Sunny对《How to Raise an Adult》的笔记(1)

How to Raise an Adult
  • 书名: How to Raise an Adult
  • 作者: Julie Lythcott-Haims
  • 副标题: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success
  • 页数: 368
  • 出版社: Henry Holt and Co.
  • 出版年: 2015-6-9
  • 第169页
    不做直升机父母,应该怎么做:
    1. Give Them Unstructured Time
    2. Teach Life skills:
    Age 14-18:
    - perform more sophisticated cleaning and maintenance chores, such as cleaning the stove, and unclogging drains
    - fill a car with gas, add air to and change a tire
    - read and understand medicine labels and dosages
    - interview for and get a job
    - prepare and cook meals
    Young Adult:
    - make regular doctor and dentist appointments and other important health-related appointments
    - have a basic understanding of finances, and be able to manage his bank account, balance a checkbook, pay a bill, and use a credit card
    - understand basic contracts, like an apartment or car lease
    - schedule oil changes and basic car maintenance
    3. Teach Them How to Think
    think for themselves;
    persist at thinking;
    think about more than themselves;
    - Come up with a topic about which there are different perspectives.
    - As your kids what they think
    - Play devil's advocate
    - Encourage your kid to respond to your point of view.
    - FOR THE ADVANCED: Switch sides
    let them speak up for themselves; value it, make a goal for yourself, practice it, resist, resist, resit!, add your thought when necessary
    their thinking, their life
    4. Prepare them for hard work
    A parent's right and responsibility:
    - Model it
    - Expect their help
    - Don't apologize or overexplain
    - Give clear, straightfoward instructions
    - Give appropriate thanks and feedback
    5. Let Them Chart Their Own Path
    Purpose matters
    6. Normalize Struggle
    Building resilience in kids: - Be present in your kids life: show your love; take an interest in them; show them you care
    - Also, back off: let them make choices and decide how to do things; let them take risks and make mistakes.
    - Help them grow from experience: after the experience, decision, or choice has been made, engage in a qustioning dialogue to unpack what your kid learned from the experience; continue to set the bar higher; combat perfectionism
    - build their character: notice them being good; help them develop perspective
    - give specific, authentic feedback: How to praise: specific praise build confidence because it show we've pasued for a moment to pay attention to wha tthe kid has actually done; How to criticize: the action (which can be corrected) as opposed to saying or implying that our kid is a bad person (which cann't be changed).
    7. Have a wider mind-set about colleges
    - be realistic about the odds
    - brag about other barnds
    - understand the adventages of going to a less selective college: every college it's the top kids who get the most attention, resouces, and opportunities that lead to greater success in grad school.
    - Use best college lists othe rthan the U.S. News list
    Fiske Guide to College
    - consider colleges that de-emphasize test scores www.fairtest.org
    2018-01-08 10:48:32 回应

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聆听父亲
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Waiting
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I'm Ok, You're Ok
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花儿与少年
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I for Imagine
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Ansel Adams
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Brave Girl Eating
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Almost Anorexic
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The Back of the Napkin
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The Shack
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Every Last One
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8 Keys to Recovery from an Eating Disorder
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Black Box Thinking
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Tiny Beautiful Things
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Bad Blood
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How to Think
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Us Against You
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Beauty in the Broken Places
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Better
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How to Change Your Mind
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Food Rules
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The Neuroscientist Who Lost Her Mind
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The Talent Code
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Why You Eat What You Eat
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Mind Over Mood
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12 Rules for Life
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Good Dog. Stay.
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Exit West
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Daring Greatly
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Everything Happens for a Reason
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Complications
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Untangled
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Altered Traits
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Stay with Me
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Light the Dark
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Saint Anything
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Misbehaving
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You Can Do Anything
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Little Fires Everywhere
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Search Inside Yourself
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Irresistible
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Option B
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Everybody Lies
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我们为什么旅行
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