1. Cultivate authenticit, let go what people think 2. Cultivate self-compassion, let go professionism 3. Cultivate a resilient spirit, let go numbing and powerlessness 4. Cultivate gratitude and job, let go scarcity and fear of dark 5. Cultivate inititute and trusting of faith, let go the need for certainty 6. Cultivate creativity, let go comparasion 7. Cultivate play and rest, let go exhausion...
1. Cultivate authenticit, let go what people think
2. Cultivate self-compassion, let go professionism
3. Cultivate a resilient spirit, let go numbing and powerlessness
4. Cultivate gratitude and job, let go scarcity and fear of dark
5. Cultivate inititute and trusting of faith, let go the need for certainty
6. Cultivate creativity, let go comparasion
7. Cultivate play and rest, let go exhausion as a stuatus symbol and productivity as self-worth
8. Cultivate calm & stillness, let go anxiety as life style
9. Cultivate meaningful work, let go self doubt and supposed to
10. Cultivate laughter, song and dance, let go being cool and always in control
Book: Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
Author: Brown, Brene
*** Highlight 2016/6/16
Perfect and bulletproof are seductive, but they don’t exist in the human experience. We must walk into the arena, whatever it may be—a new relationship, an important meeting, our creative process, or a ...
Book: Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and LeadAuthor: Brown, Brene========================================*** Highlight 2016/6/16Perfect and bulletproof are seductive, but they don’t exist in the human experience. We must walk into the arena, whatever it may be—a new relationship, an important meeting, our creative process, or a difficult family conversation—with courage and the willingness to engage. Rather than sitting on the sidelines and hurling judgment and advice, we must dare to show up and let ourselves be seen. This is vulnerability. This is daring greatly.========================================*** Highlight 2016/6/16What we all share in common—what I’ve spent the past several years talking to leaders, parents, and educators about—is the truth that forms the very core of this book: What we know matters, but who we are matters more.========================================*** Highlight 2016/12/28” We simply can’t learn to be more vulnerable and courageous on our own. Sometimes our first and greatest dare is asking for support.========================================*** Highlight 2016/12/28It’s one of my favorites: ‘Only when we’re brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.========================================*** Highlight 2016/12/28If you recall the twelve shame categories (appearance and body image, money and work, motherhood/fatherhood, family, parenting, mental and physical health, addiction, sex, aging, religion, surviving trauma, and being stereotyped or labeled), the primary trigger for women, in terms of its power and universality, is the first one: how we look. Still. After all of the consciousness-raising and critical awareness, we still feel the most shame about not being thin, young, and beautiful enough.========================================*** Highlight 2016/12/29practice: “There’s a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.”========================================*** Highlight 2016/12/29With disconnection it’s a similar story. We may have a couple of hundred friends on Facebook, plus a slew of colleagues, real-life friends, and neighbors, but we feel alone and unseen. Because we are hardwired for connection, disconnection always creates pain. Feeling disconnected can be a normal part of life and relationships, but when coupled with the shame of believing that we’re disconnected because we’re not worthy of connection, it creates a pain that we want to numb.========================================*** Highlight 2016/12/29Before I undertook this research, my question was “What’s the quickest way to make these feelings go away?” Today my question is “What are these feelings and where did they come from?”========================================*** Highlight 2016/12/29numbing?” In response, author and personal growth teacher Jennifer Louden has named our numbing devices “shadow comforts.” When we’re anxious, disconnected, vulnerable, alone, and feeling helpless, the booze and food and work and endless hours online feel like comfort, but in reality they’re only casting their long shadows over our lives.========================================*** Highlight 2016/12/29found that what emerged from the data was exactly what Louden points out: “It’s not what you do; it’s why you do it that makes the difference.”========================================*** Highlight 2016/12/29reads, “Cruelty is cheap, easy, and chickenshit.” That’s also a touchstone of my spiritual beliefs.========================================*** Highlight 2016/12/29The fear of being vulnerable can unleash cruelty, criticism, and cynicism in all of us.========================================*** Highlight 2016/12/29“The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you’re uncool.”