Popular wisdom might suggest that jealousy is an inevitable outcome of non-monogamous relationships. In Love’s Refraction, Jillian Deri explores the distinctive question of how and why polyamorists – people who practice consensual non-monogamy – manage jealousy. Her focus is on the polyamorist concept of “compersion” – taking pleasure in a lover’s other romantic and sexual enco...
Popular wisdom might suggest that jealousy is an inevitable outcome of non-monogamous relationships. In Love’s Refraction, Jillian Deri explores the distinctive question of how and why polyamorists – people who practice consensual non-monogamy – manage jealousy. Her focus is on the polyamorist concept of “compersion” – taking pleasure in a lover’s other romantic and sexual encounters.
By discussing the experiences of queer, lesbian, and bisexual polyamorous women, Deri highlights the social and structural context that surrounds jealousy. Her analysis, making use of the sociology of emotion and feminist intersectionality theory, shows how polyamory challenges traditional emotional and sexual norms.
Clear and concise, Love’s Refraction speaks to both the academic and the polyamorous community. Deri lets her interviewees speak for themselves, linking academic theory and personal experiences in a sophisticated, engaging, and accessible way.
The experience and expression of jealousy tends to be influenced also by socialization of gendered feeling rules. In his study of evolutionary psychology, for example, Buss (2000) argues that heterosexual men are inclined to respond with jealousy to a partner’s (feared or real) sexual interactions with another, whereas heterosexual women tend to become jealous because of a partner’s emotional attachment to another person. The discrepancy is explained by evolutionary developments of men’s emphasis on paternity insecurity of a potential child, while women, as a result of a more significant physical investment, are concerned with the future emotional and material support of their mate. Buss also found that gay men find emotional unfaithfulness more challenging, yet there was no difference bet... (查看原文)
“Queers do not have the luxury of leading an unexamined life ... And so it is for those of us who are sexually strange in some way.” According to Heaphy, Donovan, and Weeks (2004), an unintended benefit of the historical exclusion of gays and lesbians from institutionalized marriage is that gays and lesbians have had ample opportunity to question the institution of marriage. Through this reflexive critique, they have created relationship alternatives to the mainstream that often better reflect their chosen sexual expression, with a renewed importance given to pleasure, as opposed to an obligation to fulfill the expectations of others (ibid.). These creative alternatives include open relationships, the emotional dimension of polyamory, and the pursuit of compersion. (查看原文)
0 有用 鱼雷 2018-08-18 23:22:59
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