"The word "love" is most often defined as a noun, yet...we would all love to better if we used it as a verb," writes bell hooks as she comes out fighting and on fire in All About Love . Here, at her most provacative and intensely personel, the renowned scholar, cultural critic, and feminist skewers our view of love as romance. In its place she offers a proactive new ethic for ...
"The word "love" is most often defined as a noun, yet...we would all love to better if we used it as a verb," writes bell hooks as she comes out fighting and on fire in All About Love . Here, at her most provacative and intensely personel, the renowned scholar, cultural critic, and feminist skewers our view of love as romance. In its place she offers a proactive new ethic for a people and a society bereft with lovelessness. As bell hooks uses her incisive mind and razor-sharp pen to explode th question "What is love?" her answers strike at both the mind and heart. In thirteen concise chapters, hooks examines her own search for emotional connection and society's failure to provide a model for learning to love. Razing the cultural paradigm that the ideal love is infused with sex and desire, she provides a new path to love that is sacred, redemptive, and healing for the individuals and for a nation. The Utne Reader declared bell hooks one of the "100 Visionaries Who Can Change Your Life." All About Love is a powerful affirmation of just how profoundly she can.
To know love we have to tell the truth to ourselves and to others. Creating a false se lf to mask fears and insecurities has become so common that many of us forget who we are and what we feel underneath the pretense. Breaking through this denial is always the first step in uncovering our longing to be honest and clear. Lies and secrets burden us and cause stress. When an individual has always lied, he has no awareness that truth telling can take away this heavy burden. To know this he must let the lies go. (查看原文)
When feminism first began, women talked openly about our desires to know men better, to love them for who they really are. We talked about our desires to be loved for who we really are (i.e., to be accepted in our physical and spiritual beings rather than feeling we had to make ourselves into a fantasy self to become the object of male desire ). And we urged men to be true to themselves, to express themselves. Then when men began to share their thoughts and fee lings, some women could not cope. They wanted the old lies and pretenses to be back in place. In the seventies, a popular Sylvia greeting card showed a woman seated in front of a fortune-teller gazing into a crystal ball. The caption on the front of the card read: "He never talks about his feelings." On the inside the response was: ... (查看原文)
爱！的！圣！经！给被capitalism fueld hookup culture毁了价值观的年轻人的一剂良药。要去勇敢地打开心扉接受爱、不科学的形而上、被治愈、被改变、付出、痛苦。爱的反面是shame, power (domination), ego and judgment (alienation)。love takes many different forms, romantic love ...爱！的！圣！经！给被capitalism fueld hookup culture毁了价值观的年轻人的一剂良药。要去勇敢地打开心扉接受爱、不科学的形而上、被治愈、被改变、付出、痛苦。爱的反面是shame, power (domination), ego and judgment (alienation)。love takes many different forms, romantic love is only one tiny part. we are built to seek communion. （这本书是在杜塞的书店买的🥹）(展开)
Reading this book strike a lot of resonance in my heart. Also it made me realize it is really a small world Now. The problems related to love, late marriage or self-love etc in Authors' country are all pervasive in our present lives. Besides so many of us i...
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Starting with the definition of love and experiences of her family of origin and adulthood relationships, the first 3 chapters are sharp, lucid, and evocative. I was reading while telling myself that this was the book. Long ago, I had somehow come to see th...
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I imagine how will love be when it happens. I imagine a dimmed room scented with jasmine where we cuddle in storm and rain. I buried my face in your chest and you wrap your arms around me. I imagine myself at my most vulnerable, trembling and kneeling on th...
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mipropiocentro
lightinmedia
中央编译出版社2023版
jessie小刺猬
JuniperH
924599.
