One in a Million

Juli, a brave, smart, perceptive and 'iron-backboned' girl. Unlike her, I was someone of cowardice, vanity, snobbery, sloth... I never had an 'iron-backbone'. I was always influenced by other people's opinions and prejudice, followed them and adjust myself to someone who would be 'accepted'. I got sensitive eyes, but they are always on others, admiring things that I can't have. I've no idea of confidence, and never think highly of what I have. I would imitate the girl you might like, follow her style and behavior. I gave up my not-so-girlish interests, and learned to talk about dresses, make-ups and celebrity gossips. I thought the more I look like her, the closer I could get to you. I was so afraid of being unapproved and frustrated, sometimes I pulled up my courage and finally took one step out, but the next second I get panicked and afraid and run away even faster than a coward could ever do. I think I never managed to truly express myself, even once. And you were just a common boy. You chased after the most popular girl and the basketball occupied the most of your time. Of course you were always with your buddies and you talked about girls and sports, hung around and played pranks. You wouldn't think much about what life is or what you really want. You just followed your instincts. I wonder if you could recognize your Juli the day you meet her...I doubt if you ever want a Juli. Unfortunately, I'm not a Juli, and you are not my Bryce. Still, I feel so blessed that I met you and got to know you in a brighter time of my life.