作者:
Roger Fisher
/
William L. Ury
/
Bruce Patton 出版社: Penguin Books 副标题: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In 出版年: 1991-12-1 页数: 200 定价: USD 16.00 装帧: Paperback ISBN: 9780140157352
This is by far the best thing I've ever read about negotiation. It is equally relevant for the individual who would like to keep his friends, property, and income and the statesman who would like to keep the peace. --John Kenneth Galbraith.
作者简介
· · · · · ·
Roger Fisher is the Samuel Williston Professor of Law Emeritus, Director of the Harvard Negotiation Project, and the founder of two consulting organizations devoted to strategic advice and negotiation training.
William L. Ury co-founded Harvard's Program on Negotiation where he currently directs the Global Negotiation Initiative. He is the author of The Power of a Positive No H...
Roger Fisher is the Samuel Williston Professor of Law Emeritus, Director of the Harvard Negotiation Project, and the founder of two consulting organizations devoted to strategic advice and negotiation training.
William L. Ury co-founded Harvard's Program on Negotiation where he currently directs the Global Negotiation Initiative. He is the author of The Power of a Positive No How to Say No Still Get to Yes (2007) and co-author (with Roger Fisher) of Getting to Yes Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In , a five-million-copy bestseller translated into over twenty languages. "No other book in the field comes close to its impact on the way practitioners, teachers, researchers, and the public approach negotiation," comments the National Institute on Dispute Resolution. Ury is also author of the award-winning Getting Past No Negotiating with Difficult People and Getting To Peace (released in paperback under the title The Third Side).
听的audio book， 听完了完全没印象。反而是作者的TED，那个分阳给我的印象比较深刻。
我记得的大概是：
1. balcony thinking - 大概是气氛不太好的时候，去balcony透下气
2. sometimes it's not what you need to get, also consider the other parties' need
Be aware of independent interests as well as the existence of common interests. Do not assume all other sides have same interests. It is quite usual that same side has inside conflicted interests. Pay attention to basic interests: Security, Economic Well-being, Sense of Belonging, Recognition, Control over one’s life. Do not overvalue economic well being. If you want to other side take your in...
2017-03-26 20:10:101人喜欢
Be aware of independent interests as well as the existence of common interests.
Do not assume all other sides have same interests. It is quite usual that same side has inside conflicted interests.
Pay attention to basic interests: Security, Economic Well-being, Sense of Belonging, Recognition, Control over one’s life.
Do not overvalue economic well being.
If you want to other side take your interest into consideration, talk to them about your interest.
Make your interest alive. Let the other side know how legitimate your interest is. Use detailed, specific descriptions make your statement vivid. Explain the seriousness of your interest.
When it comes to talk about other side's interest, Reasoning first, conclusion second. "Correct me if I am wrong."
Look forward not back. Do not overthink what someone else has said or done. To confirm other side’s view. “They can’t treat me like that”. Determined. Purpose.
Freewill determinism, we can choose to look forward or look back. Instead of talking about last week’s action, performance, talk about what you want to do tomorrow.
Be concrete but flexible. How to develop from interests to options? If the other side agrees with me tomorrow, what do I want they to do actually?
Give support to the other side, attack the problem. This inconsistence will make them want to change their problem.
Ch2 separate people from the problem Why it is impotant to treat people separately and seriously? Because people tend to take problem personally. You may point out certain factual problems, people may think you are picking on them. For example "Are you saying I make a mistake? Are you saying I am being unfair? " Moreover, people are not perfect. They are biased, inconsistent and unpredictable....
2017-03-16 20:47:331人喜欢
Ch2 separate people from the problem
Why it is impotant to treat people separately and seriously?
Because people tend to take problem personally. You may point out certain factual problems, people may think you are picking on them. For example "Are you saying I make a mistake? Are you saying I am being unfair? " Moreover, people are not perfect. They are biased, inconsistent and unpredictable. Thus Negotiators are people first, not abstract representatives from the other side. In a negotiation, you need to as yourself constantly "Am I paying enough attention to the people problem?"
There are three categories to pay attention to.
Perception: People's perceptions are different. You need to know what the other side thinks. Their fears and worries cannot be left aside but rather need to be dealt with. To put yourself into their shoes, to understand them empathetically is an important way to reduce conflicts. Do not simply make assumptions on how bad the other side is or base on our fear. Do not blame. Blame is always counter-productive. If you want them to agree your conclusions, let them involve in the process. Face saving is not a pretentious thing. It is the last barrie to get them agree upon on your case.
Emotion: Be aware of your own feeling. Are you feeling nervous? Listen to the other side carefully and try to feel what they feel. Fearful or nervous.Why? What is producing the emotions? Pay attention to people's core concerns: Consistence, Appreciation, affiliation, role, status. Sense of identity feel threated if you hurt these things. We can talk about emotions and help people release their anger. When you let others release their anger, take control of yourself and listen quietly. Apology is helpful.
