- 2016-08-09 18:42:02
Loners. Socially inept. Repressed, in the wider sense of the word. I shopped because I was bored, because I needed to get away from the house, but mainly because the supermarket gave me peace and gave me pleasure: the airiness, the whiteness, the cleanness, the muzak, the quiet hiss of trolley wheels. And then there were all the choices. […] I didn’t have to put on a performance. I could be myself. […] I was the intruder, the dark one, the odd one out. They ate in the same way, in silence, bolting down their food as if it might be whipped away at any moment. Solitary eaters. He preferred people who were ready to give more of themselves; then sometimes he would plunk up the courage to give a little of himself in return. Is that what the sunset makes you think of – mortality? […] has a restless nature. Wherever he happens to be, he wants to be somewhere else. They are in a minority, […] the two of them, of souls that are stirred by these great, desolate expanses. I am a difficult person to live with. My difficulty consists in not wanting to share space with other people. […] I want to be able to be alone when I choose. ‘Maybe that’s just his nature. A melancholy type.’ […] Anyway, I wasn’t destined for that fate. He had not learned to hide his feelings, which is the first step towards civilized manners. We learn what we most deeply want to learn, A very quiet man, very humble, or perhaps just frightened of everything. What do you know of the world? What do you know of badness? What do you know of what men will do? He was a boy as a priest is always a boy until suddenly one day he is an old man.
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