Less than half an hour before, Colbert had been talking about stress reactions in combat. In addition to the embarrassing loss of bodily control that 25 percent of all soldiers experience, other symptoms include time dilation, a sense of time slowing down or speeding up; vividness, a starkly heightened awareness of detail; randomthoughts, the mind fixating on unimportant sequences; memory loss; and, of course, your basic feelings of sheer terror.
The look on Colbert’s face is almost serene.
I study Person’s face for signs of panic, fear or death. My worry is he’ll get shot or freak out and we’ll be stuck on this street. But Person seems fine. He’s slouched over the wheel, looking through the windshield, an almost blank expression on his face. The only thing different about him is he’s not... (查看原文)
Fick pokeshis head in the window, grinning. “Present for you.” He passes in a small water bottle, filled with about two inches of amber fluid. “LSA,” he says.
“I scammed it off some guys in RCT-1.”
“Sir, not to get homoerotic about this,” Colbert says. “But I couldkiss you.” (查看原文)
Recon Marines like Colbert are in their hearts almost like bird-watchers. They have a passion for observing things that exists all by itself, separate from whatever thrills they get out of guns and blowing things up. They seem truly happy whenever a chance comes to puzzle out the nature of small (but potentially lethal) mysteries on the horizon. (查看原文)
“Many of them have sought my counsel because they feel guilty,”he tells me. “But when I ask them why, they say they feel bad because they haven’t had a chance to fire their weapons. They worry that they haven’t done their jobs as Marines. I’ve had to counsel them that if you don’t have to shoot somebody, that’s a good thing. The zeal these young men have for killing surprises me,” Bodley admits. “It instills in me a sense of disbelief and rage. People here think Jesus is a doormat.”
“Some guys care about advancing in the Marine Corps. Me, I don’t give a fuck. I care about my men being happy, shielding them from the bullshit, and keeping them alive.” He adds, “Guys that believe no orders ever should be questioned are usually the same ones who are too dumb to explain them. They just don’t wa... (查看原文)
I find his self-awareness unsettling. One of the few comforts I havewhen looking at images of distant suffering is the hope that the starving child with flies on his face doesn’t know how pathetic he is. If all he knows is misery, maybe his suffering isn’t as bad. But this farmer has shattered that comforting illusion. He’s wretched, and he knows it.
“This brings me back to my repo days,” Espera says. “Women are always the fiercest.You always have to look out for them. Doesn’t matter if it’s a black bitch in South Central or some rich white bitch in Beverly Hills. They always come after you screaming. Don’t matter if you’ve got a gun. It’s like women think they’re protected.” (查看原文)
