The Vagina Monologues

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  第38页

  chris (Mess up Queen)

  MY ANGRY VAGINA* My vagina’s angry. It is. It’s pissed off. My vagina’s furious and it needs to talk. It needs to talk about all this shit. It needs to talk to you. I mean what’s the deal — an army of people out there thinking up ways to torture my poor-ass, gentle, loving vagina. Spending their days constructing psycho products, and nasty ideas to undermine my pussy. Vagina Motherfuck... (更多)

  MY ANGRY VAGINA*

  My vagina’s angry. It is. It’s pissed off. My vagina’s furious and it needs to talk. It needs to talk about all this shit. It needs to talk to you. I mean what’s the deal — an army of people out there thinking up ways to torture my poor-ass, gentle, loving vagina. Spending their days constructing psycho products, and nasty ideas to undermine my pussy. Vagina Motherfuckers. All this shit they’re constantly trying to shove up us, clean us up — stuff us up, make it go away. Well, my vagina’s not going away. It’s pissed off and it’s staying right here. Like tampons —what the hell is that? A wad of dry fucking cotton stuffed up there. Why can’t they find a way to subtly lubricate the tampon? As soon as my vagina sees it, it goes into shock. It says forget it. It closes up. You need to work with the vagina, introduce it to things, prepare the way. That’s what foreplay’s all about. You got to convince my vagina, seduce my vagina, engage my vagina’s trust. You can’t do that with a dry wad of fucking cotton. Stop shoving things up me. Stop shoving and stop cleaning it up. My vagina doesn’t need to be cleaned up. It smells good already. Don’t try to decorate. Don’t believe them when he tells you it smells like rose petals when it’s supposed to smell like pussy. That’s what they’re doing, trying to clean it up, make it smell like bathroom spray or a garden. All those douche sprays, floral, berry, rain. I don’t want my pussy to smell like rain. All cleaned up like washing a fish after you cooked it. I want to taste the fish. That’s why I ordered it. Then there’s those exams. Who thought them up? There’s got to be a better way to do those exams. Why the scary paper dress that scratches your tits and crunches when you lie down so you feel like a wad of paper someone threw away. Why the rubber gloves? Why the flashlight all up there like Nancy Drew working against gravity, why the Nazi steel stirrups, the mean cold duck lips they shove inside you? What’s that? My vagina’s angry about those visits. It gets defended weeksin advance. It won’t go out of the house. Then you get there. Don’t you hate that? (收起)

  2011-11-27 23:18:25   回应

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  THE LITTLE COOCHI SNORCHER THAT COULD

  lowho (Carpe Diem)

  Afterward the gorgeous lady teaches me everything about my coochi snorcher. She makes me play with myself in front of her and she teaches me all the different ways to give myself pleasure. She’s very thorough. She tells me to always know how to give myself pleasure so I’ll never need to rely on a man. In the morning I am worried that I’ve become a butch because I’m so in love with her. She lau... (更多)

  Afterward the gorgeous lady teaches me everything about my coochi snorcher. She makes me play with myself in front of her and she teaches me all the different ways to give myself pleasure. She’s very thorough. She tells me to always know how to give myself pleasure so I’ll never need to rely on a man. In the morning I am worried that I’ve become a butch because I’m so in love with her. She laughs, but I never see her again. I realized later she was my surprising, unexpected, politically incorrect salvation. She transformed my sorry-ass coochi snorcher and raised it up into a kind of heaven.

  (收起)

  2011-12-07 19:01:16   回应

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  第54页

  chris (Mess up Queen)

  We’ve been threatening to create a map of all the vagina-friendly cities. WelcomeThere have been many surprises. Islamabad, Pakistan joined in recently. Nairobi, Kenya was huge. And Birmingham, Alabama. There are many vagina holiday zones. New York City, Paris, Sarajevo, Manila, Santa Fe, Rome and Sydney. San Francisco has a status of its own; it’s a vagina world fair zone. Pittsburgh is most de... (更多)

  We’ve been threatening to create a map of all the vagina-friendly cities. WelcomeThere have been many surprises. Islamabad, Pakistan joined in recently. Nairobi, Kenya was huge. And Birmingham, Alabama. There are many vagina holiday zones. New York City, Paris, Sarajevo, Manila, Santa Fe, Rome and Sydney. San Francisco has a status of its own; it’s a vagina world fair zone. Pittsburgh is most definitely a vagina holiday zone. They are wild for vaginas in Pittsburgh. A woman from Pittsburgh was obsessed about a particular word, a pejorative word used to describe the vagina. Her mission was to reconceive the word. (收起)

  2011-11-27 23:57:28   回应

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  第3页

  chris (Mess up Queen)

  Let’s just start with theword “vagina.” It sounds like an infection at best,maybe a medical instrument: “Hurry, Nurse, bringme the vagina.” (更多)

  Let’s just start with theword “vagina.” It sounds like an infection at best,maybe a medical instrument: “Hurry, Nurse, bringme the vagina.” (收起)

  2011-11-27 21:10:24   回应

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  第18页

  chris (Mess up Queen)

