The Power of Full Engagement

注：energy & 精力 used interchangeably. 1. 时间管理没用，精力才是王道。就算你腾出时间陪partner了，可能累得根本不想出去浪什么漫，即使你腾出时间陪孩子了，可能心思根本没在他们身上，没法有高质量的共处时间。真正fundamentally影响你生活的，是你怎样管理你的精力。2. 人们一直worship时间，从不重视精力，因为时间的有限属性显而易见，换句话说，我们都默认精力就是无限的，取之不尽用之不竭。事实上呢？精力是一种capacity. 如果你overuse, 你会exhausted, 如果你underuse, 你的energy capacity一样会降低。这个capacity是需要maintain的，也是可以通过训练增强的。3. 怎样maintain？我们常说人生就是马拉松。但是你去瞅瞅长跑运动员跑步的样子！再去看看短跑运动员跑步时候的姿态！不想当flat liner，想象短跑运动员一样强健有力量，那就要把人生当做一系列的短跑----每一段都fully engage, 然后再fully disengage, 彻底的休息，恢复，renew你的精力，再回来面对下一个挑战。----把自己当做一个运动员一样生活，这个比喻很形象。typical athlete每年高强度高压训练几个月，然后剩下几个月彻底的休假。不幸的是，我们往往把需要休息视作是一种weakness, 一种无能，殊不知，那其实是维护持久精力的必不可少的一个环节。反观自己，中午回家吃饭睡午觉都觉得是浪费时间，恨不得一天从早到晚的在办公室里non-stop的工作，以每天工作10小时为目标，时间少了就开始自责...这是错把时间投入放在第一位而忽视了精力投入的典型表现。按照此书作者的观点，明智的做法应该是：上午集中精力的工作几个小时后，开开心心回家，充分的休息，下午再精神抖擞的继续工作几个小时，晚上再回家彻底放松。----4. 怎样增强？想想你是怎么增强你的肌肉的。训练的时候stress不可避免，但是经过24小时的休息，肌肉能够承受的刺激将会更强。energy也是一样。一般人面对一点点的discomfort都会跑，害怕stress，但其实stress正是key to growth. 要增强你的精力capacity, 就要systematically go beyond your normal level. 5. 精力的前两种：physical energy 分高低，emotional energy分积极消极，对应2*2四种可能。我看了下那四象限图，像我这种low in physical, negative in emotional的，还真就是depressed, burn-out, hopeless, defeated. 一点儿没错。理想的状态？自然是high positive. 想象一下你如果在做手术，你希望你的大夫是一个什么样的状态就知道了----体力充沛，自信，upbeat. 6. 建立Highly specific routines. (更强调一点，叫Rituals！仪式！) 为啥？We are creatures of habits. 如果一个行为每次做都要用意志力，要consciously想到才能做的话，你不可能持续做很久。不信你去看你做的好的事情，一定是某种习惯的产物。这一点是老生常谈了，不过我非常非常认同，所以也搬上来。quote一段某位很受欧洲人欢迎的宗教领袖（敏感人物）的话。''There isn't anything that isn't made easier through constant familiarity and training. Through training we can change; we can transform ourselves.''

We grow at all levels by expending energy beyond our normal limits, and then recovering.

Roger didn't think much about the long-term consequences of his choices largely because he didn't have a vision of what he wanted from life or where he was headed. The result was that all of his energy systems were compromised.The irony is that self-absorption ultimately drains energy and impedes performance. The more preoccupied we are with our own fears and concerns, the less energy we have available to take positive action.He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how. --- NietzscheIt did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us.The one thing the illness has convinced me of beyond all doubt—more than any experience I've had as an athlete—is that we are much better than we know. We have unrealized capacities that sometimes only emerge in crisis. So if there is a purpose to the suffering that is cancer, I think it must be this: it's meant to improve us. --- Lance ArmstrongThe things that keep us from finding meaning are failure to actively engage in life and a certain laziness or lack of caring that allows us to let others make our decisions and tell us what things mean."Many of our clients blame their work environments for their unhappiness and their absence of passion. But it is not necessarily the nature of the job that determines how meaningful and motivating it is. The challenge we all face is to find ways to use the workplace as a forum in which to express and embody our deepest values. We can derive a sense of purpose, for example, from mentoring others, or being part of a cohesive team, or simply from a commitment to treating others with respect and care and from communicating positive energy. The real measure of our lives may ultimately be in the small choices we make in each and every moment.So long as we skim across the surface of our lives at high speeds, it is impossible to dig down more deeply. People cannot move horizontally and vertically at the same time. When clients come through our program, one of our aims is to help them slow down, to put aside their preoccupations and their pressing demands for long enough to step back and take a look at the choices they are making. It is no coincidence that every enduring spiritual tradition has emphasized practices such as prayer, retreat, contemplation and meditation—all means by which to quietly connect with and regularly revisit what matters most. You might begin your own inquiry very simply by giving some thought to the following question: "Is the life I am living worth what I am giving up to have it?"More often, self-deception is unconscious and provides short-term relief while prompting long-term costs. At the most basic level, we deceive ourselves in order to protect our self-esteem—our image of who we are or wish to be.Projection is an especially insidious defense against facing the truth—one that often lies at the heart of evil. It involves attributing one's own unacknowledged impulses to others. We often see anger or hatred or arrogance or greed in those around us, rather than fully owning these same feelings in ourselves.Robert Assagioli puts it, we may move from a feeling of "I am overwhelmed by my anxiety" to the more dispassionate "My anxiety is trying to overwhelm me." In one, we are victims. In the other, we have the power to make choices and take action.We spend vast quantities of energy worrying about people and situations over which we have no control.

• Mental capacity is what we use to organize our lives and focus our attention. • The mental energy that best serves full engagement is realistic optimism—seeing the world as it is, but always working positively towards a desired outcome or solution. • The key supportive mental muscles include mental preparation, visualization, positive self-talk, effective time management and creativity. • Changing channels mentally permits different parts of the brain to be activated and facilitates creativity. • Physical exercise stimulates cognitive capacity. • Maximum mental capacity is derived from a balance between expending and recovering mental energy. • When we lack the mental muscles we need to perform at our best, we must systematically build capacity by pushing past our comfort zone and then recovering. • Continuing to challenge the brain serves as a protection against age-related mental decline.