几瓣剩下
中央编译出版社2023版
1 有用 mipropiocentro 2024-03-18 12:44:17 加拿大
这本书是关于爱的，用同等的说法，这本书是关于个人意志的。追求人与人之间公正的关系，这是一切连接的基础，所以父权制与爱无法兼得。爱不是丧失自我的cathexis，爱是为自己及所爱之人完成可贵成长的意愿，是一个决定，是自己选择永不休止的努力。爱可以在一切关系里践行，在友情中，在社群中。爱是“我跟一个人有了连接，这个连接让我开始慢慢懂得了爱”。应当学会独处，因为如果学会了独处，我们就不会把他人视为帮助自... 这本书是关于爱的，用同等的说法，这本书是关于个人意志的。追求人与人之间公正的关系，这是一切连接的基础，所以父权制与爱无法兼得。爱不是丧失自我的cathexis，爱是为自己及所爱之人完成可贵成长的意愿，是一个决定，是自己选择永不休止的努力。爱可以在一切关系里践行，在友情中，在社群中。爱是“我跟一个人有了连接，这个连接让我开始慢慢懂得了爱”。应当学会独处，因为如果学会了独处，我们就不会把他人视为帮助自己逃避孤独的工具，就可以有深入坦诚的连接。 (展开)
1 有用 某鬼 2024-05-24 21:36:13 美国
大家从一个共同的operational definition 来讨论，争论，学习“爱”而不是用虚无缥缈的感觉或者放弃定义开始。里面关于爱和关心，感情，责任，承诺，边界的关系和讨论，其实都在各个阶段和不同的人讨论过。
3 有用 Skskwowiwyxnm 2024-07-28 01:15:20 北京
爱！的！圣！经！给被capitalism fueld hookup culture毁了价值观的年轻人的一剂良药。要去勇敢地打开心扉接受爱、不科学的形而上、被治愈、被改变、付出、痛苦。爱的反面是shame, power (domination), ego and judgment (alienation)。love takes many different forms, romantic love ... 爱！的！圣！经！给被capitalism fueld hookup culture毁了价值观的年轻人的一剂良药。要去勇敢地打开心扉接受爱、不科学的形而上、被治愈、被改变、付出、痛苦。爱的反面是shame, power (domination), ego and judgment (alienation)。love takes many different forms, romantic love is only one tiny part. we are built to seek communion. （这本书是在杜塞的书店买的🥹） (展开)
14 有用 艾洛尼的消失 2023-10-14 21:22:15 加拿大
父权制的影响限制了人们对爱情的理解和表达，Hooks则希望我们都能重新评估我们对爱的理解。以现在的视角来看本书或许不算新鲜，但仍然总结得非常精辟。作者认为爱不应该只是感觉，而是一种持续的行动。我们需要改变对爱的定义，不再仅限于传统浪漫电影和情歌中的完美画面。物质主义和消费主义的大行其道导致人们误以为爱情应该始终如此完美，然而真正的爱情需要时间、信任、承诺和相互沟通来繁荣。共同的成长是成功关系的关键... 父权制的影响限制了人们对爱情的理解和表达，Hooks则希望我们都能重新评估我们对爱的理解。以现在的视角来看本书或许不算新鲜，但仍然总结得非常精辟。作者认为爱不应该只是感觉，而是一种持续的行动。我们需要改变对爱的定义，不再仅限于传统浪漫电影和情歌中的完美画面。物质主义和消费主义的大行其道导致人们误以为爱情应该始终如此完美，然而真正的爱情需要时间、信任、承诺和相互沟通来繁荣。共同的成长是成功关系的关键因素，它包括诚实和现实的觉醒。作者还强调传统的性别角色对于成长是障碍，因为它们限制了人们的自由和成长。即便遇到挫折和耻辱，敢于坦诚接受和表达伤痛，我们才能真正走出爱的伤痛。最后，爱不应该是一种孤独的追求，而应该注重社区和相互联系，而不是个人和自恋。书中提到男性从说谎逃避对他人的伤害，实在是鞭辟入里。 (展开)
6 有用 朗塞斯顿的一晚 2021-12-09 15:07:31
“男性学会撒谎是获得权力的一种方式，而女性不仅做同样的事情，而且还通过撒谎来假装无权。哈里特-勒纳在她的作品中谈到了父权制维护欺骗的方式，鼓励女性向男性展示一个虚假的自我，反之亦然。在多莉-霍兰德（Dory Hollander）的《男人对女人说的101个谎言》中，她证实，虽然女人和男人都在撒谎，但她的数据和其他研究人员的发现表明，"男人倾向于更多地撒谎，并带来更多的破坏性后果。" 对于许多年轻男性... “男性学会撒谎是获得权力的一种方式，而女性不仅做同样的事情，而且还通过撒谎来假装无权。哈里特-勒纳在她的作品中谈到了父权制维护欺骗的方式，鼓励女性向男性展示一个虚假的自我，反之亦然。在多莉-霍兰德（Dory Hollander）的《男人对女人说的101个谎言》中，她证实，虽然女人和男人都在撒谎，但她的数据和其他研究人员的发现表明，"男人倾向于更多地撒谎，并带来更多的破坏性后果。" 对于许多年轻男性来说，他们最早的权力体验来自于向更有权力的成年人撒谎并逃脱的快感。很多男性与我分享，如果他们看到真相会伤害所爱的人，他们就很难说出真相。重要的是，许多男孩为了避免伤害妈妈或其他什么人而学会的撒谎变得如此习惯，以至于他们很难区分谎言和真相。这种行为会延续到成年。” (展开)