========================================*** Highlight 2016/12/29Before we start this chapter, I want to clarify what I mean by “leader.” I’ve come to believe that a leader is anyone who holds her- or himself accountable for finding potential in people and processes. The term leader has nothing to do with position, status, or number of direct reports. I wrote this chapter for all of us—parents, teachers, community volunteers, and CEOs—anyone who is willing to dare greatly and lead.========================================*** Highlight 2016/12/30Here’s how she explained it: “By definition, entrepreneurship is vulnerable. It’s all about the ability to handle and manage uncertainty. People are constantly changing, budgets change, boards change, and competition means you have to stay nimble and innovative. You have to create a vision and live up to that vision. There is no vision without vulnerability.”========================================*** Highlight 2016/12/30In businesses, schools, faith communities—any system, even families—we can tell a lot about how people engage with vulnerability by observing how often and how openly you hear people saying:• I don’t know.• I need help.• I’d like to give it a shot.• It’s important to me.• I disagree—can we talk about it?• It didn’t work, but I learned a lot.• Yes, I did it.• Here’s what I need.• Here’s how I feel.• I’d like some feedback.• Can I get your take on this?• What can I do better next time?• Can you teach me how to do this?• I played a part in that.• I accept responsibility for that.• I’m here for you.• I want to help.• Let’s move on.• I’m sorry.• That means a lot to me.• Thank you.========================================*** Highlight 2016/12/30Chapter 4, perfectionism is not teaching them how to strive for excellence or be their best selves. Perfectionism is teaching them to value what other people think over what they think or how they feel. It’s teaching them to perform, please, and prove.========================================*** Highlight 2016/12/31Belonging is being somewhere where you want to be, and they want you. Fitting in is being somewhere where you really want to be, but they don’t care one way or the other.Belonging is being accepted for you. Fitting in is being accepted for being like everyone else.I get to be me if I belong. I have to be like you to fit in.========================================*** Highlight 2016/12/31from Pema Chödrön, who writes: “Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals.========================================*** Highlight 2016/12/31Before writing this section, I spread my data all over my dining room table and asked myself this question: What do parents experience as the most vulnerable and bravest thing that they do in their efforts to raise Wholehearted children? I thought it would take days to figure it out, but as I looked over the field notes, the answer was obvious: letting their children struggle and experience adversity.========================================*** Highlight 2016/12/31B. According to Snyder, who dedicated his career to studying this topic, hope isn’t an emotion; it’s a way of thinking or a cognitive process. Emotions play a supporting role, but hope is really a thought process made up of what Snyder calls a trilogy of goals, pathways, and agency. In very simple terms, hope happens when:We have the ability to set realistic goals (I know where I want to go).We are able to figure out how to achieve those goals, including the ability to stay flexible and develop alternative routes (I know how to get there, I’m persistent, and I can tolerate disappointment and try again).We believe in ourselves (I can do this!).========================================*** Highlight 2016/12/31is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again,because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause;========================================*** Highlight 2016/12/31who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.…—Theodore Roosevelt========================================*** Highlight 2016/12/31Daring greatly is not about winning or losing. It’s about courage. In a world where scarcity and shame dominate and feeling afraid has become second nature, vulnerability is subversive. Uncomfortable. It’s even a little dangerous at times. And, without question, putting ourselves out there means there’s a far greater risk of feeling hurt. But as I look back on my own life and what Daring Greatly has meant to me, I can honestly say that nothing is as uncomfortable, dangerous, and hurtful as believing that I’m standing on the outside of my life looking in and wondering what it would be like if I had the courage to show up and let myself be seen.========================================*** Highlight 2016/12/31story-catching. Stories are data with a soul and no methodology honors that more than grounded theory. The mandate of grounded theory is to develop theories based on people’s lived experiences rather than proving or disproving existing theories.========================================