针对中青版《Parting the Waters》译本的勘误
本次勘误不考虑以下问题:
一,涉及政治与意识形态,为了通过审查而有意为之的漏译。包括基督徒之间以兄弟姐妹相称的敬语,涉及“共产主义”一词的语句,等等。
二,对于圣经引文的自行翻译而非选取现有译本。
三,语感较差但语法正确的英语从句译法。
原文前标注的页码均为《分水岭》(以下简称《分》)的页码。正译均选自本人的译本《劈波蹈海》(以下简称《劈》)。
最后再说一句,我很想知道中青译者刻意淡化原文的基督教色彩究竟是为了过审还是因为自身对于基督教不够了解。原著三部曲的标题——Parting the Waters,Pillar of Fire,At Canaan's Edge——对应的分别是旧约当中先知摩西生平三件大事——分开红海带领以色列人逃离埃及,在火柱指引下荒野游荡四十年,临终前望见迦南地而不得入。马丁.路德.金本人也曾在遇害前不久将自己比作摩西。因此我认为《劈波蹈海》是比《分水岭》更贴切的译法。
第一章:
P1:Nearly seven hundred Negro communicants, some wearing white robes, marched together in the exodus of 1867.
误:1867年的黑人大迁徙队伍里有一群将近700人的宗教团体,他们中有些人穿着白袍。
正:1867年,将近七百名黑人教会成员——其中有些人穿着白色长袍——并肩迈步发动了一场远征。
分析:700名黑人是行动主体而不是其中的一部分。
P3: And because those same deacons also made it a tradition to choose the best trained, most ambitious ministers, titanic struggles after the fashion of those between European monarchs and nobles became almost a routine of church life at Dexter.
误:……他们效仿欧洲君主与贵族之间的种种展开巨大争斗。这些成了德克斯特浸信会中的常规事务。
正:……因此德克斯特大道浸信会的教会生活内部充满了足以与欧洲王室政治博弈相提并论的激烈冲突。
分析:after the fashion of在此并无主动效仿的意味。黑人教会并不会主动“效仿欧洲君主与贵族”。
P6:That year Nesbitt went home with the name of a prestigious, highly trained candidate for the vacant pulpit at Dexter--a man further recommended to the church's tastes by his attendance at no less than five colleges, and by the possession of four names, Alfred Charles Livingston Arbouin.
误:……因为他至少在5所学院上过学,并且有4个名字……
正:……另外此人不仅上过五所大学,而且他的名字足有四节……
分析:如果真是四个不同的名字,名字之间应用逗号隔开。
P7:Dexter鈥檚 stolid deacons were accustomed to quality, but in Johns they recognized a mind of a higher order altogether.
误:教堂的执事们原本就很敬业……
正:德克斯特的执事们也算见过世面……
分析:be accustomed to quality无论如何也没有敬业的意思。
P7:Vernon Johns was merely another invisible man to nearly all whites, but to the invisible people themselves he was the stuff of legend.
误:对所有的白人来说,弗农.约翰斯仅仅是一位“隐形人”……
正:黑人在绝大部分白人眼里都是不存在的隐身人,弗农.约翰斯也不能例外……
分析:没有译出another一词。
P8:When Price died about 1900, Sallie Price Johns went to the funeral with her young son Vernon and her husband Willie, son of the hanged slave, and sat through the burial services in a separate-but-equal family section, just across the gravesite from Miss Kitty and the white relatives.
误:……萨丽.普赖斯.约翰斯……重新面对这样一种疏离而又平等的家庭关系,耐着性子坚持完整场葬礼,普赖斯就埋在“凯蒂小姐”和其他白人亲戚的坟墓对面。
正:……一家人坐在“分离但平等”的席位上,凯蒂小姐以及普莱斯的白人亲戚们则坐在他们对面,普莱斯的坟墓就隔在双方中间。
分析:separate-but-equal是描述种族关系的专用名词。此外身为白人的普赖斯也没理由不与其他白人埋在一起。最后“凯蒂小姐”和其他白人亲戚是葬礼的参与者而不是已经下葬的死者。
P8: It lay at the extreme northern boundary of the rich agricultural Black Belt……
误:它坐落在黑人居住区最北部的边界……
正:这个县位于丰饶的农业黑土带的最北部边界……
分析:维基百科Black Belt (U.S. region)词条表明,The term originally described the prairies and dark fertile soil of central Alabama and northeast Mississippi. Because this area was developed for cotton plantations based on enslaved African-American labor, the term became associated with these conditions. 从政治角度翻译成黑人区也无妨,但是原文已经点出了agricultural,因此正确译法应当是黑土带。
P9: Poor eyesight caused him to vow as a youth that he would read the small print of the Bible only once.
误:他视力不佳,所以在年轻时曾经乞求能读一遍小号字体印刷的《圣经》也好。
正:他的视力很差,以至于少年时曾经发誓只肯将小字印刷的圣经阅读一遍。
分析:按照误译,原文应为if he could only read the small print of the Bible once
P9:In later years, he would discard his Latin and Hebrew on aesthetic grounds……
误:后来几年他并没有学习拉丁文和希腊文
正:日后约翰斯将会因为审美口味不合而放弃拉丁语与希伯来语
分析:discard为放弃之意
P10:……he remarked that no country Negro could make the grades Johns was making without cheating.
