1895 - 1896 First breakdown after mother's death, read and read without writing...
There were moments of vivid, ecstatic perception, overwhelming emotions that could change very quickly... This was the illness which would become part of her life: watched for, scrutinized, darkly fascinating to her, hated, and battled through. ... 引自 2 Getting Through 1896 – 1904
‘Life is a hard business – one needs a rhinirocerous skin – and that one has not got’
‘tickling the rhinoceros with a feather’ (P29)
Parties made people behave in a way that matched their thin silk dresses, ‘for two or three hours a number of people have resoved to show only their silken side to one another.’ (P31)引自 2 Getting Through 1896 – 1904
cousins: Emma and Madge Vaughan （电影The Hours里面Meryl Streep的角色姓Vaughan）
Met and started relationship with Violet Dickinson
The person she found was Violet Dickinson, a kind, intelligent, well-connected, extremely tall (six foot two), widely loved, and contentedly unmarried woman seventeen years her senior. ... Through 1902-3 her letters to Violet were alive with sensuality. Often a tranche of her latest writing was enclosed which became part of the love letter. ...
Virginia Stephen's other critical relationship at this time was with her father. Her feelings towards him were extremely strong and conflicted. It was he who understood her intellect and believed seriously in her future as a writer. But since Julia's death he had been mired in his own grief and prone to self-indulgent outbursts that made Hyde Park Gate feel as claustrophobic as a cage. ...引自 2 Getting Through 1896 – 1904
Leslie Stephen died February 1904. Virginia became dangerously ill from April to September. She joined Violet in Hertfordshire, and attempted to kill herself.
… writing about the past might be a powerful and positive way of setting it to rest. (P36)
Vanessa moved the family home from Hyde Park Gate to Bloomsbury. Virginia came back to London started writing for the Guardian.
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