这本书早在国外就火了起来,刚读完时觉得作者tara的经历太过神奇,令人无法相信。我找到她哥哥在亚马逊上的表态,感觉tara在写这本书时不是多多少少撒了谎就是回忆错乱,精神有问题,要不就是一个很会对自己包装的精明人。她哥哥的回应中,他们的父母都上过一年制大学并注重孩子的教育,Tyler听从父亲的建议修学了工程学,毕业论文也是向父亲寻求帮助,给予的启发。他还提到,关于他的经历,tara所叙述关于他的的经历是“greatly incorrect”的。总之我认为Tara不是病态写作就是刻意捏造写作。No offense
即使这样,她的书当作小说也是很不错的。
下面附上Tyler在amazon的回应内容,各位仁者见仁,智者见智吧。
豆瓣人均985,211我就不给翻译了
“Good message, although some supporting information isn't fully accurate -Tyler W.
ByAmazon Customeron February 26, 2018
Format: Hardcover|Verified Purchase
First, let me identify myself. I am Tyler Westover, brother number three in this book. Reading through other comments, it is clear that the book has become very controversial. A natural tendency when we encounter someone that we disagree strongly with is to attempt to dehumanize those individuals into foul monsters. We see this behavior regularly in politics as well as in arguments over land and other natural resources. My purpose in writing this review is not to try to prove either side wrong; rather, it is to “humanize” the people on both sides, while also providing a partial perspective that people on both sides of the argument may be able to agree with. Several concerns prevent this from being a full perspective.
I will start by quoting an email that I sent to Tara on Feb. 21, 2016. I still mostly feel the same way. Here are excerpts from the note that I sent:
“Overall, I like the book and wish that we could all understand it. It not only contains important messages, but the writing style and descriptions are captivating. … I could add a number of details on Part 1: Idaho. For your earlier memories, I was old enough to have access to more information, and I could clarify. I am not sure that I would recommend changing your text much, though, because my additions would also add complications. Usually in reports of scientific and engineering projects we follow what is known as the "80/20 rule," which is that reports focus on key messages and points and deliberately leave out seemingly contradictory or excessively complicated information for general audiences. The fact is that practically no-one can understand all of the details in a complicated situation, and focusing on the underlying themes is generally best unless the audience has specific need to try to grasp the details. I think that you did well following the 80/20 rule. If you like I could send clarifying notes that you could include in an appendix or as publication notes. As you mention, we have different memories and different perceptions of the same events, and I recognize that if you try to include my version, it will likely interfere with your clean narrative.”
Some elements in the book have been misinterpreted from the way that Tara likely intended, and I think that some things Tara misunderstood herself. Because education is a primary theme of the book, I will offer a different perspective on that topic here. In writing this alternate perspective, I do not intend to convey that Tara’s interpretation of events is wholly in error. Our parents are extremists, and they and other members of our family have done terrible things that have hurt Tara. There is no doubt there was abuse, neglect, and other awful choices. Those events are described in Tara’s book, and I will not add new comments about those events here. I was removed quite far from the family when most of those events took place, and for the most part they are not entirely clear in my mind. As indicated above, I intend to restrict my narrative here to my personal experiences or actual events for which I have clear accounts that I expect will generate little disagreement from other individuals who were involved.
As Tara describes, our father is very suspicious of the government. At one point, he told us, his children, that he was concerned someone from the government could come to our home and gun shots could be fired. Nothing he ever said, however, led me to believe that this concern was connected with our homeschool. Instead, he referenced Charlton Hesston’s sentiment that the only way the government would get his guns would be from his “cold dead hands.” To expand a little further, our father also said that he did not think that the government would send local law enforcement or even federal agents to take guns away from law-abiding U.S. citizens. He considered it more likely that such a task would have to be fulfilled by troops from the United Nations. It should also be noted that the guns in question did not include high capacity, semi-automatic rifles, such as have been used in mass shootings or are designed for intense combat. I have never seen our father with such a weapon, and as far as I know, he has never owned one.