  VAGINA FACT At a witch trial in 1593, the investigating lawyer(a married man) apparently discovered a clitoris forthe first time; [he] identified it as a devil’s teat, sure proof of the witch’s guilt. It was “a little lump of flesh,in manner sticking out as if it had been a teat, to the length of half an inch,” which the gaoler, “perceiving at the first sight thereof, meant not to di... (更多)

  VAGINA FACT

  At a witch trial in 1593, the investigating lawyer(a married man) apparently discovered a clitoris forthe first time; [he] identified it as a devil’s teat, sure proof of the witch’s guilt. It was “a little lump of flesh,in manner sticking out as if it had been a teat, to the length of half an inch,” which the gaoler, “perceiving at the first sight thereof, meant not to disclose, because it was adjoining to so secret a place which was not decent to be seen. Yet in the end, not willing to conceal so strange a matter,” he showed it to various bystanders. The bystanders had never seen anything like it. The witch was convicted. (收起)

  2011-11-27 21:46:00   回应

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  第31页

  chris (Mess up Queen)

  VAGINA FACT The clitoris is pure in purpose. It is the only organ in the body designed purely for pleasure. The clitoris is simply a bundle of nerves: 8,000 nerve fibers, to be precise. That’s a higher concentration of nerve fibers than is found anywhere else in the body, including the fingertips, lips, and tongue, and it is twice . . .twice . . . twice the number in the penis.Who needs a handgu... (更多)

  VAGINA FACT

  The clitoris is pure in purpose. It is the only organ in the body designed purely for pleasure. The clitoris is simply a bundle of nerves: 8,000 nerve fibers, to be precise. That’s a higher concentration of nerve fibers than is found anywhere else in the body, including the fingertips, lips, and tongue, and it is twice . . .twice . . . twice the number in the penis.Who needs a handgun when you’ve got a semiautomatic.—from Woman: (收起)

  2011-11-27 23:03:25   回应

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  THE LITTLE COOCHI SNORCHER THAT COULD

  lowho (Carpe Diem)

  Afterward the gorgeous lady teaches me everything about my coochi snorcher. She makes me play with myself in front of her and she teaches me all the different ways to give myself pleasure. She’s very thorough. She tells me to always know how to give myself pleasure so I’ll never need to rely on a man. In the morning I am worried that I’ve become a butch because I’m so in love with her. She lau... (更多)

  Afterward the gorgeous lady teaches me everything about my coochi snorcher. She makes me play with myself in front of her and she teaches me all the different ways to give myself pleasure. She’s very thorough. She tells me to always know how to give myself pleasure so I’ll never need to rely on a man. In the morning I am worried that I’ve become a butch because I’m so in love with her. She laughs, but I never see her again. I realized later she was my surprising, unexpected, politically incorrect salvation. She transformed my sorry-ass coochi snorcher and raised it up into a kind of heaven.

  (收起)

  2011-12-07 19:01:16   回应

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• 

  第54页

  chris (Mess up Queen)

  We’ve been threatening to create a map of all the vagina-friendly cities. WelcomeThere have been many surprises. Islamabad, Pakistan joined in recently. Nairobi, Kenya was huge. And Birmingham, Alabama. There are many vagina holiday zones. New York City, Paris, Sarajevo, Manila, Santa Fe, Rome and Sydney. San Francisco has a status of its own; it’s a vagina world fair zone. Pittsburgh is most de... (更多)

  We’ve been threatening to create a map of all the vagina-friendly cities. WelcomeThere have been many surprises. Islamabad, Pakistan joined in recently. Nairobi, Kenya was huge. And Birmingham, Alabama. There are many vagina holiday zones. New York City, Paris, Sarajevo, Manila, Santa Fe, Rome and Sydney. San Francisco has a status of its own; it’s a vagina world fair zone. Pittsburgh is most definitely a vagina holiday zone. They are wild for vaginas in Pittsburgh. A woman from Pittsburgh was obsessed about a particular word, a pejorative word used to describe the vagina. Her mission was to reconceive the word. (收起)

  2011-11-27 23:57:28   回应

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  第45页

  chris (Mess up Queen)

  VAGINA FACT In the nineteenth century, girls who learned to develop orgasmic capacity by masturbation were regarded as medical problems. Often they were “treated” or “corrected” by amputation or cautery of the clitoris or “miniature chastity belts,” sewing the vaginal lips together to put the clitoris out of reach, and even castration by surgical removal of the ovaries. But there are no ref... (更多)

  VAGINA FACT

  In the nineteenth century, girls who learned to develop orgasmic capacity by masturbation were regarded as medical problems. Often they were “treated” or “corrected” by amputation or cautery of the clitoris or “miniature chastity belts,” sewing the vaginal lips together to put the clitoris out of reach, and even castration by surgical removal of the ovaries. But there are no references in the medical literature to the surgical removal of testicles or amputation of the penis to stop masturbation in boys. In the United States, the last recorded clitoridectomy for curing masturbation was performed in 1948—on a five-year-old girl. (收起)

  2011-11-27 23:41:06   回应

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