误:除非作弊,没有哪个国家的黑奴能够取得约翰斯的分数。
正:没有哪个乡下来的黑人能够不靠作弊就取得约翰斯这样的成绩。
分析:Negro是当时对于黑人的政治正确称呼,并没有贬义,更不等同于黑奴。
P10:his brother would often meet him at the station with a fresh horse,
误:他弟弟总是牵着一匹刚出生没多久的马驹在火车站等他,
正:回来时他弟弟经常牵着一匹精神饱满的马匹在车站迎接他。
分析:且不说“刚出生没多久的马驹”能否骑乘,约翰斯每次出门之后家里都要新添马驹也不合常理。
P13:Johns told the chief and his men that the sermon would be open to everyone but that he would be happy to give a preview on the spot, in case they were too intimidated to attend a Negro church.
误:约翰斯告诉局长和警察,布道将会向所有人开放,他相当赞成他们的想法,能立刻来场预演,免得大家太怕进入黑人教堂。
正:约翰斯告诉警察局长和他的部属们,这次布道将会向所有人开放。不过考虑到有些白人兴许没有胆量走进黑人教堂,他也很乐意在各位警官面前现场预演一番。
分析:误译当中的“他相当赞成他们的想法”恐怕是看到he would be happy to 之后的反应。
P17: “I want to pause here in the service, until Dr. Trenholm can get himself seated here on his semi-annual visit to the church.”
误:“讲到这里我要停一下,特伦荷穆博士,您要是能保证每半年来一次,我才能让您在这里坐。”
正:“我想暂停布道,直到特伦霍姆博士坐下来为止。每半年来教堂访问一次的稀客理应得到尊重。”
P18:He named the Alabama State business professors and challenged the congregation to name an actual business to which any of them had ever applied himself.
误:他点名要亚拉巴马州立大学商学院教授回答,还挑战教堂会众,让他们说出一种目前黑人可以效力的商业名称。
正:他点了几位阿拉巴马州立大学商学院教授的名字,并且要求会众们说出哪怕一项他们当中任何一个人曾经亲身经营过的商业活动。
P21:Besides, I get forty calls about fish for every one about religion.
误:此外,因为鱼的问题,我被宗教人士传唤了40次。
正:此外,向我下订单买鱼的电话与向我咨询宗教问题的电话的数量大约是四十比一。
分析:低级错误。
P21:As a deacon known to be personally sympathetic to Johns, and as a member of the minority “Non-teacher clique” that was less hostile toward the preacher, Nesbitt found himself under attack for failing to control Johns, who went on selling produce.
误:……而且他本人也不爱说教,对牧师并没有什么敌意……
正:……作为“非教师派系”少数派的成员,他对于布道人的敌意也没那么大……
分析:前文提到过德克斯特教会大多数成员都是阿拉巴马州立大学教师。
P21:He never opened the pulpit Bibles during his tenure at Dexter, but he wore out at least three of them with his fists.
误:在德克斯特教堂任期内,他从未在讲坛上翻开过圣经,但至少有三次他用尽力气捶在圣经上。
正:他在德克斯特任职期间从未在布道坛上翻看过圣经,但是却用拳头砸烂了至少三本圣经。
分析:wore out有耗损殆尽之意。
P22:……the Ku Klux Klan had burned a cross in his brother’s yard to intimidate the Johns family over a school strike.
误:……在他哥哥家的院子里烧了一座十字架。
正:……在他弟弟的院子里焚烧了一座十字架,
分析:联系下文可知。
P23:NAACP could not sue for better Negro schools--only for completely integrated ones.
误:协进会不能通过诉讼换来更好的黑人学校——除非多所学校作为统一整体进行争取。
正:协进会不能为了提升黑人学校的硬件质量而打官司,只能为了推动彻底种族混合的学校而打官司。
分析:误译完全没有考虑布朗诉托皮卡教育局案件的背景,因此没能正确理解integrated一词。
P24:it was considered a bad sign that ever fewer churchwomen favored the pastor’s house with cooked dishes from their kitchens.
误:从自家厨房拿来饭菜帮助教会的女性会众越来越少。
正:带着亲手烹制的家常菜来到牧师家里串门的女性会众也越来越少见了。
分析:pastor’s house指的是教会为牧师提供的住宅。
P28:She thought it was a fault she shared with her uncle.
误:她认为她一定要帮助伯父分担这次错误带来的后果。
正:她认为她和她大伯都有这个毛病。
第二章:
P30:One odd white thread ran through the whole of it: insofar as the Kings encountered anything better than obstruction in the white world, it could be traced more often than not to the influence of a most unlikely source, John D. Rockefeller.
误:……在金还未在白人世界遭遇阻碍时,却和一位看似最不可能跟他有关联的人联系起来……
正:……如果说金家族在白人的世界里除了阻挠障碍之外还遇到过些许善意与扶持,那么后者往往要归结于一位极其出人意料的大人物的影响力……
分析:原句中的Kings指代的不是一个人,而是全体金家人。anything better than obstruction字面意为“比阻碍更好的事物”,而非“尚未遇到阻碍”。
P31: Only he and a few partners knew that he had invented that very year the secret network of interlocking stock pledges--called a trust--through which he would levy a monopoly fee on the industrial development of the entire country.
误:……在那一年他创造了自己的股票抵押秘密关系网——也称为信托……
正:……他在那一年发明了一套相互连锁的股票质押秘密网络——他称其为托拉斯……
P31:The Baptists were descended from the Anabaptists of sixteenth-century Germany, who had rebelled against Martin Luther for not going far enough in his break with the Catholic Church.