Regarding higher education, many readers of the book have concluded that Tara attended formal higher education against apparently insurmountable odds. Perhaps it is not that surprising after all. Of the seven children in our family, six of them attended formal higher education classes (Luke is the only one who has not, and as described in Tara’s book, classroom education is not really his thing). In addition, both our mother “Faye” and our father “Gene” attended at least one year of university classes each. Our mother frequently encouraged me from a young age to prepare to attend university classes by the time I was sixteen. On the other hand, our father has expressed great dissatisfaction with the hubris associated with university education as well as its bias toward liberal thinking.
Observing people around me, it seemed that university degrees actually helped very few people in our community. Most individuals that I knew of returned to work on their family’s farm after getting a degree. Those that did not return, I really didn’t know about. Without being able to perceive a direct benefit from a university degree, I did not initially consider higher education very seriously. Our father was actually the person who first gave me a specific purpose to get a university degree. He told me that if I got an engineering degree, then I could provide engineering stamps for building and bridge designs for the family construction business. Our dad mostly created his own designs for sheds and other custom structures that his business built, but sometimes he had to have his designs stamped by a professional engineer. If I became a professional engineer, not only could I stamp our designs, but I could probably also be more flexible in the design to save additional costs in fabrication materials. The idea captured my interest, but I was concerned about being able to finish an engineering degree. At the time, I was about sixteen, and four years of classes in a university seemed like a very long time. Neither of my parents had actually graduated. I considered that the only way to make sure that I could graduate would be to win a four-year full-tuition scholarship; at length, that is what I determined to do. Tara was correct that my father often fought me to go to work rather than study.
Part of the application for the scholarship that I wanted (a Trustee’s scholarship at BYU) required writing an essay response to a quote by Blaise Pascal. Again it was our father who provided the best advice on how to approach the essay. He suggested that I spend a full day in the library at Utah State University to read all I could about Blaise Pascal to find the context of the quote and perhaps additional complementary quotes. I followed my father’s advice and won the scholarship. Years later as I was finishing a bachelor’s degree in engineering at BYU, Purdue University offered me a fellowship for graduate school. I was excited to go but also very hesitant. It was important to me that I marry someone who shared my religious beliefs, and that seemed much less probable in Indiana than in Utah. After much deliberation and hearing some negative stories about graduate school in far-away places, I had almost decided to turn down Purdue’s offer and stay in Utah. Before I made my final decision, though, I consulted my parents for their advice. They both recommended that I go to Purdue. I particularly remember my father’s advice. He told me not to let fear of the future cause me to miss such a great opportunity. With that reassurance, I decided to go, and after five years, I earned a Ph.D. from Purdue.
Undoubtedly, Tara’s experience talking about higher education with our parents was much different than mine. After reading a memoir, I would hope that readers have new questions about their understanding of the events and people being scrutinized rather than feeling confident that their understanding is now sufficient to render accurate judgment. Every person involved has their own paradigm and experiences.
Postscript Note: I have received some negative comments on the review above from people who think that I am trying to impose my experiences on Tara. That really is not my intention. In her book, in numerous places, Tara interprets for me and other members of my family things that we did, said, thought, and even felt. I cannot speak for the other members of my family, but in my case I think in many instances she greatly incorrectly conveyed my experiences. In the interest of a balanced viewpoint, it seems that I should at least attempt to share a part of my perspective, while still supporting her as much as I can. I do recognize this is her memoir, and she describes her experiences from her paradigm. However, it seems reasonable for me to explain my perspective and outline events that demonstrate the validity of my perspective, in my review."
