It's my game

Relationship is the most vital and basic need of us, it's about function, it's about ourselves. Because we wanted to be understood, to be accepted , to be accompnied, to be approved,to be loved.

Our relationship shaped our own perceiptiojn, relived our innner critics, self doubt and depreciation.The bad relationship is about high expectation, about harsh critics, perfectionism, it made you feel bad about yourself. If there is bad feedback, it's about you, it's not your fualt. It's just the wrong place and the person.It's not about flatter, not about pretend, not about being a big yes men. It is just about simply being there as part of a relationship.The really good relationship is some place we can just simply be ourselves, be honest and be vulnerable, and let other people contribute to your growth. Just do not allowed the bad relationship shaped your sense of yourself.

Lack of the good supporting system, there would be several issues. About clinical, about relationship, about performance. it's about stress, about procratinatiojn, abour disorganized. It's about misunderstood, about unable to have impact,

People say lonely at the top, that is so wrong, even Bill Gates got Warren Buffet, if you boardroom saw you as a supermen, just say fuck off and leave the place. If you are put in a situation that you have to take care of others but the very basic need of yourself is ignored, just quit the thing, and be humble to seek for help.

No body is a superman, and superman is no better than a human being, if a personal is not connected to something, he or she will become sociopath, nacissist. If a personal is connected to something bad, or pseudo good, to be made believe he or she doesn't deserve the good thing or must be supermen. It's not a success story, it's a sad story. We are gladiator, believe that.

I strongly feel, the pressure, but that's not about me, it's about other people, it's about their injection and their energy, and that's fundamentally a very personal issue of themselves.

The true relationship is about the good energy surround you, make you feel they are listenning, you are connceted to the fuel, they help you to understand your freedom and responsibility, they would trustworth and you will be protected. It's not about network not about function, it's about being there for each other, it's rather a very animal thing rather than intellegent thing.

The bad relationship will make you'd rather choose solitude and being afraid of intimacy, you might feel something is in your back, you have to made up dog is in back stroy, but that is not necessary. Relationship is an energy thing, emotional thing, when you met the ritght person, they will empower you, and to share the moment with you.

One of the most empowering sentence I have ever read it that, 'Daddy it's my game'. It's about that you have the ownership, emotion, direction, purpose, decision, belief, performance of yourself, and there are someone for you, just gentlely remind you that, they are there for you, and they will let you to have the control. They will support your decision, they will trust you, support, they will not make you try to please them or feel suffocating. They will try to make the world a safe place for you. They are your ally and they want you to win. And they will normalize your failure, make you feel relieved. It's so simple, it's something we have learnt since we are animals or babies. just sometimes we might forgot about that.

One of the most foundamental issue of our life is try to work together with other talented and smart people, tell them our true feeling, say it with respect, but say it all. To help them make mart and achievable goal, to help them understand who they are.

Never make the one you loved your prisoner, try to help them to be self-effient, and let them help you also.

Try to avoid these Bermada triangle things, I understand people might get scared, they might do gossip, they try to tell C that B is treating him badly which is not try. If they really want the relationship, tell B directly, if they don't they should just leave. One of the most profound feeling during my early years in China is that I am always afraid, and I generally felt there are a lot of unexpected punishment. Unwanted relationship, ugly and disfunctional relationships. And I wish there are always someone in a way or the other being for me, and vice versa.