误:那里的施洗礼者要追溯到16世纪的德国再洗礼派,作为背叛马丁.路德的一群人,在与天主教教堂分离后并没有走得很远。
正:浸信会的前身是十六世纪德国的再洗礼派。这一教派反对马丁.路德,认为他未能与天主教会彻底分道扬镳。
分析:误译的语法理解能力欠缺与宗教知识欠缺可谓相得益彰。
P32:At the time, no one realized that this strategic acquisition would make the twentieth-century demographics of Atlanta unique among American cities.
误:这次战略性的收购将会让亚特兰大20世纪的人口在美国城市中雄踞榜首
正:当时谁也没有意识到这项战略收购将使得二十世纪的亚特兰大具备在美国城市当中独一无二的人口分布。
分析:误译错误理解了demographic与unique的意思。
P34:……as whites in the South and North generally agreed that there were more important things to do in the world than to contend with each other over the status of the Negro, which was then fixed by science as lowly.
误:……南方白人与北方白人都觉得与黑人竞争实在是有伤体面……
正:……因为南方和北方的白人普遍认同了以下观点:在这世界上还有更重要的事情需要关注,一味为了黑人的地位而争斗不休实在没什么意思……
分析:按照误译,原文应为contend with Negro
P34:The reigning idea was that racial quarrels, while accomplishing nothing since the Civil War, had interfered with business, diverted reform campaigns from more productive fields, and hindered America’s new efforts to win a commanding position in the battle for global influence.
误:当时流行的理念是种族纷争——这个自从内战后就没有一点改善……
正:北方的主流观点认为种族纷争自从内战之后就再也没有带来任何实际好处……
P37:Mike King, later known as Martin Luther King, Sr., and still later as Daddy King, met her while she was studying there.
误:迈克.金以后会更名为大家所熟知的大马丁.路德.金,再以后被人称作金爸爸。
正:迈克.金——日后的老马丁.路德.金以及更久之后的金老爹
分析:兄弟之间才论大小,如大格拉古与小格拉古。父子之间要论老小。误译差了一辈。
P38:He became a professional preacher in the time-honored manner of the ambitious former slaves, before he had been inside a church that could afford an organ.
误:……从前他还去过穷得只能购买一架风琴的教堂。
正:……早在他第一次踏进一座买得起管风琴的教堂大门之前……
分析:风琴是昂贵的奢侈品,不是随便一家教会就能买得起的。
P40:let there be a brick house
误:要有一座砖场。
正:要有一座砖房子。
P43:I like your frankness, but do you think that more people will criticize you on account of my wealth than will criticize me on account of your theology?
误:……但是如此一来更多人会因为你倚仗我的财富来批评你,却不会再由于你的神学理论而批评我,你不认为是这样吗?
正:……但是你认为因为我的财富而骂你的人就一定会比因为你的神学观点而骂我的人更多吗?
P45:By this she meant that at Ebenezer she could never take the place of her mother.
误:在埃比尼泽教堂她永远也不想取代她母亲的位置。
正:换句话说她认为自己永远不能在以便以谢教会取代她的母亲。
分析:“不能”与“不想”不应混淆。
P48:Few people seemed to resent his manner, partly because it was common to ministers and mostly because he produced.
误:很少有人讨厌他的性情,一部分原因是处于认为认为这性情是牧师普遍有的,而大部分原因则是由于这正是他个人表现出来的。
正:金的言论看似自吹自擂,可是厌恶这套说辞的人却非常有限。部分原因在于当时的黑人教士大都是这个路数,但更主要的原因在于金的每一句炫耀都有实绩支撑。
分析:误译对于produce的理解不够深。
P49:There he visited biblical sites in Jerusalem, Bethlehem, and elsewhere……
误:在那里他游览了《圣经》中提到的耶路撒冷的一些著名地点,比如耶稣诞生地伯利恒……
正:在这里他寻访了耶路撒冷、伯利恒以及其他多处圣经故址……
分析:耶路撒冷与伯利恒是两个相互独立的城市,不是上下级关系。
P51:……when greeted by white people at the Chicago Opera, (he)often gave a pathetic mumbo-jumbo reply in the hope that he would be taken for an African diplomat instead of an American.
误:在芝加哥歌剧院白人迎接他的时候,他要说出感伤又莫名其妙的话,以传达一种期望:他希望人们把他当成美国外交官,而不是非洲外交官。
正:每当他去芝加哥歌剧院看戏的时候遇到白人观众向他打招呼,他总会含糊其辞地混过去,希望对方将自己当成来自非洲某国的外交官而不是美国人。
分析:误译的理解能力实在不敢恭维。此外In the hope that 指的是自己希望而不是向别人传达希望。
P53:Reverend King supplied the wish and the preparation, but it remained for strangers in the world at large to impose Martin Luther King’s new name upon him.
误:金牧师表明了心愿,给儿子时间去准备,让全世界的陌生人认可马丁.路德.金这个名字名副其实。
正:老金牧师希望儿子能接受这个新名字,也做了很多铺垫,但最终还是众多陌生人将马丁.路德.金这个名字强加在了他儿子的头上。
P55:As a political leader, however, he suffered all the liabilities of an elitist intellectual.
