And, well, maybe not...but I think that's how love works. Sometimes it means doing the washing up when it's not your mess, and sometimes it's driving to the airport three times in one week to pick up a loved one, and sometimes it's all unexpected bears and possible sur-prise giraffes.Probably not so much the last ones for most people,but then again, we're not most people.
And thank God for that.引自第77页
Without the dark there isn't light. Without the pain there is no relief. And I remind myself that I'm lucky to be able to feel such great sorrow, and also such great happiness. I can grab on to each moment of joy and live in those moments because I have seen the bright from dark to light and back again. I am privileged to be able to recognize that the sound of laughter is a blessing and a song, and to realize that the bright hours spent with my family and friends are extraordinary treasures to be saved, because those same moments are a medicine, a balm. Those moments are a promise that life is worth fighting for,and that promise is what pulls me through when depression distorts reality and tries to convince me otherwise.
Maybe the scales that weigh everyone else's emotions don't work for me. Maybe my scales are greater. Or less. Maybe instead of a scale I've wandered off to one of those nowhere places where you wait. And maybe one day I'll be found, and someone will explain to me why I am the way that I am.
Or maybe not.
After all,some stories aren't meant to be told.
You expect that you're fixed forever but your eyesight continuesto fade as you get older, which ends up being a nice coincidence because the older you get the less clearly you want to see yourself in the mirror.引自第227页
I continue to do what I do because that is life, and one day I'll maybe get used to this. Maybe one day I'll have the same reaction to life that I have when I'm locked in a plane or onstage. Maybe I'll be able to relax and enjoy my life without letting fear keep me from living it. Maybe one day I'll easily acknowedge the frank truth...that I have no other choice but to breathe and move forward.引自第246页
I see that stretching out my soul to feel every inch of horrific depression gave me more room to grow and enjoy the beauty of life that others might not ever appreciate. I see that there is dust in the air that will eventually settle onto the floor to be swept out the door as a nuisance, but before that, for one brilliant moment I see the dust motes catch sunlight and sparkle and dance like stardust. I see the beginning and the end of all things. I see my life. It is beautifully ugly and tarnished in just the right way. It sparkles with debris. There is wonder and joy in the simplest of things. My mother was right.
It's all in the way you look at it.引自第265页
I tried to be honest about the shame I feel because with honest comes empowerment. And also, understanding. I know that if I go out on a stage and have a panic attack, I can duck behind the podium and hide for a minute and no one is going to judge me. They already know I'm crazy. And they still love me in spite of it. In fact, some love me because of it. Because there is something wonderful in accept-ing someone else's flaws, especially when it gives you the chance to accept your own and see that those flaws are the things that make us human.引自第321页
Ground zero is where the normal people live their lives, but not us. We live in the negatives so often that we begin to understand that life when the sun shines should be lived full throttle, soaring. The invisible tether that binds the normal people on their steady course doesn't hold us in the same way. Sometimes we walk in sunlight with everyone else. Sometimes we live underwater and fight and grow.
And sometimes...
..sometimes we fly.引自第325页
