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* From the introduction to his latest novel
Life is a contest between you and everyone else.
Workshops and seminars are basically financial speed dating for clueless poor people.
TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public.
You can't fake creativity, competence or sexual arousal.
Nobody has ever been happy in a job they obtained by first handing in a resume.
After a week of intense googling, we've starated to burn out on knowing the answer to everything. God must feel that way all the time. I thinkpeople in the year 2020 are going be nostalgic for the sensation of feeling clueless. -- pg. 248
I think computers out to have a key called I'M DRUNK, and when you push it, it prevents you from sending email for twelve hours. -- pg. 386
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