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首先,男性也会撒谎。其次,站在他哥哥的角度,他是否能理解Tara是很存疑的。男性在那样的家庭中明显更安全,他看不到很多Tara所经历的事情。
我觉得不意外,我妈和我舅对我外公的描述,简直一个天使一个魔鬼😗
其实只是每个人的视角不同,哥哥也说了只是分享他的视角,单单从哥哥的发言去说塔拉是半个骗子也太。。。他最后删了评论恐怕也是不想引起太多互相攻击的争议。仔细读完这本书,我能感到塔拉的那种成长与挣扎,她的情感与她视角发生的事交织到一起才不会让我感到突兀,反倒是感到真实。关于有些回忆好像很奇怪,我不知道是不是版本不同内容会有变化,但我读的版本中,最后塔拉有提到说时间跨度很大,有些事她比较模糊,在写的时候有和哥哥们一起回忆一些事,发现和他们的记忆不一样。时间一长,留在脑海中的只会是记忆深刻的部分其余一些由大脑修饰补充而成,本就如此。
作者父母几十年的思想是在不断激进的,大儿子们小时候上过学接受过社会化的教育,几个小孩的儿时记忆塑造和大孩子们是必定不同的。然后tara是女孩,tyler没有经历过她那种每时每刻本性都在和教义还有父亲教诲的斗争,这种思想的扭曲我想一定程度上也会影响她对过往的回忆。另外tyler没有完全脱离家庭,他和tara其实都还有一定程度上对父亲的崇拜(他支持的是tara控诉的直接对象是shawn)
从她哥哥的这些话并不能看出tara骗人吧,她哥哥只是强调每个人看到的不一样,这本书只能代表tara对所有人的看法和理解(可能带有一定的主观性)
太长了没看完,不过书里的故事确实有点太夸张的感觉,不是真事,起码还算有感人的能量,当小说看也不错,有的细节确实有点不够有信服力。
这就解释了很多问题
很有用
感谢分享
其实只是每个人的视角不同,哥哥也说了只是分享他的视角,单单从哥哥的发言去说塔拉是半个骗子也太。。。他最后删了评论恐怕也是不想引起太多互相攻击的争议。仔细读完这本书,我能感到塔拉的那种成长与挣扎,她的情感与她视角发生的事交织到一起才不会让我感到突兀,反倒是感到真实。关于有些回忆好像很奇怪,我不知道是不是版本不同内容会有变化,但我读的版本中,最后塔拉有提到说时间跨度很大,有些事她比较模糊,在写的时候有和哥哥们一起回忆一些事,发现和他们的记忆不一样。时间一长,留在脑海中的只会是记忆深刻的部分其余一些由大脑修饰补充而成,本就如此。
从她哥哥的这些话并不能看出tara骗人吧,她哥哥只是强调每个人看到的不一样,这本书只能代表tara对所有人的看法和理解(可能带有一定的主观性)
人的记忆就是会产生偏差的
作者自己本人也明确的表明了呀,而且人的记忆本来就是被扭曲了的,特别是记忆越痛苦就越发会被大脑加工。
对啊,而且她说很多她也忘了,实在别人的帮助下一点点拼凑起来的。
作者父母几十年的思想是在不断激进的,大儿子们小时候上过学接受过社会化的教育,几个小孩的儿时记忆塑造和大孩子们是必定不同的。然后tara是女孩,tyler没有经历过她那种每时每刻本性都在和教义还有父亲教诲的斗争,这种思想的扭曲我想一定程度上也会影响她对过往的回忆。另外tyler没有完全脱离家庭,他和tara其实都还有一定程度上对父亲的崇拜(他支持的是tara控诉的直接对象是shawn)
这本书就是拖 作者胡编乱造的屎
搞半天她哥哥居然还是Purdue 毕业的工程学博士……
首先,男性也会撒谎。其次,站在他哥哥的角度,他是否能理解Tara是很存疑的。男性在那样的家庭中明显更安全,他看不到很多Tara所经历的事情。
这就有意思了,,
不觉得她哥哥的叙述invalidate了她的叙述,她自己也在书里说了,她几个哥哥对于父亲的感想和她很不一样,看到父亲年轻时的照片,几个哥哥觉得爸爸就是这样,而她觉得很不可思议。而且在她哥哥小时候他们都去上过学,只是后来她父亲越发偏执之后才发生转变的。
再者,同样的父母对待不同的子女很大可能是不一样的,而且这里性别也不一样。她哥哥说的他爸爸支持他读书并且也读过一年大学,跟她爸爸觉得她这个女的不用读书在家服务好男人的事业有任何关联吗?
