41

I long to speak the deepest words I have to say to you;
But I dare not, for fear you should laugh.
That is why I laugh at myself and shatter my secret in jest.
I make light of my pain, afraid that you should do so.
I long to tell you the truest words I have to say to you;
But I dare not, being afraid that you would not believe them.
That is why I disguise them in untruth, saying the contrary of what I mean.
I make my pain appear absurd, afraid that you should do so.
I long to use the most precious words I have for you;
But [I]1 dare not, fearing I should not be paid with like value.
That is why I [gave]2 you hard names and boast of my callous strength.
I hurt you, for fear you should never know any pain.
I long to [sit]3 silent by you;
But I dare not lest my heart come out at my lips.
That is why I prattle and chatter lightly and hide my heart behind words.
I rudely handle my pain, for fear you should do so.
I long to go away from your side; but I dare not,
For fear my cowardice should become known to you.
That is why I hold my head high and carelessly come into your presence.
Constant thrusts from your eyes keep my pain fresh for ever. 

冰心译

I long to speak the deepest words I have to say to you； but I dare not， for fear you should laugh.

我想对你说出我要说的最深的话语，我不敢，我怕你哂笑。

That is why I laugh at myself and shatter my secret in jest.

因此我嘲笑自己，把我的秘密在玩笑中打碎。

I make light of my pain， afraid you should do so.

我之所以把我的痛苦说得轻松，因为怕你会这样做。

I long to tell you the truest words I have to say you； but I dare not， being afraid that you would not believe them.

我想对你说出我要说的最真的话语，我不敢，我怕你不信。

That is why I disguise them in untruth， saying the contrary of what I mean.

因此我弄真成假，说出和我的真心相反的话。

I make my pain appear absurd， afraid that you should do so.

我之所以把我的痛苦说得可笑，因为我怕你会这样做。

I long to use the most precious words I have for you； but I dare not， fearing I should not be paid with like value.

我想用最宝贵的名词来形容你，我不敢，我怕得不到相当的酬报。

That is why I give you hard names and boast of my callous strength.

因此我给你安上苛刻的名字，而夸示我的硬骨。

I hurt you， for fear you would never know any pain.

我之所以伤害你，因为怕你永远不知道我的痛苦。

I long to sit silent by you； but I dare not lest my heart come out at my lips.

我渴望静默地坐在你的身旁，我不敢，怕我的心会跳到我的唇上。

That is why I prattle and chatter lightly and hide my heart behind words.

因此我轻松地说东道西，把我的心藏在语言的后面。

I rudely handle my pain， for fear you should do so.

我之所以粗暴地对待我的痛苦，因为我怕你会这样做。

I long to go away from your side； but I dare not， for fear my cowardice should become known to you.

我渴望从你身边走开，我不敢，怕你看出我的懦怯。

That is why I hold my head high and carelessly come into your presence.

因此我随随便便地昂着走到你的面前。

Constant thrusts from your eyes keep my pain fresh for ever.

从你眼里频频掷来的刺激，使我的痛苦永远新鲜。