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Or perhaps - and this was the explanation I came to last, moving cautiously around it, peering at it, prodding it with a sharp stick every now and then to see if it'd get up and bite me - perhaps I’d stopped caring.

有时人就是这样回避自己心知肚明的现实和内心真实想法，“moving cautiously around it, peering at it, prodding it with a sharp stick every now and then to see if it'd get up and bite me”然后才敢面对。