After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is "like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair," has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him: "That woman was sexy. . . . Ou...
After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is "like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair," has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him: "That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them." "Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking." "The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two." More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern's philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes. An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny's, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns' kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh*t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.
So like any six-year-old who doesn't want to do something, I faked being sick, which attracted a lot more attention to me. Upon hearing that I wasn't feeling well, My aunts hurried me down the carpeted hallway to my parents' room and burst into it like it was an episode of ER (查看原文)
I had no problem with you crying. My only concern was with the snot that was coming out of your nose. Where does that go? On your hands, your shirt? That's no good. Oh, Jesus, don't start cryting. (查看原文)
From the beginning till the end, there are words all over the pages such as f**k, hell, shit, go**amn, etc. But if you think this book is about a load of crap spat out by a father, then you are terribly wrong. It’s a collection of a variety of subjects on ...
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一时手痒。摘了几句老爹金句。有机会写写自己的感想，先欠在这儿:) On My Response to Having My Tires Slashed “Oh, don’t go to the goddamned cops. They’re busy with real shit. I don’t want my tax dollars going to figuring out who thinks you’re an asshole....
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0 有用 北极熊吃科学家 2014-04-16 22:44:22
Cool dad!! Heart full of swearing words and life wisdom.