- 2017-03-29 01:13:03
True wisdom gives the only possible answer at any given moment. In desperate love, we always invent the characters of our partners, demanding that they be what we need of them, and then feeling devastated when they refuse to perform the role we created in the first place. Addiction is the hallmark of every infatuation迷恋-based love story. It all begins when the object of your adoration bestows放置，使用，授予 upon you a heady兴奋的顽固的, hallucinogenic 引起幻觉的dose 剂量of something you never even dared to admit that you wanted—an emotional speed-ball, perhaps, of thunderous雷鸣般的 极大的 love and roiling 定期的周而复始的excitement. Soon you start craving 恳求渴望that intense attention, with the hungry obsession痴迷着魔 of any junkie瘾君子. When the drug is withheld扣留抑制, you promptly turn sick, crazy and depleted耗尽的废弃的 (not to mention resentful愤恨的不满的 of the dealer who encouraged this addiction in the first place but who now refuses to pony up 付账 交出 the good stuff anymore—despite the fact that you know he has it hidden somewhere, goddamn it, because he used to give it to you for free). Next stage finds you skinny 极瘦的不足的and shaking in a corner, certain only that you would sell your soul or rob your neighbors just to have that thing even one more time. Meanwhile, the object of your adoration has now become repulsed 厌烦 拒绝by you. He looks at you like you’re someone he’s never met before, much less someone he once loved with high passion. The irony is, you can hardly blame him. I mean, check yourself out. You’re a pathetic 无用的；差劲的；令人生厌的 | 招人怜悯的，可怜的 mess, unrecognizable even to your own eyes. So that’s it. You have now reached infatuation’s final destination—the complete and merciless残忍的 devaluation 下降 跌落of self. The fact that I can even write calmly about this today is mighty evidence of time’s healing powers, because I didn’t take it well as it was happening. “I want to have a lasting experience of God,” I told him. “Sometimes I feel like I understand the divinity 神性of this world, but then I lose it because I get distracted by my petty 琐碎的desires and fears. I want to be with God all the time. But I don’t want to be a monk僧侣 修道士, or totally give up worldly pleasures. I guess what I want to learn is how to live in this world and enjoy its delights, but also devote myself to God.” “To find the balance you want,” Ketut spoke through his translator, “this is what you must become. You must keep your feet grounded so firmly on the earth that it’s like you have four legs, instead of two. That way, you can stay in the world. But you must stop looking at the world through your head. You must look through your heart, instead. That way, you will know God.” You only have one problem in your life. You worry too much. Always you get too emotional, too nervous. If I promise you that you will never have any reason in your life to ever worry about anything, will you believe me?” The great Sufi poet and philosopher Rumi once advised his students to write down the three things they most wanted in life. If any item on the list clashes 冲突 with any other item, Rumi warned, you are destined for unhappiness. Better to live a life of single-pointed focus, he taught. Meanwhile, David and I had broken up again. This time, it seemed, for good. Or maybe not—we couldn’t totally let go of it. Often I was still overcome with a desire to sacrifice everything for the love of him. Other times, I had the quite opposite instinct—to put as many continents and oceans as possible between me and this guy, in the hope of finding peace and happiness. Because—who knows?—God might want me to be facing that particular challenge for a reason. Instead, I feel more comfortable praying for the courage to face whatever occurs in my life with equanimity平和 镇静, no matter how things turn out.
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Dante writes that God is not merely a blinding vision of glorious light, but that He is...
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