误:作为一名政治领袖,他却承担着优秀知识分子应承担的责任。
正:然而作为一名政治领袖,他却背负着精英主义知识分子的一切缺点。
分析:韦氏词典对于liability的定义是one that acts as a disadvantage。
P55:he made matters worse by commenting that White had no brains
误:他还评论说白人缺乏头脑,让事态更加严重。
正:更糟的是他还公开声称怀特没长脑子。
分析:这个错误是审阅人员的失职。
P56:The first contribution out of Wilkins’ own typewriter was a sports story about Negro track stars, which, Wilkins dryly recalled, the beleaguered Du Bois allowed to run “tucked among the most august literary and sociological thinkers of the race.”
误:……威尔金斯淡淡地回忆着,杜波依斯决定让他“在种族里最令人敬畏的文学思想家和社会思想家中雪藏”。
正:后来他不露声色地回忆道,在他的软磨硬泡之下,杜博斯最终不得不同意将这篇稿件“塞在最威严的黑人文学家与社会思想家的文字之间”。
分析:tuck的宾语是 a sports story about Negro track stars而不是Wilkins
P58:Spurning all talk of appearances and strategies, he marshaled the raw prose for which he was famous.
误:他写了很多让他出名却有些不成熟的散文。
正:他抛弃了一切关于种族形象与斗争策略的辞令,亮出了自己赖以成名的凶猛笔锋。
分析:误译不仅不理解从句结构,也不理解raw的用法。
P59:The success of this traditional NAACP activity was marred, however, by the small numbers and by factionalism among the leadership.
误:这次全国有色人种协进会成功地被领导阶级的党派之争和一小部分人抹杀了。
正:这是协进会的惯常活动,但是这次活动的成功却并不算完美,首先是参与人数太少,其次活动领导层也陷入了分裂。
分析:mar做动词意为玷污而非毁灭。
P60:Remarkably, the expansion at Ebenezer accelerated until the church caught and passed its older and more established rival on Auburn Avenue, Wheat Street Baptist, where the building program for a new church stalled and then collapsed in mid-construction.
误:……那座教堂新建筑……才完成了一半就拆掉了。
正:……这家教会的新教堂修建计划先是拖延了很久,然后在施工期间又垮塌了。
分析:原文是collapse,不是dismantle。
P63:The Rockefeller associate wanted to oust the dictatorial Florence Read, saying that she was anything but a professional educator and had been only a Rockefeller secretary.
误:……她各方面都不错,但不是一位职业教育家……
正:……她根本不是专业教育家……
P67:……where it had become traditional to say that there were only two kinds of students: those at Morehouse and those who wished they were.
误:……一种由来已久的说法是,关于莫尔豪斯学院只两种学生……
正:……按照摩豪斯的说法,一切学生分为两类……
分析:还是校对的责任。
P68:He abhorred religious tastes--especially the happy chatter about heaven and the cross--and looked upon religious ideas as a point of departure.
误:他痛恨宗教的优点……
正:他憎恶宗教品味……
分析:低级错误。
P70:The Soviet Union and the United States began to split the globe into two warring camps, each claiming to represent idealism against an empire of evil ambitions. Colonized peoples in Asia and Africa denounced the hypocrisy of the democratic nations that doggedly reasserted sovereignty over them.
误:苏联与美国逐渐将全球分化成两个阵营双方都声称自己坚持的主义能消灭邪恶帝国的野心。亚洲殖民地和非洲殖民地的人民前者民主国家的虚伪,坚定不移地维护自己的主权。
正:苏联和美国开始将全球分割成两大敌对阵营,双方都声称自己是理想主义的代表,对方是怀有邪恶野心的帝国。众多奉行民主制度的国家顽固地重申着自己对于亚洲与非洲殖民地的主权,此等虚伪行径理所当然地遭到了殖民地人民的激烈谴责。
P71:……they and the FBI would compile enough evidence to take before a grand jury, which declined to return an indictment.
误:联邦调查局还是搜集到了足够的证据,提交给了拒绝撤销起诉书的大陪审团。
正:他们和联邦调查局的探员们确实收集到了足够的证据并且将其提交到了大陪审团面前,但是大审判团拒绝起诉。
分析:不知撤销二字从何而来。
P74:Properly conceived, he argued, education provides “noble ends rather than a means to an end”.
误:金认为,如方法得当,教育提供的是“高贵的目的,绝不是置人于死地的手段”。
正:在他看来,构想得当的教育本身就应当是“崇高的目的而不是实现目的的手段”。
分析:看到end就想到死也是耿直。
第三章:
P77:Students in practice preaching class would occasionally hear the heathen clatter of a new rack being broken below.
误:学生上传教课时,偶尔能听到下面打破新架子时野蛮的声音。
正:学生们在礼拜堂里练习布道技巧的时候偶尔还能听到脚下传来一阵噼里啪啦的声音,想来是有人把刚摆好的一框台球打散了。
P79:Against these trends, Crozer failed to compete successfully for students.
误:在反对这些趋势上,克劳泽神学院未能为学生争取到胜利。
正:面对这样的趋势,克罗兹神学院在争夺生源的时候经常落在下风。
P80:Pritchard’s conclusion, which he shared with four or five of the other leading Western scholars in the field, was that Moses was an uncorroborated historical figure, quite possibly a legendary one, and that the Exodus itself was probably a much smaller and more symbolic event than the one described in the Bible.