Communication: Listen actively.Listen actively and attentively: Did I understand clearly that when you say…Ask when they mean; Ask something to be reframed; Show them you understand it. Repeat it. Make the strength of their case positive. You do grasp what they said. Then talk about their problem constructively.
“就事论事”/“对事不对人” pp 24 three basic categories： perception，emotion， communication pp25 put yourself in their shoes. how uou see thr world depends on where you sit. people tend to see what they want to see. “半杯水”的故事。有人看到还有半杯水，有人看到只剩半杯水。 p27 dont blame them for your problem.
2021-07-25 12:29:34
“就事论事”/“对事不对人”
pp 24 three basic categories： perception，emotion， communication
pp25 put yourself in their shoes. how uou see thr world depends on where you sit. people tend to see what they want to see. “半杯水”的故事。有人看到还有半杯水，有人看到只剩半杯水。
The siginifance of negotiation Negotiation is inevitable if you want to get things done. People are sick of taking orders. So like it or not, you are a negotiator if you want to achieve something. The purpose of negotiation To eliminate conflict is not the goal of negotiation, because you cannot avoid conflict. Moreover, confict is not a bad thing. It may bring prosperity and new hope since dif...
2017-03-15 20:41:00
The siginifance of negotiation
Negotiation is inevitable if you want to get things done. People are sick of taking orders. So like it or not, you are a negotiator if you want to achieve something.
The purpose of negotiation
To eliminate conflict is not the goal of negotiation, because you cannot avoid conflict. Moreover, confict is not a bad thing. It may bring prosperity and new hope since different ideas and norms can meet with each other and generate new possibliities. Negotiation is a way to help us to deal with conflict in a better way.
The problem of soft or hard negotiation
Part one: the problem,
Ch1 do not bargain on the positions
The Criteria of good negotiation:
wise agreement,
efficient,
not damage the relationship/amicably way
Locking into positions makes peoplec attach their egos to the bargain process, which makes them impossible to change positions. They need to Save face and make different parts less and less possible to reconcile disagreement.
4Principles
1. separate the people from the problem (we are not computers, we take positions; taking positions generates resentments ;disentangle from the situation; )
2.interest not positions
3.Invent options( options. Multiple options for mutual gaining; wide range of possible solutions reconcile different interests)
4.establish criteria outcome based on some positive rules (reflect some fair standards: market value, law: defer to a fair solution; objective criteria)
Three steps
· analysis ( know the situation)
· planning (generate ideas, how to handle people problem, realistic criteria)
Ch2 separate people from the problem Why it is impotant to treat people separately and seriously? Because people tend to take problem personally. You may point out certain factual problems, people may think you are picking on them. For example "Are you saying I make a mistake? Are you saying I am being unfair? " Moreover, people are not perfect. They are biased, inconsistent and unpredictable....
2017-03-16 20:47:331人喜欢
Ch2 separate people from the problem
Why it is impotant to treat people separately and seriously?
Because people tend to take problem personally. You may point out certain factual problems, people may think you are picking on them. For example "Are you saying I make a mistake? Are you saying I am being unfair? " Moreover, people are not perfect. They are biased, inconsistent and unpredictable. Thus Negotiators are people first, not abstract representatives from the other side. In a negotiation, you need to as yourself constantly "Am I paying enough attention to the people problem?"
There are three categories to pay attention to.
Perception: People's perceptions are different. You need to know what the other side thinks. Their fears and worries cannot be left aside but rather need to be dealt with. To put yourself into their shoes, to understand them empathetically is an important way to reduce conflicts. Do not simply make assumptions on how bad the other side is or base on our fear. Do not blame. Blame is always counter-productive. If you want them to agree your conclusions, let them involve in the process. Face saving is not a pretentious thing. It is the last barrie to get them agree upon on your case.
Emotion: Be aware of your own feeling. Are you feeling nervous? Listen to the other side carefully and try to feel what they feel. Fearful or nervous.Why? What is producing the emotions? Pay attention to people's core concerns: Consistence, Appreciation, affiliation, role, status. Sense of identity feel threated if you hurt these things. We can talk about emotions and help people release their anger. When you let others release their anger, take control of yourself and listen quietly. Apology is helpful.
Communication: Listen actively.Listen actively and attentively: Did I understand clearly that when you say…Ask when they mean; Ask something to be reframed; Show them you understand it. Repeat it. Make the strength of their case positive. You do grasp what they said. Then talk about their problem constructively.
This chapter introduces a more detailed version of how and why to focus on interest instead of positions. Because focusing on interests can help to reconcile interest. Desires and concerns are interests, which motivate people do what they do. To pay attention to interests si to look behind positions. How? Put youself in other people's shoes People have multiple interest
2017-03-23 20:34:45
This chapter introduces a more detailed version of how and why to focus on interest instead of positions.
