《Marva Collins' Way》的笔记-Questions From Parents
- 章节名：Questions From Parents
- 2019-01-23 19:22:51
Q: How can I best prepare my children for the day they enter their first classroom?
A: The child that gets a head start at home is a step ahead when he or she begins school. Create a climate where curiosity is encouraged and learning is fun. If your children are naturally inquisitive, don't discourage them. Never shut them up or say, "Stop asking so many questions." Curiosity is essential for learning, and questions are a sign of an active, inquiring mind. Rather than squelch their inquisitiveness, compliment them for asking intelligent questions. Remember, if they can't talk to you, who can they talk to?
Even when your child is very young you can transform ordinary activities into learning experiences. For example:
●Teach your child shapes such as circles and squares. You can purchase inexpensive books in the supermarket to help you with this activity.
●Have your children accompany you when shopping, and introduce them to numbers and units of measurement. When going up or down stairs, have your children count the steps.
●Play games of rhyming words with your children.
●Turn car trips into learning experiences: categorize objects you pass and count them, e.g. how many red cars, how many churches, etc.
●Always speak in correct English and complete sentences, and insist that your child do so as well.
●When reading stories and nursery rhymes, ask your child questions to cultivate the habit of active listening. For example, when reading "Jack and Jill,” ask questions such as, "What were the names of the children who went up the hill?" "Who went up the hill first?" "Who fell down?" You can also use stories to stimulate their imaginations by asking provocative questions such as, "What do you think they saw on the way up the hill?" or "Where do you think their parents were?"
Q: How can I be sure my children learn to read?
A: Perhaps the most important thing you can do is to set a good example by making sure your children see you read often. In addition, read something to your children every day, no matter how old they are. Even adolescents need and often want you to read with them, or to have them read to you. Reading to, or with, them is a good way to discover their strengths and weaknesses. Follow the reading sessions with questions, such as, "What happened in that story?" and "What do you think will happen next?"
With very young children, put pictures on cards with the words that describe the picture. Show the child the picture of a duck, for example, and say the word and spell it. Do this every day until the child masters the process, then begin to encourage the child to say and spell the word without the pictorial clue.
Play vowel games with your child. Say words such as cat, fig, pot, pet, rid, red, rut, etc. and have the child name the vowel in each word. This activity not only improves reading skills, but speaking skills as well.
When your children are old enough to read on their own, insist that they set aside at least thirty minutes a day to read in a quiet place and take the time to discuss with them what they have read.
Use a dictionary to teach your child three new words a day. A rich and varied vocabulary is essential for good readers and speakers. Make sure your children are familiar with, and use, more than one word to describe the same idea. For example, instead of letting them say big all the time, supply synonyms such as huge, enormous, and gargantuan.
When engaged in everyday activities, teach your children words and how to spell them. For example, when cooking, ask them to name the first letter in the word pot, corn, and steak.
Read challenging, positive stories that instill values and morals, not banal books with no instructive value beyond "See Dick run." For example, Petunias teaches the importance of learning to read and think for yourself. The Pied Piper of Hamelin teaches the importance of keeping your word. The story of Pierre teaches children to care about life.
Q: What can I do to help my child develop positive self-esteem?
A: Building self-esteem and confidence in your children is one of the most important things a parent can do. You can build self-esteem by continuously reminding your children that they are special, intelligent, worthwhile individuals. Never be afraid to hug them or tell them that you love them. Don't take it for granted that they know how you feel; tell them consistently and often.
Frequently, parents single out only the things their children do wrong. We should also praise them for the things they do right. For example, "I like the way you cooperated when getting dressed this morning," or "You did such a good job helping out with the dishes tonight."
Every day, tell your children what you like about them, and ask them what they like about themselves. Having done that, you can then go into the behavior you would like them to change or improve - and ask them what they would like to change about themselves.
When you send your children off to school in the morning, boost their self-images with encouraging words like, "Be all that you can be today" and "Remember, whatever happens, you are a winner and I love you very much."
When your children are faced with a difficult task, never say things like, "You can't do that," or "You're too small to do that." Let them try what they want to do. If they don't succeed, praise them for their efforts and say, "You did a wonderful job, but let me give you some help."
When your children make mistakes with their homework, or misuse a word, or add two figures incorrectly, don't just say, "That's wrong." Instead, say "That was a good try, but it wasn't quite right."
Q: How can I discipline my children without damaging their self-esteem?
A: Every parent has to correct their children or reprimand them, but the way you do it is crucial. Discipline them in a loving manner; never demean, degrade, or humiliate. If your patience has been tried to the limit, say "I love you very much, but right now I do not care to talk to you" or "I love you all the time, but right now I am disappointed with your behavior."
Instead of reprimanding them in a purely negative way, try "You are much too bright to do that. I must punish you, but I want you to remember that I love you all the time, even though I disagree with this behavior."
If your child has a temper tantrum, try saying, "I don't know that person who is acting out right now, but I am sure that my bright, well-behaved child will return very soon, so I'll just leave the room until he comes back."
Even discipline can be used as a learning experience. Rather than spewing forth negatives you might later regret, if your children are old enough to write and spell, have them take a sheet of paper and write down ten reasons why they are too special to have exhibited such behavior. Then hang the paper in a prominent place as a reminder to the children.
Q: What should I do if I'm told my child is hyperactive or has a learning disability?
A: Get a second opinion, and if necessary a third and a fourth. Those conditions are often misdiagnosed. Many children are told they have learning disorders when the only thing wrong is how they are being taught. With proper teaching of the basics, a large number of children who are thought to have learning disorders develop quite normal skills.
With respect to hyperactivity, too many children are incorrectly labeled. In many cases, the children are very bright and energetic, but poorly motivated. Some are simply smart enough to finish an assignment before their classmates. Bored and restless, they are called disruptive, or are mistaken for hyperactive, when they are just being kids. Sadly, many of these children are then sedated with drugs, often turning into little zombies as a result. In an age where we are urging kids to "just say no" it is astonishing that we should so freely dispense drugs to control their behavior.
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