I keep thinking about the story that the ants on the log above fire.
Two sides ,where every side leads to death.
First,They swarmed to end and fell in fire and burned.
Then,they swarned to the other end which seems cooler and fell in fire and burned.
The world kills the one who bring so much courage,who are strong,who are gentle ,and who are good,and if it can't kill them,then it breaks them .If you are not one of them,then there's less pain.
So I think the latter ants are more miserable because they see hope and they struggle ,and maybe they even think the world is terrific ,and then they became fucking ashes.The first is like ,confused ,and bang,died,no extra drama ,no extra thinking, quick and direct.
So if we are gonna to be fucked up anyway ,I'd rather to be the first one.I 'm just gonna sit and life fuck me up ,in peace. I suppose I'm totally fine of all the shit .Just spare those unnecessary pains is all I want.
Just as Raymond Carver said ," For most people, life is not an adventure, but a torrent of a mod."
To Henry,the lost of catherine is not something he can control, and war is not something he can control either.
To us,we are just wandering in this world not knowing what we want.It doesn't matter because it will always be disappointed in the end.
I think,we are just the ants that doomed to fall in the fire.