误:由此普理查德认为摩西是未经证实的历史人物,很可能是传说中的人物,而走出埃及本身可能是比圣经中描述的更小但更具代表性的事,他还将自己的观点告诉了这一领域中四五位著名的西方学者。
正:普里查德由此得出结论——当时只有四五个业界领先的西方学者认同这一观点——摩西是一位没有史料支持的人物,很可能是传说中的角色。与圣经记述的出埃及记相比,真实的历史事件很可能规模远远更小并且只具有象征意义。
P80:The standing joke among the Crozer students who survived these courses was that...
误:克劳泽神学院中通过了上述两个科目的学生都把这两门课当作笑柄,
正:挺过这些课程的克罗兹学生经常开玩笑说……
P84:In class, Keighton remarked that he wished he knew his Bible as well as he knew Shakespeare,
误:凯顿在课堂上说自己有多了解《圣经》,就有多了解莎士比亚的作品。
正:在课堂上他曾经声称自己真心希望能像熟谙莎士比亚那样掌握圣经内容。
P85:the deepest theologian in the Baptist Church
误:浸信会教堂最深处的神学家
正:最深刻的浸信会神学家
P87:...he pointed out to his father that it was not the smoke-filled poolroom itself that was sinful but rather the plan sometimes hatched there to rob the liquor store...
误:金对父亲说这不是烟雾缭绕充满罪恶的桌球室,只不过会有些打家劫舍的计划。
正:他向父亲指出,烟雾缭绕的台球厅本身并非罪孽所在,有时在台球厅里制定的抢劫酒水商店的计划才当真有罪。
P87:King read The Communist Manifesto and some interpretations of Marx and Lenin before framing an objection to communism that would serve him the rest of his life.
误:金读了《共产党宣言》及对马克思和列宁著作的解读后才开始计划反对共产主义,可正是共产主义让他余生不懈奋斗。
正:金读完了《共产主义宣言》以及一批涉及马克思与列宁思想的阐述作品,之后就抱定了终其一生的反对共产主义立场。
分析:如果不敢如实翻译,不妨把这句话删掉。
P89:...he never again fell so completely under the spell of any school of thought, including Niebuhr’s.
误:他从未对某种思想学派如此着迷,就算对尼布尔的也没有。
正:从此以后金再也没有彻头彻尾地陷入任何一个思想学派的掌控,包括尼布尔的思想在内。
P90:Horrified Social Gospel reviewers implied that Niebuhr’s emphasis on sin made him a traitor to progress, or even a fundamentalist.
误:惊恐的社会福音运动评论者们暗示尼布尔对罪恶的强调说明他背叛了进步,甚至不配当原教旨主义者。
正:社会福音派的评论家们同样吓得不知所措,他们暗示尼布尔对罪孽的强调使他沦为了社会进步的叛徒,甚至跌落进了原教旨主义者的行列。
P90:That same emphasis might have endeared him to religious conservatives.
误:同样的强调也让尼布尔受到宗教保守主义者的喜爱
正:宗教保守派倒是很可能因为这一点对他另眼相看
分析:误译没看见might have
P98:King himself shared this propensity to vagueness on the crucial questions, but, in much the same way that a doubting preacher fell back from the afterlife to morality, he embraced Personalism’s teaching that there was rich, empirical meaning in religious experience.
误:金分享了自己在一些重大问题上模糊化的倾向,但用同样的模糊方式,这位有疑心的传教士从来世退回到了道德上……
正:面对这些关键问题,金本人的态度往往也倾向于含糊不清,但是他的信仰并未因此而动摇。心存疑惑的布道人经常会放弃来生阵地,退守到道德阵地上,金也采取了这样的策略。
P100:but he did most of his work with sympathetic non-activists like DeWolf.
误:但金和德沃尔夫一样,大部分工作都是和富有同情心的非行动派一起进行的。
正:但他选修的大部分课程还是由德沃尔夫这样同情种族平等事业的非活动家传授。
P101:He had been uneasy since the previous summer of 1951, when the romance with Juanita Sellers inexplicably had failed to mature.
误:自1951年夏天,金与胡安妮塔.塞勒斯之间莫名地未能开花之后,金就一直深感不安。
正:自从上一年也就是1951年的夏天以来,老金牧师一直焦虑不安,因为儿子与胡安妮塔.塞勒斯的恋情莫名其妙地没能开花结果。
P108:Years ahead of her time, she wanted the promise to obey her husband removed from the wedding vows as inequitable
误:斯科特结婚前几年就从结婚誓言中删掉只遵从丈夫的承诺,因为她觉得不公平。
正:此外她还做出了一项远远超前于时代的举动……从婚礼誓词当中删除了“我将服从丈夫”这句话,因为她认为单方面的服从对自己很不公平。
第四章:
P120:she forced him to invoke what he called his authority as head of the household
误:但柯瑞塔还是请求金放弃他所谓的一家之主的权威
正:但是最后他依然不得不抬出自己身为一家之主的权威来。
分析:误译大概把invoke误认为是revoke了。
P121:The first news films of a hydrogen bomb test showed shirtless American engineers smoking pipes and wearing pith helmets as they adjusted the rigging for a blast far out in the Pacific Ocean.
误:……正在遥远的太平洋上调试索具。
正:……正在忙碌装配着各种器材设施,为得是远在太平洋的氢弹爆炸能够顺利进行。
分析:对于rigging的翻译过于生硬,脱离了上下文。
P121:Sherman Adams, Eisenhower’s chief of staff, was preoccupied with political images, wanting to make sure that the Democrats could not blame Republicans for the decision by pointing to Ike’s appointment of Warren.
