Illusion in Loving

Prelude to a Primary lllusion<br >A quality of chaos appears to permeate the realms of private<br >and public relationship today， The current cultural climate of<br >permissiveness is drastically modifying the manners and morals<br >of love and sex. Two seemingly contradictory trends are flour-<br >ishing among both men and women: an inclination toward<br >instant intimacy and simultaneously toward narcissistic self-<br >centeredness. Expressions of closeness which until recently sig-<br >nified a depth and duration of familiarity and commitment<br >now are offered easily and accepted or rejected casually. No<br >promises of love or of centinuity are initially given or expected;<br >explicit disavowals of deep or permanent feelings are considered<br >as protection for the still private individualities. Each person<br >also claims and proclaims the need， the wish， and the right to<br >be apart and alone， and to pursue separate interests and goals，<br >serious or whimsical. The co-existence of both forms of in-<br >dulgence， in conneetedness and in autonomy， can be confound-<br >ing to both the moralistic pessimists and the innocent optimists<br >amol~gst us. When is the ehaos malignant and when may it be<br >benign?<br > Even our various professions of scientific psychotherapy are<br >aaving difficulties attending to and understanding these new<br >lUman data without bias. Yet this very co-existence of two<br >:eemit~gly c，pposed dimensions， instant intimacy and automatic<br >