Un Enfant Heurex (A Happy Child) by Didier Pleux "It's simply that the child must learn, from a very young age, that he's not alone in the world, and that there's a time for everything." 兒童必須盡早學習這個世界上不是只有他一個人，有些事情是需要等待的（不要小孩一哭就馬上滿足他的任何需求。）
Walter Mischel "If kids have the experience that when they're told to wait, that if they scream, Mommy will come and the wait will be over, they will very quickly learn not to wait. Non-waiting and screaming and carrying on and whining are being rewarded." 在你叫小孩「等一下」的同時，如果小孩只要尖叫媽媽就馬上過來安撫的話，久而久之小孩就會學到他並沒有需要「等」，因為他得到的經驗是，大吼大叫反而會得到獎勵（媽媽的安撫）。
---------------------------------- p. 59 … you also have to believe that a baby is a person who’s capable of learning things (in this case, how to sleep) and coping with some frustration. 你需要相信小孩具有學習的能力，他可以學習像大人一樣晚上睡整夜而不是每隔兩個小時就醒過來，也有能力處理挫折（哭並不是永遠有效的）。
p. 76 “The most important thing is that he learns to be happy by himself,” she says of her son.
Parents who value this ability are probably more apt to leave a child alone when he’s playing well by himself. 小孩如果在很專心地玩，盡量不要打斷，因為他們需要學習自得其樂而不是甚麼時候都要大人陪伴。
p. 77 Mischel says the worst-case scenario for a kid from eighteen to twenty-four months of age is “the child is busy and the child is happy, and the mother comes along with a fork full of spinach…
“The mothers who really foul it up are the ones who are coming in when the child is busy and doesn’t want or need the, and are not there when the child is eager to have them. So becoming alert to that is absolutely critical.” 差勁的媽媽，會在小孩明明自己玩得很開心、不需要她干預的時候插進來，而當小孩需要她陪伴的時候她卻在忙自己的事情（也就是按照自己的「方便」打亂孩子的節奏，而不是真正觀察孩子的需求。）
p.84 A French psychologist writes that when a child has a caprice—for instance, his mother is in a shop with him and he suddenly demands a toy—the mother should remain extremely calm and gently explain that buying the toy isn’t in the day’s plan. Then she should try to bypass the caprice by redirecting the child’s attention, for example by telling a story about her own life. “Stories about parents are always interesting to children,” the psychologist says.
The psychologist says that throughout this the mother should stay in close communication with the child, by embracing him or looking him in the eye. But she must also make him understanding that “he can’t have everything right away. It’s essential not to have him thinking that he is all-powerful, and that he can do everything and have everything.” 小孩無理取鬧甚麼都想要的時候，要溫柔但堅定地解釋給她聽為甚麼不可以，要讓她知道她不是萬能的、更不可以為所欲為。
p.97 “Do you know the surest means of making your child miserable?” he writes. “It is to accustom him to getting everything. Since his desires grow constantly due to the ease of satisfying them, sooner or later powerlessness will force you, in spite of yourself, to end with a refusal. And this unaccustomed refusal will give him more torment than being deprived of what he desires.” 一個肯定會讓你的孩子痛苦終生的做法，就是她要甚麼就給她甚麼。因為你總有一天無法滿足她膨脹的慾望而不得不拒絕她，到了那一天，因為她從來沒有被拒絕過，這種陌生的挫折感對她來說更痛苦。
p. 149 What’s different about French moms is that they get back their pre-baby identities, too. For starters, they seem more physically separate from their children.
Some French parents store toys in the living room. But plenty don’t. The children in these families have loads of playthings, but these don’t engulf the common spaces. At a minimum, the toys are put away at night. Parents see doing this as a healthy separation and a chance to clear their minds when the kids go to bed. Samia, my neighbor who during the day is the extremely doting mother of a two-year-old, tells me that when her daughter goes to bed, “I don’t want to see any toys… Her universe is in her room.” 媽媽要保留自我，但並不意味著不愛小孩。
pp. 180-181 Making kids say bonjour isn’t just for the benefit of grow-ups. It’s also to help kids learn that they’re not the only ones with feelings and needs.
“It avoids selfishness,” says Esther, who dragged out her daughter—an adorable, doted-on only child—to say goodbye to me. “Kids who ignore people, and don’t say bonjour or au revoir, they just stay in their bubble. Since parents are dedicated to them already, when will they get the sense that they are there to give, not just to receive?”
… If she’s exempt from that first rule of civility, she—and everyone else—will be quicker to assume that she’s exempt from many other rules, too, or that she’s not capable of following these rules. Saying bonjour signals to the child, and to everyone else, that she’s capable of behaving well. It sets the tone for the whole interaction between adults and children.
… “I think the child who doesn’t say bonjour cannot really feel confident.” 小孩必須學會跟人打招呼，他們要意識到他人的存在，而不是把別人當作空氣。並且他們需要尊重這些人人都遵守的基本社交規則。
p. 215 “The couple is the most important. It’s the only thing that you chose in your life. Your children, you didn’t choose. You chose your husband. So, you’re going to make your life with him. So you have an interest in it going well. Especially when the children leave, you want to get along with him. For me, it’s prioritaires.” 媽媽不能只顧著小孩而忘了和丈夫的交流，因為丈夫才是自己選的，這是唯一一段你自己選擇的關係，絕對是最重要的關係。孩子有一天會離巢而去，夫妻的相處才是一輩子的。
p. 264 “In America, it’s acceptaed that when you have kids, your time is not your own,” … “The kids need to understand that they’re not the center of attention. They need to understand that the world doesn’t revolve around them.” 小孩要了解到父母也需要自己的私人空間，不是甚麼時候都要陪著他們的。
p. 268 “The more spoiled a child is, the more unhappy he is,” she tells me, almost as soon as we sit down. 越是被溺愛的小孩，本質上越容易不開心。
pp. 272-273 His favorite paradox is that in order for parents to have authority, they should say yes most of the time. “If you always forbid, you’re authoritarian,” Marcelli tells me, over coffee and chocolates. He says the main point of parental authority is to authorize children to do things, not to block them. 父母權威的建立，是透過在大部分的時間都對孩子說「可以」，允許他們去做大部分的事情，然後只在真正重要且必須拒絕的事情上面說「不」。