误:……希望在委任沃伦这件事上,民主党人不会责怪自由党人。
正:……他想要确保民主党不能因为艾森豪威尔任命沃伦担任大法官而责怪共和党。
分析:低级错误。
P123:From there, he proclaimed himself on the single theme of authority in a ringing preface worthy of Moses, Augustine, or Luther.
误:……他响亮明白的前言配得上摩西、圣奥古斯丁和他自己。
正:……行文气势足以令摩西、奥古斯汀或者路德击节赞叹。
分析:低级错误。
P124:Most probably, he could have gotten the congregation to adopt it as a resolution,
误:很可能的情况是,金能让会众把这当作一种决心。
正:最可能的结果是他会凭借着新官上任三把火的气势迫使会众将这段文字当成教会决议加以通过,
分析:对于resolution的理解有误。
P128:Though still a boy to many of his older listeners, he had the commanding air of a burning sage.
误:从小男孩到年纪大的听众,金都有一种圣人的气度。
正:尽管与许多年长的信众相比他还是个毛头小子,但是他的气场却像言出法随的智者一样熊熊燃烧。
P129:Prosecutors had thrown the book at Colvin
误:检察官丢给科尔文一本书
正:公诉人则决定施展全部手段来对付科尔文
分析:throw a book at sb 是固定搭配。
P130:he was the first Negro since Reconstruction to put himself on the ballot for local office
误:他……还成了自重建时期以来,第一个为当地政府选举投票的黑人
正:他也是战后重建以来第一位参与政府公职选举的黑人
P136:As they became better acquainted, Graetz decided that King’s own experience as a Negro student among whites in the North gave him a feel for life at Trinity Lutheran.
误:他们逐渐熟悉之后,格雷茨认为金作为黑人学生在北方白人众多的地方上学的经历让在三一路德教堂的他看到了希望。
正:进一步加深相互了解之后,格雷茨觉得金之所以如此体谅自己在圣三一教会里的处境,正是因为当年他曾经作为一名黑人学生来到北方白人圈子里求学,品尝过身为种族异类的滋味。
P137:The timing of the sudden announcement made it look suspiciously like one of the senior King’s attention-getting maneuvers.
误:突然宣布这件事看上去仿佛是为吸引父亲的注意力而使出的花招。
正:如此突如其来的宣布这么重大的决定,看上去实在像极了老金牧师惯用的抓人眼球手段。
P146:“We’ve worn aprons all our lives,” he said. “It’s time to take the aprons off. If we’re gonna be mens, now it’s the time to be mens.”
误:“我们一直都穿着长袍,”他说,“是时候脱下来了……”
正:“我们已经扎了一辈子围嘴了,”他说,“现在是时候把围嘴解下来了……”
分析:根据上下文,围嘴显然比长袍更合适。
第五章:
P152:Such joyous abandon was almost as alarming to the teacher as the violence he had feared,
误:这种快乐的放纵是他一直忧虑的暴烈言行。
正:如此肆无忌惮的欢乐令这位老师心慌意乱,几乎就好比劳森做出了他十分恐惧的暴力行径一样。
分析:joyous abandon并不是violence he had feared当中的一类。
P153:One feels that history is being made in Montgomery these days, the most important in her career.
误:有人感觉这些天的蒙哥马利正在创造历史,那是她职业生涯最重要的时刻。
正:人们难免觉得这几天的蒙哥马利正在创造历史,如今正是蒙哥马利建市以来最重要的一段时光。
分析:《韦氏词典》表示career有course, passage之意,例句the sun's career across the sky。城市肯定不会有职业生涯。
P153:The very moderation of the demands led civil rights groups such as the national NAACP to frown upon the boycott as a wildcat movement for something less than integration.
误:……他们把这个运动视为一种野猫运动……
正:……他们认为这场抵制运动想一出是一出……
分析:必应词典表示wildcat做形容词意为(罢工)未经工会同意的;(计划不周密而)不稳妥的;不按正常标准的,例句a wildcat strike happens suddenly and without the official support of a trade/labor union
P154:As for the boycotters themselves……faced ……complicated relays in getting from home to job without being late or getting fired or getting into an argument with the employer
误:他们不得不应付……复杂的倒班工作……
正:他们不得不借助于复杂的接力式通勤方式……
分析:omplicated relays 发生在居所与工作地点之间(getting from home to job),因此不会是倒班的意思。
P154:King immediately called his college friend T. J. Jemison, who, as secretary of the National Baptist Convention,was a prince of the national church on a much higher level than the Kings.
误:……他是国家浸信会联会的一位领导,地位比金高得多。
正:……他是全国浸信会大会当中的一位秘书,也是全国教会当中的重量级人物,地位比金家父子高得多。
分析:Kings显然指的不仅只是小金一人。
P155:Knowing such things, King was stunned once again when the crowd greeted his proposal with a church-rocking roar of approval. Whatever it took, they would do it.
误:虽然明白这些事情,但当信众一致应和他的建议时金还是被兴奋冲昏了头脑。他决定不去顾虑那些问题,而且相信人们会按照他的建议去行动。
正:道理全都清楚的金万万没想到,自己的提议居然再一次得到了集会人群的一致应和,人们的欢呼声震撼得教堂都瑟瑟发抖。抵制运动需要他们干什么,他们就愿意干什么。
分析:误译错误理解了stunned一词,因此完全搞反了金的心态。
P154:At the first negotiating session, on December 8, the three co-equal city commissioners parried King's arguments before a large crowd of reporters, boycotters, and white spectators.
