Sunny对《Untangled》的笔记(3)

Sunny
Sunny

读过 Untangled

Untangled
  • 书名: Untangled
  • 作者: Lisa Damour
  • 副标题: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood
  • 页数: 352
  • 出版年: 2016-2-9
  • 第1页
    While an adolescent remains inconsistent and unpredictable in her behavior, she may suffer, but she does not seem to me to be in need of treatment. I think that she should be given time and scope to work out her own solution. Rather, it may be her parents who need help and guidance so as to be able to bear with her. There are few situations in life which are more difficult to cope with than an adolescent son or daughter during the attempt to liberate themselves.
    ----- Anna Freud (1958), “Adolescence”
    2018-01-07 04:40:41 回应
  • 第83页
    by Anna Freud:
    I take it that it is normal for an adolescent to behave for a considerable length of time in an inconsistent and unpredictable manner; to fight her impulses and accept them; to love her parents and to hate them; to revolt against them and be dependent on them; to be deeply ashamed to acknowledge here mother before other and, unexpectedly, to desire heart-to-heart talks with her; to thrive on imitation of others while searching unceasingly for her own idenity; to be more idealistic, artistic, generous, and unselfish than she will ever be again, but also the opposite: self-centered, egoistic, calculating. Such fluctuations and extreme opposites would be deemed highly abnormal at any other time of life. At the time they may signify no more than that an adult structure of personality takes a long time to emerge, that the individual in quesiton does not cease to experiment and is in no hurry to close down on possibilities.
    2018-01-08 04:24:23 回应
  • 第19页
    Surprisingly Mean
    A girl's meanness toward her parents usually has two impressive qualities. First, it's carefully aimed at their vulnerabilities; a girl know show to be mean in jus the way that will hurt or reject her parents.
    SEcond, girl's meannes can be astonishingly unpunishable because most adolescent girls avoid pedestrian tactics like name-calling. Instead, they operate in a retaliation-proof margin that's aggressive but hard to prevent, pin down, or penalize. They make observations about thier parents that are as witty as they are wounding. While maintaining an air of innocence - or even offering what she considres to be helpful feedbak about your haircut, tastes, or deeply held values - your daughter might casually toss off a comment that ruins your whole day, especially if, you are feeling vulnerable to start.
    2018-01-08 10:14:41 回应

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