找到我们这代这么多人缺爱的根源了

原来历来母子之间不谈感情，只谈责任和义务。

Maternal Attachment

“Embedded in a woman’s stories about motherhood was often a trace of satisfaction—that she had acquitted herself honorably, fulfilling her duty to provide material security, care, and moral guidance. Women did not talk much about affection, love, longing, ambivalence, anxiety, and other emotions closely associated with mothering in contemporary China.92 These are themes of recent provenance; in the imperial era, for instance, women’s written representations of self centered on filial devotion and wifely loyalty rather than maternal attachment. In spoken memories of the collective period, accounts of the emotional valences of motherhood are fragmentary but intriguing: the powerful gratitude sons feel toward their widowed mothers, the grief mothers express over their dead children, and the understated, matter-of-fact manner in which women activists and cadres discuss their own child rearing.”

Excerpt From

The Gender of Memory

Hershatter, Gail;

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【中文版】

母子之间的感情联系

在一个妇女讲述的关于当母亲的故事中，往往还透露出一丝满足感，这就是， 她光荣地完成了自己的使命，给了孩子物质保障、照顾和道德指引。妇女们没有过多地谈到喜欢、关爱、渴望、矛盾、焦虑和其他跟当代中国的育儿密切相联的情感。 这些主题都是新近才出现的。例如在封建时期，妇女在书写自我时，集中表现的是自己如何孝顺和对丈夫如何忠诚，而不是母亲和孩子之间的感情联系。在集体化时期的口述记忆中，关于母亲角色的情感效价的记述虽零碎不完整但却引人入胜: 儿子对寡母的深切感激，母亲失去孩子的哀痛，以及 妇女积极分子和干部们怎样不动声色、轻淡写地讲起她们自己的育儿经历。