误:……3位回避与金的辩论。
正:……蒙哥马利市政府派出了三位地位平等的谈判专员……
分析:如此明显的漏译想必是编校审读长达一年之久的数位资深专家的失职。我很感兴趣这些专家到底姓甚名谁。
P154:Commissioner W. A. "Tacky' Gayle (who was designated mayor because he supervised the employees at city hall) ……
误:……(由于要监督政府员工,他被指定为市长)……
正:……(他的工作是监督市政府全体员工,因此被指定为市长的代言人)……
P156:Rev. Henry Parker of the First Baptist Church, out of which Abernathy's church had been born eighty-eight years earlier,
误:第一浸信会教堂的牧师亨利.帕克试图弥合实质性的分歧(这个教堂与88 年前诞生的阿伯纳斯曾经任职过的教堂同名)。
正:第一浸信会教会的亨利.帕克牧师(阿博纳西眼下任职的教会正是在八十八年前脱胎于这家教会)试图弥合双方之间的实质性分歧
P159:A sharp decline in Christmas purchases by Negroes caused Montgomery store owners to wince, but they were not greatly alarmed.
误:由于黑人拒绝购买圣诞礼物,导致了圣诞销售额的急剧下降,这让蒙哥马利的商店业主皱起了眉头……
正:黑人圣诞购物数额的急剧下降使得蒙哥马利的商店业主皱起了眉头……
P158:The whites had spoken as the diplomats of a large country might defend their interests to diplomats from a small one.
误:白人曾谈到大国的外交官也可能要为捍卫本国的利益而防备小国。
正:这些白人的谈判态度就好像大国外交官正在小国外交官面前捍卫本国利益一样。
P158:They were walking in pride and dignity, he declared, with a gait that would "do justice to any queen.'
误:她们是那么骄傲和高贵,她们为公平正义而行走,她们终将和女王平起平坐。
正:他声称她们的气质如此骄傲而又高贵,她们的步态“足以与任何一位女王相提并论”。
P159:in which Arkansas council members were cooperating
误:阿肯色州议会成员将共同合作
正:阿肯色州的理事会成员正在通力协作
分析:这里的council显然指的是白人公民理事会
P161:……when daring counterstrokes made Southern legends of Robert E. Lee and Stonewall Jackson.
误:……当时北方联盟的勇敢反击造就了南方的传奇人物罗伯特.E.李和“石墙”杰克逊。
正:……罗伯特.E.李和“石墙”杰克逊当时正是通过一系列大胆的反击作战成为了南方的传奇人物。
分析:不做功课的翻译就会犯这种错误。
P161:In January, concluding reluctantly that the boycott had endured long enough to require special journalistic attention.
误:1月份,报纸上连篇累牍报道抵制运动已经够长时间了,如果没有什么特别值得关注的新闻就要结束报道……
正:1月份,霍尔很不情愿地得出结论,抵制运动已经坚持了足够长久的时间,需要新闻行业进行特别关注……
分析:误译不清楚enough to组合前后的逻辑关系。
P162:He recalled, for instance,
误:格雷茨后来举例回忆说,
正:比方说格雷茨回忆道,
P162:"Naturally, I just beamed,' Graetz told Johnson, "because that really fit me.'
误:“当然,我只是桥梁,”格雷茨告诉约翰逊,“但它适合我。”
正:“这番话听得我喜上眉梢,”格雷茨告诉约翰逊,“因为这样的评价确实很适合我。”
分析:不清楚beam是怎么翻译成“桥梁”的。
P163:This candor supported what Montgomery whites had been saying all along--that the radical Negro leaders were not really for segregation, that they were lying.
误:他们认为激进黑人领袖们并不真是为了应对隔离问题,他们在撒谎。
正:激进黑人领袖们并不支持种族隔离,他们的对外宣传完全是谎言。
P163:For the editor's benefit, he read notes of King's quotations on Tillich and Kant,
误:得益于编辑的便利,他阅读了本子上记录的金在《论蒂利希和康德》一文中的摘句
正:他当着编辑的面阅读了金对于田立克、康德乃至于尼采的引述。
分析:for one’s benefit有“特意为某人做某事”之意
P163:And while hostile readers could draw from it inferences that King was uppity and devious, as Johnson himself believed, the tone of the article was generally neutral.
误:尽管充满敌意的读者可能从中得出推论,认定金是一个自命不凡而狡猾的人,但约翰逊本人相信,文章的语气基本上是中性的。
正:尽管充满敌意的读者可能通过这篇文章得出推论,认定金是一位傲慢自负且满腹机关之辈——约翰逊本人也这么认为——但是文章的语气基本上是中性的。
P164:That same week, Police Commissioner Sellers told the Jaycees that the boycott was continuing only because white citizens were "sitting by.'
误:就在同一周,警务专员塞勒斯告诉杰西斯……
正:警务专员塞勒斯告诉美国青年商会……
P164:Some of the white women who needed the services of their maids badly enough to drive them to and from Rufus Lewis' car-pool pickup spots seized upon the commissioner's story, saying that they transported the maids only to protect them from the goon squads--not, of course, to support the boycott.