最后再说这篇review的目的“My purpose in writing this review is not to try to prove either side wrong; rather, it is to “humanize” the people on both sides, while also providing a partial perspective that people on both sides of the argument may be able to agree with. ”,看完这个还要说tara是半个骗子那我无话可说
我之前就看过Tyler的这篇评论。读完的判断是,这篇评论更加支持了Tara的自述的真实性,连温和的哥哥都无法否认也只能轻描淡写、避而不谈。例如家暴部分,Tyler的写法在我看来就是肯定了存在家暴了。(结合多个其他评论以及Tara的描述方式,我个人判断应该还有强暴/类性压迫行为)
我觉得不意外,我妈和我舅对我外公的描述,简直一个天使一个魔鬼😗
tara描述的很婉转,但是我感觉到,一定有性暴力的存在。这就是为什么tara后期一度精神崩溃。如果只是暴力,她不会对于异性接触这么排斥。
生在这种原生家庭真是种灾难。她完成了自我救赎,我觉得也不用感谢她有毒的原生家庭,深深伤害了她的人,应该感谢自己和真爱她,帮助她的人。
男男相助
你不爱看为啥还到处评论骂人啊 不理解 不爱看别看
看李靓蕾的小作文就可以知道每个人的经历和视角都不一样
这本书是tara的回忆罢了,书本身也是叫做 a memoir。视角不同,记忆不同,就等于有人撒谎了吗?下结论不要太武断。
以及,“病态写作”或“刻意捏造”这种泼脏水的话,no offense?
如果作者有捏造或者夸大到离谱的内容,她家人肯定把作者告上法庭了吧,反正已经断绝来往了。特别是各种虐待她的哥哥。就算是化名,亲戚朋友肯定也知道写的是谁啊。
看到肖恩的那些暴力行为,其实有联想到《隐谷路》描写的那个家庭里兄长对妹妹们的家暴和性侵,一模一样的精神疾病,一模一样的家长对儿子的袒护,一模一样的受伤害女儿经历大量自我怀疑。我在看书的时候其实没get到性侵的可能性,但看到你的评论,再回想肖恩说的话和《隐谷路》,细思极恐……
要不要起这种哗众取宠的标题……
角度身份不一样。就像我和我的三个姐妹们在历数父母年轻时候对我们的轻视和怠慢…我弟弟作为一个我们家唯一的大学生说,别人家的姐姐妹妹还给弟弟买房买车呢,我们都没有逼你们供养我。讽刺。
哥哥的留言主要在说“父母有鼓励我的教育(i.e.他们没那么坏)”,在我看来完全不能看成是反证。塔拉看到的是她的真相,哥哥看到了他的。有没有可能,这种性别上看到的不同历史,正是塔拉的书如此痛切地要传达的呢?有没有可能,这两方面都是真的?有没有可能,这本书的主要价值,不在于这些鸡毛蒜皮谁假谁真,而在于一个人怎么从这些鸡毛蒜皮中徐徐起身,找到自己?