Because focusing on interests can help to reconcile interest. Desires and concerns are interests, which motivate people do what they do. To pay attention to interests si to look behind positions.
“就事论事”/“对事不对人” pp 24 three basic categories： perception，emotion， communication pp25 put yourself in their shoes. how uou see thr world depends on where you sit. people tend to see what they want to see. “半杯水”的故事。有人看到还有半杯水，有人看到只剩半杯水。 p27 dont blame them for your problem.
2021-07-25 12:29:34
“就事论事”/“对事不对人”
pp 24 three basic categories： perception，emotion， communication
pp25 put yourself in their shoes. how uou see thr world depends on where you sit. people tend to see what they want to see. “半杯水”的故事。有人看到还有半杯水，有人看到只剩半杯水。
[Getting to Yes] pp5-6 案例： dispute between farmers and the national oil company in Iraq. 采油公司说地属于他们要开采石油，农民说这是我们的田地。双方各不相让差点起武装冲突。采油公司新来的刚学过alternative position bargining的工作人员分别问了农民和采油公司几个问题：“你还有多久收割庄稼？”“你们征用土地后开发计划是什么？”农民回答“六周后就要丰收了，这是我们的全部家当。”采油公司说“开始几个月...
dispute between farmers and the national oil company in Iraq. 采油公司说地属于他们要开采石油，农民说这是我们的田地。双方各不相让差点起武装冲突。采油公司新来的刚学过alternative position bargining的工作人员分别问了农民和采油公司几个问题：“你还有多久收割庄稼？”“你们征用土地后开发计划是什么？”农民回答“六周后就要丰收了，这是我们的全部家当。”采油公司说“开始几个月需要勘测地形规划采油作业区。计划三年左右正式开采。” 双方了解了各自的计划和处境后，调解人又进一步沟通说采油公司开始运营后计划招募当地农民，机械之间的土地仍可作为农田耕种使用。最终双方友好的达成了共识。
In most instances to ask a negotiator, “Who’s winning?” Is as inappropriate as to ask who’s winning a marriage. If you ask that question about your marriage, you have already lost the more important negotiation — the one about what kind of game to play, about the way you deal with each other and your shared and differing interests.
2020-10-10 07:56:54
In most instances to ask a negotiator, “Who’s winning?” Is as inappropriate as to ask who’s winning a marriage. If you ask that question about your marriage, you have already lost the more important negotiation — the one about what kind of game to play, about the way you deal with each other and your shared and differing interests.
引自第148页
Good negotiators rarely resort to threats. They do not need to; there are other ways to communicate the same information. If it seems appropriate to outline the consequences of the other side’s action, suggest those that will occur independently of your will rather than those you could choose to bring about. Warnings are much more legitimate than threats and are not vulnerable to counter threa...
2020-10-10 07:56:27
Good negotiators rarely resort to threats. They do not need to; there are other ways to communicate the same information. If it seems appropriate to outline the consequences of the other side’s action, suggest those that will occur independently of your will rather than those you could choose to bring about. Warnings are much more legitimate than threats and are not vulnerable to counter threats: “Should we fail to reach agreement, it seems highly probably to me that the news media would insist on publishing the whole sordid story. In a matter of this much public interest, I don’t see how we could legitimately suppress information. Do you?”引自第137页
jordanpan
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KentZhu
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0 有用 Sebas 2014-07-24 20:34:47
绝对的好书，值得反复看。
0 有用 清 流 2012-07-06 21:27:37
http://book.douban.com/review/1477739/#comments
3 有用 女文青想回國內 2017-04-16 10:36:40
讀目錄和第一章就可以了..
1 有用 苏库里尤。 2016-02-21 20:01:42
We sabotage ourselves by reacting in the ways that do not serve our interests!这碗“鸡汤”先好好品尝。
5 有用 Ray 2015-04-05 03:03:30
第二遍看这个书。有些书里的内容已经试着在做了。但其实最难的不是谈判本身，而是在于控制个人在谈判时的情绪。技巧再怎么熟练，最终不能用大脑思考也是没有太大意义的。
0 有用 Amy 2022-05-07 21:56:51
当时的老师推荐 @2020-08-18 01:05:26
0 有用 吃太胖会变成猪 2022-03-23 12:15:19
听的audio book， 听完了完全没印象。反而是作者的TED，那个分阳给我的印象比较深刻。 我记得的大概是： 1. balcony thinking - 大概是气氛不太好的时候，去balcony透下气 2. sometimes it's not what you need to get, also consider the other parties' need
0 有用 M0Z0 2022-03-12 14:21:50
negotiations bootcamp要求读的书，后半本skim. principled negotiation
0 有用 桑 2022-01-31 23:05:24
道理很简单，但是列举的例子比较生动
0 有用 李小饼 2022-01-25 06:27:17
Positive manipulation lol 谈判课用书，立马用在督促家属做家务上面！