while I spent so many hours on things that meant absolutely nothing to me personally: movie stars, supermodels, the latest noise out of Princess Di or Madonna or John F. Kennedy, Jr. In a strange way, I envied the quality of Morrie’s time even as I lamented its diminishing supply.
So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.
I thought about all the people I knew who spent many of their waking hours feeling sorry for themselves. How useful it would be ... (查看原文)
For all that was happening to him,his voice was strong and inviting,and his mind was vibrating with a million thoughts.He was intent on proving that the word "dying" was not synonymous with "useless".
When a collegue at Brandeis died suddenly of a heart attack,Morrie went to his funeral.He came home depressed.
"What a waste,"he said."All those people saying all those wonderful things,and Irv never got to hear any of it."
"Accept what you are able to do and what you are not able to do"; "Accept the past as past,without denying it or discarding it";"Learn to forgive yourself and to forgive others";"Don't assume that it's too late to get involved."
"Dying," Morrie suddenly said,"is only one thing to be sad over,Mitch.Living unhappily is something else.So many of the people who come to visit ... (查看原文)
"All this emphasis on youth--I don't buy it,"he said."Listen,I know what a misery being young can be,so don't tell me it's so great.All these kids who came to me with their struggles,their stife,their feelings of inadequacy,their sense that life was miserable,so bad they wanted to kill themselves.
"And,in addition to all the miseries,the young are not wise.They have vey little understanding about life.Who wants to live every day when you don't know what's going on?When people are manipulating you,telling you to buy this perfume and you'll be beautiful,or this pair of jeans and you'll be sexy--and you believe them!It's such nonsense."
Weren't you ever afraid to grow old,I asked.
"Mitch,I embrace aging."
Embarce it?
"It's very simple.As you grow,you learn more.If you stayed at 22,you'd al... (查看原文)
"It is impossible for the old not to envy the young.But the issue is to accept who you are and revel in that.This is your time to be in your thirties.I had my time to be in my thirties,and now is my time to be seventy-eight.
"You have to find what's good and true and beautiful in your life as it is now.Looking back makes you competitive.And,age is not a competitive issue."
He exhaled and lowered his eyes,as if to watch his breath scatter into the air.
"The truth is,part of me is every age.I'm a three-year-old,I'm a five-year-old,I'm a thirty-seven-year-old,I'm a fifty-year-old.I've been through all of them,and I know what it's like.I delight in being a child when it's appropriate to be a child.I delight in being a wise old man when it's appropriate to be a wise old man.Think of all I c... (查看原文)
"Part of the problem,is that everyone is in such a hurry,"Morrie said."People haven't found meaning in their lives,so they're running all the time looking for it.They think the next car,the next house,the next job.Then they find those things are empty,too,and they keep running."
Once you start running,I said,it's hard to slow yourself down.
"Not so hard,"he said,shaking his head."Do you know what I do?When someone wants to get ahead of me in traffic--when I used to be able to drive--I would raise my hand..."
He tried to do this now,but the hand lifted weakly,only six inches.
"...I would raise my hand,as if I was going to make a negative gesture,and then I would wave and smile.Instead of giving them the finger,you let me go,and you smile.
"You know what?A lot of times they smiled back.T... (查看原文)
Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel.And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too---even when you're in the dark.Even when you're falling. (查看原文)
"Whenever people ask me about having children or not having children, I never tell them what to do,"Morrie said now, looking at a photo of his oldest son."I simply say,"There is no substitute for it. You cannot do it with a friend. You cannot do it with a lover.If you want the experience of having complete responsibility for another human being, and to learn how to love and bond in the deepest way, then you should have children." (查看原文)
"Remember what I said about finding a meaningful life? I wrote it down, but now I can recite it: Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning." (查看原文)
"It's not just other people we need to forgive,Mitch," He finally whispered. We also need to forgive ourselves."
Ourselves?
"Yes. For all the things we didn't do. All the things we should have done. You can't get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened. That doesn't help you when you get to where I am."
"I always wished I had done more with my work; I wished I had written more books. I used to beat myself over it. Now I see that never did any good. Make peace.You need to make peace with yourself and everyone around you." (查看原文)
"Do the kinds of things that come from the heart.When you do, you won't be dissatisfied, you won't be envious, you won't be longing for somebody else's things. On the contrary, you'll be overwhelmed with what comes back. (查看原文)