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈
对的,哥哥的写法很是避重就轻粉饰太平,通篇就是补充一些他身上的经历和对父母的其他看法,但并不是否认发生在tara身上的事。
代入一下那个 请回答1988 里的德善和宝拉的分别视角
我想知道后续呢,塔拉有没有作出回应
如果妹妹和哥哥都说的是实话,那么可以说明父母重男轻女思想如此严重
這個哥哥的說法怎麼看怎麼在避重就輕,側面證實了很多事情
书中说过,她父亲是后来才性情大变,在她几个哥哥眼中的父亲和她眼中的是很不一样的。
这本书前面还写着“献给泰勒”,泰勒就是这位了。敢情这哥哥不支持她啊。
因为泰勒和父母灵魂一样,而作者和父母灵魂不一样,所以父母对泰勒支持多点,不怕他翅膀硬了因为他就是工科博士世界观人生观仍然是父母那一套,对作者更多打压,因为感受到她的不一样感受到她的反骨和不认同。
我觉得他父母曾经表达过支持她哥哥上学,和不让她上学,完全可以理解。
他父母也没有很支持,一直让他哥哥去工作,而不是学习。就是后来哥哥咨询他们的时候,他们同意了。
最重要的,我们看全书,哥哥的妻子曾经说过,花了好多年才说服哥哥让孩子们打疫苗因为他相信是医疗公司的阴谋。外婆葬礼的时候,泰勒和妻子生了7个孩子,决定在家上学。
这时候,泰勒完全是普渡大学工科博士了!是名校工科!博士!他之前大学上的也是伯明翰大学机械工程。就在他咨询自己要不要去普渡大学的时候。
工科!机械工程!!
也就是说,泰勒就算工科博士,灵魂上仍然是父母那套。
而作者读的是文科,在没有上大学前,就对肖恩对哥哥对父母产生困扰。
泰勒灵魂上是父母那套,他就是读书了也是父母那套世界观,仍然在父母掌控之中。
作者灵魂上不属于父母那套,他就是没怎么上学也不是全然信奉父母那套。
这种差异,父母感受得到。
孩子也感受得到。
所以父母会支持泰勒去读书,去外地,他们知道他读书后也还是那套世界观人生观,那套生活方式。去外地读了工科博士也是不打疫苗生7个孩子在家读书。
所以父母强烈打压作者,他们知道她不是全然信奉,知道她不是那么认同。
也所以泰勒会在上学时咨询父母,他也能感受到父母对他的放心和支持,知道父母会为他考虑。
所以作者不去咨询父母,他从来就没感受到父母对他的放心,他也从来没有感受到那种父母和她可以好好商量的气氛。
当年,他妈和他爸一拍即合,外婆和姨妈和舅舅,几十年来从来没有赞同。他爸说的话对外婆对奶奶,对姨妈舅舅就没效。为什么? 灵魂上不一样。他妈和他爸虽然性别不同,出生条件不同,但灵魂一样。
还有,几十年后,姨妈和舅舅因为外婆葬礼一见到作者,就对作者友好,因为一接触就感受到作者和他妈不一样。
是的。她后期有一段精神崩溃 ,说的很清楚,她重刷了个世界观。而他哥哥显然没有!!依旧是和他父亲共生关系的巨婴。尤其是那种摆脱不了的效忠!!
还有一点,就是泰勒虽然受过哥哥肖恩的欺负,但是男孩受男孩欺负,和塔拉作为妹妹所受到的那种控制和侮辱,那种甚至带有性虐待意味的暴力,是不一样的。在塔拉的人生里,她被肖恩虐待是非常浓重的阴影。
写的好棒!
看的时候也一度觉得!
对,赞同。泰勒上面原话是他说的是一些事情塔拉说的和他想传达的不符,是一些事件,然后被楼主断章取义为所有关于泰勒的经历都是完全不准确的,泰勒说至少他爸爸是和他争执过让他去废料场工作而非考大学,还有泰勒承认他们家存在虐待,还有忽视等负性事件,至少这些是真的。
还有父亲支持泰勒教育,泰勒是男性啊,塔拉作为女性是不是跟泰勒一样也被支持去上学,这不一定啊 所以为什么塔拉从原生家庭脱离更难,有一部分也是因为她是女性,受家庭和父权影响更深
天,弟弟咋说出这种话!
