Beyond Motherhood

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• Every time I watched the parade of Snuglis down the avenues, I felt like an outsider to the main preoccupation of my generation. People my age seemed happily obsessed with the accoutrements and activities of parenthood, and my life seemed radically different from theirs. There were times when I felt painfully alienated from my dearest friends, who now as parents, despite all we still had in common, inhabited a world I did not want to share. They sang its praises and either didn’t appear to be oppressed by its constraints, or denied or suppressed any misgivings. They got up early and went to bed early and, of necessity, had less time for me. In my own as well as other people’s eyes, the action I contemplated branded me as different, forced me into nonconformity that derived not from a wish... (查看原文)

  七日狐狸 2015-11-10 13:58:04

• The price of my mother’s total devotion was my fidelity. As a result, I never felt that my emotional life was entirely my own. I always had to consider her and, if I didn’t, deal with the consequences in our relationship or in my feelings about myself - I became selfish, ungrateful, even cruel, in both our eyes. The only way to relate to my mother was to be part of her. I was the bearer of her destiny, the meaning of her life. Being the reciprocal center of each other’s universe meant that going my own way, when it was irrelevant or opposed to her wishes, could only register as abandonment or betrayal. No other allegiance could be countenanced; she once accused me, with real pain, of preferring my friends to her. Remarkably, she adored my husband. He was the first man in my life she whole... (查看原文)

  七日狐狸 2015-11-10 13:58:53