Pain is not generative. Pain does not produce heroic action. It only generates more pain. In "Pain Woman Takes Your Keys, and Other Essays from a Nervous System", Sonya Huber writers, "Pain is a cloud, a mist. Pain is like the weather itself. Though the wind and fronts are invisible, it can flatten a landscape." Pain is not a source of inspiration. Huber describes pain as being "soaked in this new substance, this jagged strange distracting heat." Hardly fuel for a creative fire.
Ambition was like a phantom limb: invisible, but pulsing with feeling as if it had physical shape and presence.
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My body is, and always will be, part mechanical machine. This fact is a burden, a gift, a risk, and a reality that can be projected and shifted in ways that I can control and not control. Like all of us who live and breathe and function in our bodies, composed of so many disparate parts and processes, so many conundrums and solutions: we are all hybrid beings. We are all part of the chaos and unpredictability that in creation, reinvention, and change.
Love and bodies come apart.
Art remains.引自第54页
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