男人永远无法理解女性所接受的性暴力,另外也会有一堆所谓的面子要维护
看了真实人物的回应我也思考了一下,但还是认为书中塔拉的感受和经历是真实的——毕竟几次受伤事件客观存在,确实也不去医院(这就够离谱了好吧),泰勒也承认父母是极端教徒,那在此基础上 理解和感受到的经历就是出于事实,并且因人而异了。
我想强调的是塔拉的童年 几个哥哥已经独立出去了,能知道的事情并不多。并且父母理念也在变化——哥哥们是有社会化教育的,到了几个小孩子才更加极端。
而且不同性别的感受就是可能截然不同,不同年龄的接受度也不一样(大人的一点态度和行为就能让孩子的天塌了)。比如现在男性依旧对女性的不安全感,被尾随被骚扰甚至被强奸被杀害,无法感同身受。
我想哥哥们不会因为露了胳膊被叫妓女荡妇羞辱,或者被其他兄弟打 担心家庭暴力吧?因为他们有身体力量优势 没那么担心暴力。但塔拉就是反抗不了shawn的家暴,可能加害者说是玩笑的暴力都是女性深深恐惧并且无法挣扎和反抗的。就像开玩笑需要对方觉得好笑一样,一切也要听受害者的感受——她们是怎么恐惧挣扎的。
只要描述的客观事件是真的,真的有虐待 受伤 不去医院,那就不可以指责作者是个骗子,她的感受是她切肤之痛啊,其他孩子不理解、父母不理解,也不能把她的经历和感受抹杀。
说到底她家是摩门教,建议大家了解下摩门教,有一夫多妻的历史,并且要不停生孩子的,没看到她家和泰勒家都七个孩子吗,家庭成员的思想就是偏极端宗教,我们要共鸣也是和塔拉吧,我不觉得像哥哥这样家里孩子还是不上学家庭教育 因为疫苗争论的视角,对于我们世俗人判断塔拉的经历有决定性的帮助
很好的链接
1.父母对男和女的态度就很不同,父亲针对塔拉受教育很多次就是说女性应该在厨房/女性应该进入婚姻甚至成为一夫多妻的妻子之一
2.泰勒离开的时候母亲还存有理智,而父亲的双相还没发展到后期那么疯魔的情况,到后面整个家庭环境都很toxic
3.父母在针对理查德获得教育的态度上与针对塔拉的又截然不同,父亲甚至很高兴理查德能够去上大学还引以为傲
4.在书末塔拉也直言了这本书并不是为了挑起争端或者针对宗教/群体的攻击,这本书只是她认清自己的过程,所以和tyler的描述并不冲突
Ai翻译:
好评,尽管部分佐证信息不够完全准确 ——泰勒·W
**亚马逊客户** 发表于2018年2月26日
**版本:精装本 | 已确认购买**
首先请允许我表明身份。我是泰勒·韦斯特弗(Tyler Westover),书中的三哥。浏览其他评论后,我发现这本书已引发巨大争议。当人们强烈反对某件事时,常会下意识地将对立面妖魔化——这种行为在政治争端和土地资源纠纷中屡见不鲜。我撰写此评论并非要辩驳任何一方,而是希望让双方都显得更"人性化",同时提供部分可能被两派共同认可的视角(因多重顾虑,无法呈现全貌)。
先从2016年2月21日我写给塔拉的邮件说起,我至今仍基本认同当时观点。以下为邮件节选:
> "总体而言,我欣赏这本书并希望我们都能理解它。书中不仅有重要启示,文笔与描写也极具魅力...关于第一部分'爱达荷州',我可以补充诸多细节。你早年记忆发生时我已足够年长,能接触更多信息并作出澄清。但我不建议大幅修改现有文本,因为补充内容会使叙事复杂化。科学和工程报告中常用的'80/20法则'告诉我们:应聚焦核心信息,为普通读者剔除看似矛盾或过于复杂的细节。毕竟无人能完全理解复杂事件的全貌,除非受众有特殊需求,否则突出主题才是上策。我认为你很好地遵循了这一法则。若有需要,我可提供说明笔记作为附录或出版备注。如你所言,我们对同一事件的记忆与感知存在差异,若强行加入我的版本,可能会破坏你简洁的叙事脉络。"
