P230 The Myth of No Effect and Gandhi's Paradox

即便个人改变不了整个社会体制，我们还是需要做出个人的努力。而这个努力的机会是交织在生活的方方面面的。我们不用执着改变他人，我们可以走更少人走的路，让别人看到除父权思想外的可能，就已经是很重要的努力了。
If changing the entire system through our own individual efforts is the standard against which we measure the ability to do something, then we have to set ourselves up to fail.
We have to let go of the idea that change does not happen unless we are around to see it and that what we do matters only if we make it happen. In other words, if we free ourselves of the expectation of being in control of things, we free ourselves to act and participate in the kind of fundamental change that transforms social life.
if we are going to be a part of a larger change process, we have to learn to live with this sometimes uncomfortable paradox... we have to be willing to travel without knowing where we are going with the faith to do what seems right without necessarily knowing the effect our actions have.
我们总说自己一个人力量太小，没什么用，所以不发声。但其实我们明明可以发声，明明可以打破哪怕只是一次对话中的厌女的面纱。但往往我们害怕冒犯别人，害怕后果，所以用“我发声了也没什么用”来合理化自己的沉默。
On some level, we each know we have this potential, and this knowledge can empower us or scare us into silence. We can change the course of the moment with something as simply as visibly not joining in the laughter, or saying, "I don't think that's funny."  we know how uncomfortable these can make people, and how they may ward off their discomfort by dismissing, excluding, or even attacking us as bearers of bad news. Our silence, then, is not because nothing we do will matter. Our silence is our not daring to matter.
我们可以选择走父权以外的道路，这一行为本身就是在弱化父权，展开新的可能性。
The patriarchal worldview weakens in the face of mounting evidence that it produces unacceptable consequences. We help weaken it by openly choosing alternative paths in our everyday lives and thereby providing living anomalies that do not fit the prevailing paradigm.