麽，或錯過了什麽，那它必將成為你對一切的解釋與藉口。後來覺得，這一段曾給我“閉上雙眼你最掛念誰，眼睛張開身邊竟是誰”的慨歎，而在後來的Sunset中，Jesse所描述自己的夢境與醒來時妻子似相隔萬里的眼光，竟是跟歌詞表述得一絲不差。
　　但其實說到頭，誰說這不是一種”得不到的從來矜貴“癥候群呢。因為未曾得到過，便可以將一切的美好構想加諸于那個以”如果”開始的段落，而生活里必將經曆的雞毛蒜皮，最終將流於沉默或爭吵，通通不在對於未曾發生卻可能發生的構想里。Jesse爲了騙小姑娘下車所做的“如果”遺憾地沒有成真，而是變成了另一種“如果癥”。一如Sunset里Celine所作的控訴，這一夜似拿走了她一生的浪漫與熱情。那麼“如果”她沒有隨Jesse下車會不會更好，或者“如果”後來他們重遇了又會不會更好？其實這樣的問題根本無從被解答，因為生命不是RPG可以在死後原地滿血復活換一條新路走。你永遠只能走一條路，然後用永無止息的“如果”叩問自己，但也永遠不會有答案。 (收起)

2012-01-30 19:08:03 6回应

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第20页

安♥ (25岁去西班牙, 不实现不改签)

CELINE Yeah, I’d say to my dad I wanted to be a writer and he’d say journalist. I’d say I wanted to have a refuge for stray cats and he’d say veterinarian. I’d say I wanted to be an actress and he’d say TV newscaster. It was this constant conversion of my fanciful ambitions into practical moneymaking ventures. (更多)

CELINE Yeah, I’d say to my dad I wanted to be a writer and he’d say journalist. I’d say I wanted to have a refuge for stray cats and he’d say veterinarian. I’d say I wanted to be an actress and he’d say TV newscaster. It was this constant conversion of my fanciful ambitions into practical moneymaking ventures.
(收起)

2011-11-19 03:02:36 回应

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第18页

安♥ (25岁去西班牙, 不实现不改签)

JESSE谈生活，我觉得很有趣 JESSE That’s the trick. Life is not really about drama. That we all do the same shit and going to some market in Arabia is the same as going to Kmart in Miami. People believe they are missing out, that everyone else has this great and exciting life and they don’t. I mean, we all have to get dressed, feed the kids, get our driver’s license renewed, look up what time... (更多)

JESSE谈生活，我觉得很有趣
JESSE That’s the trick. Life is not really about drama. That we all do the same shit and going to some market in Arabia is the same as going to Kmart in Miami. People believe they are missing out, that everyone else has this great and exciting life and they don’t. I mean, we all have to get dressed, feed the kids, get our driver’s license renewed, look up what time the afternoon matinee stars, lose ourselves in entertainment, lose ourselves in sex, routine, getting a little too drunk, buying a present for someone you don’t like very much----you feel guilty about not liking them, so you spend a little too much money.
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2011-11-19 02:45:33 回应

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第12页

安♥ (25岁去西班牙, 不实现不改签)

CELINE和JESS讨论旅行的意义 CELINE Were you visiting friends, or just going around on your own? JESSE I visited a friend in Madrid for a while, but mostly I’ve just been…(new thought) I got one of those Eurail passes, and you know what’s fascinating about traveling around? You spend all this time trying to reach your destination, you get there, you look around, it’s never exactly what ... (更多)

CELINE和JESS讨论旅行的意义
CELINE Were you visiting friends, or just going around on your own? JESSE I visited a friend in Madrid for a while, but mostly I’ve just been…(new thought) I got one of those Eurail passes, and you know what’s fascinating about traveling around? You spend all this time trying to reach your destination, you get there, you look around, it’s never exactly what you’d hoped, you head off somewhere else, and hope for something better. CELINE It’s like getting ready for a party, getting there, and falling asleep. That’s why when I’m traveling I kind of force myself not to expect anything from anywhere or anyone. And then, whatever happens is a surprise. The most insignificant thing can become an endless subject of interest, no? JESSE That’s what I like about traveling ---- you can sit down, maybe talk to someone interesting, see something beautiful, read a good book, and that’s enough to qualify as a good day. You do that at home and everyone thinks you’re a bum.
(收起)

2011-11-19 01:47:14 回应

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第191页

安♥ (25岁去西班牙, 不实现不改签)

CELINE For me, it's better I don't romanticize things as much anymore. I was suffering so much all the time. I still have lots of dreams, but they are not in regard to my love life. It doesn't make me sad----it is the way it is. JESSE Is that why you are in a relationship with a man that is never around? CELINE Yes, obviously, I can't deal with the everyday life of a relationship. We have... (更多)

CELINE For me, it's better I don't romanticize things as much anymore. I was suffering so much all the time. I still have lots of dreams, but they are not in regard to my love life. It doesn't make me sad----it is the way it is. JESSE Is that why you are in a relationship with a man that is never around? CELINE Yes, obviously, I can't deal with the everyday life of a relationship. We have this exciting time together, and then he leaves and I miss him, but at least I'm not dying inside. When someone is always around me, I'm suffocating.
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2011-10-07 10:39:22 回应

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第92页

安♥ (25岁去西班牙, 不实现不改签)

JESSE Why do we think that relationships are supposed to last forever anyway, and that anything less is a failure? (a beat) But I hate the thought that we're just these ships passing in the night. I think the only time I get depressed is when I feel that life is just this series of momentary connections. I mean, of all the people you've ever know, how many of them are still in your life in any ... (更多)

JESSE Why do we think that relationships are supposed to last forever anyway, and that anything less is a failure? (a beat) But I hate the thought that we're just these ships passing in the night. I think the only time I get depressed is when I feel that life is just this series of momentary connections. I mean, of all the people you've ever know, how many of them are still in your life in any way? What happened to all the people you grew up with?
(收起)

2011-10-02 09:51:59 回应

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第77页

安♥ (25岁去西班牙, 不实现不改签)

JESSE You know what the worst thing about someone breaking up with you is? Remembering how little you really thought about the people you broke up with and realizing that's how little they're thinking about you. You like to think you are both in so much pain, but really they're just relieved you're gone. (更多)

JESSE You know what the worst thing about someone breaking up with you is? Remembering how little you really thought about the people you broke up with and realizing that's how little they're thinking about you. You like to think you are both in so much pain, but really they're just relieved you're gone.
(收起)

2011-10-02 09:37:59 回应

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>Before Sunrise & Before Sunset