书中某些内容可能被误读,有些或许是塔拉自身的误解。鉴于教育是本书核心主题之一,我将在此提供不同视角。需声明:我并非全盘否定塔拉的解读。我们的父母确属极端分子,他们及其他家庭成员对塔拉造成的伤害真实存在——虐待、忽视与其他恶劣行径在书中已有描述,我不再赘述。这些事件发生时我早已远离家庭,多数细节已记忆模糊。如前言所述,我将仅围绕亲身经历或确凿无疑的事件展开叙述。
关于父亲对政府的怀疑:如塔拉所述,父亲曾表示担心政府人员会持枪闯入家中。但据我所知,这种担忧与家庭教育无关。他更常引用查尔顿·赫斯顿(Charlton Heston)的名言:"政府想夺枪,除非从我的尸体上掰开手指。"需要补充的是,父亲认为美国政府不会派遣地方警察或联邦特警收缴守法公民的枪支,更可能由联合国部队执行此类任务。还需澄清的是,家中枪支并不包括大规模枪击案中常见的大容量半自动步枪。我从未见过父亲持有此类武器,据我所知他也从未拥有过。
关于高等教育:许多读者惊叹塔拉突破重重障碍接受正规教育。但细想并不意外——家中七个孩子有六人接受过高等教育(仅卢克未参与,正如书中所述,课堂教育本非他所长)。父母"法耶"和"吉恩"各自至少上过一年大学。母亲从小鼓励我十六岁前为大学做准备,而父亲则对大学教育的傲慢姿态与自由主义倾向深感不满。
在我的观察中,大学文凭对社区多数人帮助有限——我认识的大多数学子毕业后仍回归家族农场。因看不到直接收益,我最初对高等教育兴趣寥寥。反倒是父亲给了我攻读学位的具体目标:若取得工程学位,就能为家族建筑公司的设计图纸加盖专业印章。当时十六岁的我认为唯有获得四年全额奖学金才能确保毕业——这正是我最终实现的路径。塔拉所言属实:父亲常逼迫我工作而非学习。
申请杨百翰大学(BYU)校董奖学金时,需围绕布莱兹·帕斯卡(Blaise Pascal)的名言撰写论文。此时竟是父亲给出了最佳建议:他让我花一整天在犹他州立大学图书馆研读帕斯卡,寻找语录背景及辅助引用。我遵循其建议并成功获奖。多年后,当我在BYU完成工程学士学位时,普渡大学(Purdue University)提供了研究生奖学金。尽管渴望前往,却因担心在印第安纳州难以找到信仰相同的伴侣而犹豫不决。听闻异地求学的负面故事后,我几乎决定拒绝邀请。最终咨询父母时,他们一致建议我接受——尤其铭记父亲的告诫:"别让对未来的恐惧阻碍你抓住良机。"带着这份鼓励,我在普渡完成了五年学业并获得博士学位。
显然,塔拉与父母关于高等教育的对话体验与我大相径庭。读完回忆录后,我希望读者能对书中事件与人物保持开放质疑,而非急于定论。每个亲历者都有自己的认知框架与人生体验。
**后记**:我收到一些负面评论,指责我将个人经历强加于塔拉。这绝非本意。书中多处,塔拉代替我们家庭成员诠释了言行思想甚至感受。虽无法代表其他家人,但就我个人而言,许多时候她的描述严重失实。为平衡视角,我认为至少应分享部分个人经历,同时仍全力支持她。我完全理解这是她的回忆录,是从她的认知出发的叙述。但在书评中阐明我的视角及相关佐证,应是合理之举。
直接武断地说作者“不是病态写作就是刻意捏造写作”这是对非虚构作品非常严重的指控还很堂皇地写No offense....
那么多人反对 指出作者在家庭里的成长环境和更年长哥哥们的巨大差异、还有女童被父母区别对待的普遍性已经很多人提到了
补充一下 作者的母亲也出了一本自传叫educating 贴主既然那么爱看亚马逊 可以看看众多国外读者评价 基本看完书都是说母亲的写法恰恰说明了她和丈夫的教育多么扭曲、侧面验证了本书的可信性 作者被煤气灯、虐待得多严重
https://book.douban.com/subject/35413448/ 母亲自传指路
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