翻译批评之The Big Bow Mystery <2>

照旧，忽略漏译和赘笔。一共八段话。

1 等到那壶麻烦的水开了以后，达普顿太太不会给康斯坦特先生泡她和莫特莱克先生平时喝的那种黑绿茶叶混合而成的粗茶。
The tea to be scalded in Mr. Constant's pot, when that cantankerous kettle should boil, was not the coarse mixture of black and green sacred to herself and Mr. Mortlake
【black tea = 红茶 】

2 她不羡慕莫特莱克先 生丰厚的收入，也不相信他把康斯坦特先生介绍到她这儿来住，会像他的那些对手所说的那样是为了一己的私利，莫特莱克先生这样做只是想为她介绍点生意罢了。
She did not grudge him his gains, nor was it her business if, as they alleged, in introducing Mr. Constant to her vacant rooms, his idea was not merely to benefit his landlady. He had done her an uncommon good turn, queer as was the lodger thus introduced.
【并非“不相信”，而是不关她的事（ not one's business)：就算如外人谣传的那样，他将康斯坦特先生介绍为新房客，并不只是让女房东得便宜，而是另有企图，这也不关她的事。
queer as was the lodger thus introduced 漏译：只是他的这种做法和他介绍的这位房客一样的古怪】

3 尽管她从来没有像别的家庭主妇那样受到 过罪犯的威胁
she never suffered as much as most good housewives do from criminals who never come.
【对who never come 视而不见。改译之：尽管她从不像大多数家庭主妇那样，为了几个永不会造访的毛贼而提心吊胆。】


5 著名的退休侦探格罗德曼就住在街对面不远的地方。虽然并没有住在房子的正对面，但他的存在却让达普顿太太的心里有了一种奇妙的安全感，就像 躲在教堂里的基督徒心里从没有任何阴影一样。
Not quite opposite, but still only a few doors off, on the other side of the street, lived the celebrated ex-detective Grodman, and, illogically enough, his presence in the street gave Mrs. Drabdump a curious sense of security, as of a believer living under the shadow of the fane.
【the shadow of the fane 之处，乱译。原文是，就像生活在教堂的庇护下的教徒那样，（心中有一种奇妙的安全感）】

6 虽然 格罗德曼已经退休了（可嗅觉依然非常灵敏），目前每天不过是在家里打打盹儿，但没有哪个罪犯愿意去打扰他的美梦。
Grodman had retired (with a competence) and was only a sleeping dog now; still, even criminals would have sense enough to let him lie.
【competence = 能力 ，侦探抓贼难道是靠“嗅觉”么？】

7 莫特莱克先生此行的目的是想让那的船厂工人仿效伦敦工人闹罢工。
Tom had gone to help the dockers, who were imitating their London brethren.
【 译文和原文的意思完全不同。译文中，这位工人领袖是去煽动工人罢工，而原文中，是 码头工人效仿伦敦的工友闹罢工，莫特莱克先生前去帮助他们。（即所谓的“指导”，也就是刘少奇在江西某煤矿上干的事，如何煽风点火，如何挑拨工人情绪）】

8 达普顿太太使劲地敲着卧室的房门，大声叫喊康斯坦特先生的 名字。
Mrs. Drabdump rattled his door, shouted, and at last put the wire under it.
【 最后的部分漏译。这里的wire = 电报， 即将电报从门缝里塞进去。 】

9不过这平常而又单调的街景还是让她镇定了下来。
Yet the familiar, prosaic aspect of the street calmed her.
【 familiar = 熟悉的 】

10 但手上的茶壶却在不住地颤抖着。
But the canister trembled in her grasp.
【canister 同can，=茶叶罐 】

11 她近乎疯狂地摇起了门，
She rained blow upon blow in a sort of spasm of frenzy,
【 blow 敲门 ，不是“摇” 】

12 还险些踢坏了门下的地砖，
and almost staving in the lower panels with her kicks.
【假如见过木门的话，就知道Lower panels 就是指 门的下半部分，这里若是要翻译，可以径直译作：还险些踢穿房门（的下半截）。】

13 他从来没有早起的习惯。不过话说回来，起早了也没有什么事情可做。
Grodman was not an early bird, now that he had no worms to catch.
【颠倒因果关系，注意now that这个习语。改译之：既然他如今不必去做侦探抓贼，也就从来不会早起。】

14 他才不管别人的闲言碎语，毕竟房子是他自己 的，而且这条街上另外好几幢房子也是他的，在弓区做房东的感觉那可不是一般的好啊！也许他还在偷偷地为自己过得比朋友们都好而洋洋得意昵！
He could afford to despise proverbs now, for the house in which he lived was his, and he lived in it because several other houses in the street were also his, and it is well for the landlord to be about his own estate in Bow, where poachers often shoot the moon.
【后半截乱译。shoot the moon，习语，在这里指房客为了逃避房租，悄悄搬走。在弓区做房东，最好住在自己的不动产附近，因为这一带的房客常常悄悄搬走，赖掉房租。】

15 这里是他出生成 长的地方，连他的第一份工作也是在这儿的警察分局找到的，那时他只是在业余时间才能做做侦探的工作，换取一点微薄的酬劳。
Perhaps the desire to enjoy his greatness among his early cronies counted for something, too, for he had been born and bred at Bow, receiving when a youth his first engagement from the local police quarters, whence he had drawn a few shillings a week as an amateur detective in his leisure hours.
【首先，请明白whence的具体释义；其次，原文中点明了他是业余侦探（amateur detective ），engagement也根本不是“工作”。
他年轻时，第一次接受警方委托调查案件也是在弓区，自那以后，他就靠在闲暇时做点业余侦探的活儿，每周挣上几先令的零钱。
另外，Perhaps the desire to enjoy his greatness among his early cronies counted for something 漏译。
这人发达之后，住在自己出生长大的地方，周围都是以前的朋友，于是就享受到一种无与伦比的优越感，而他住在弓区，这也算部分原因。
要如何简洁地翻译，本人还要想想。】