误:一些急需女佣的白人妇女忍无可忍,直接开着私家车来到鲁弗斯.路易斯的拼车载客点接送女佣。城市专员抓住这件事做文章说,她们的接送行为只是为了保护女佣,使之免受打手队的恐吓,绝不是支持抵制运动。
正:一些急需女佣的白人妇女忍无可忍,直接开着私家车来到鲁弗斯.路易斯的拼车载客点接送女佣。为了给自己的行为找个台阶,她们拿着市政专员散布的反抵制运动宣传做起了文章:她们的接送行为绝不是对于抵制运动的支持,只是为了保护女佣免受打手队的恐吓。
分析:误译主语不清
P166:Fortified by such hope, King placed calls to the MIA leadership.
误:经过这样的分析,找到嫌疑人的希望大大增加。金挨个儿给MIA的领导人打电话。
正:怀抱着这样的希望,金打电话通知了蒙改联的整个领导层。
分析:Fortified并非修饰hope
P166:No one rallied to the settlement as inevitable. They all denounced it.
误:他们都认为和解是不可能的,并且都反对和解
正:没有人主张和解不可避免,所有人都声称反对和解。
P167:This was Saturday night. By virtue of Rowan's warning, they had a chance to catch large numbers of their fellow citizens at the only traditional Negro meeting places other than the churches.
误:这是周六的晚上,罗文警告,黑人的传统聚会场所除了教堂外还有这些地方,金他们能在这里找到大量的同胞。
正:罗文的警告带来了翻盘的契机:除了教堂以外,路边夜店也是黑人的传统聚会场所。金他们能在这里找到大量同胞。
P167:King and his coterie of prim preachers must have made quite a sight as they shouldered their way into the flesh and the noise,
误:当金和那几个古板拘谨的传教士挤进这些声色犬马的地方时,他们不得不尽力把所有人的视线吸引到自己身上来。
正:当金带领着几名古板拘谨的布道人挤进这些声色犬马的场所时总会一下子就吸引住所有人的视线。
P167:The bus company manager announced tersely that there was "no noticeable increase on the Negro routes.'
误:公交公司经理的声明很简洁:“没有增加黑人线路。”
正:公交公司经理的声明很简洁:“黑人线路乘客数量没有增加。”
P167:Mayor Gayle immediately issued what Joe Azbell, on the next day's front page, called a "dynamic statement.'
误:市长盖尔立即发表声明,由《广告报》的编辑乔.阿兹贝尔在第二天的头版做了报道,后者将其冠以“变来变去的声明”
正:盖尔立即发表了声明。《广告报》编辑乔.阿兹贝尔在第二天头版上评价道,这篇声明写得“活力十足”。
P167:The Negroes believed they had "the white people hemmed up in a corner,' said the mayor,
误:市长又说,黑人认为他们一直“被白人围困在角落里”
正:以至于黑人还以为他们“已经将白人逼进了死角”
P169:The city would almost certainly deny Lewis' application for a franchise, however, lest it be accused of donating the economic benefits of segregation to the Negroes.
误:然而,市政府几乎可以肯定会驳回路易斯对特许经营权的申请,因为只有这样才能避免隔离主义者的指责,认为他们把公交运营的经济效益分赠给黑人。
正:当然,市政府几乎一定会驳回刘易斯的特许经营权申请,否则的话必然会有人指责市政府不该将种族隔离带来的经济效益分赠给黑人。
分析:分不清主语宾语似乎是166-169页译者的顽疾。
P172:after finally accepting the fact that it was too complicated and too late in the evening to get King out on a property bond,
误:但那天晚上,阿伯纳斯不得不接受这样一个事实,这件事太复杂,而且,也来不及当晚就拿出足够的保释金。
正:但是最终他不得不接受事实:这件事太复杂,轻易解决不了,而且当天已经太晚,就算缴纳保释金也不能放人了。
分析:没有搞清楚too late in the evening修饰什么
P172:Leaving, he passed carloads of Dexter members and MIA supporters who were converging on the jail.
误:他离开时,经过关满德克斯特会员和抵制运动支持者的监牢
正:走出监狱之后他看到一车一车的德克斯特会众与蒙改联支持者已经围堵了监狱大门。
分析:误译搞错了 converging on the jail的意思。Converge为汇聚之意。
P172:He held himself in check even when he began to realize that now it was the jailer, not he, who was frightened--a large crowd of Negroes had practically surrounded the building.
误:当一大群黑人几乎包围监狱时,他控制住了自己,因为他意识到,这时候感到害怕的不再是他而是狱卒。
正:即便当他意识到看守比他更害怕的时候——因为四面八方赶来的黑人已经包围了监狱——他也依旧没有流露出多少情绪。
分析:误译搞错了逻辑关系。
P172:It was some time later, at that night's mass meeting, before Abernathy caught up with the switches and reversals that rendered his cash unnecessary.
误:后来,到晚上的群众集会时,阿伯纳斯才知道这次事件的变化和逆转,于是退还了已经不再需要的担保现金
正:当天再晚些时候,阿博纳西在一场弥撒大会上得知了事态的逆转。他辛苦筹集的现金这一回可是用不着了。
分析:原文没有提到退还现金的做法。
P173:The phone rang again. "Listen, nigger,' said the caller, "we'vee taken all we want from you. Before next week you'll be sorry you ever came to Montgomery.' King hung up on the angry voice.
误:金怒吼着挂断了电话。
正:对面怒火满腔的声音还没有住口,金就把电话挂上了。
分析:误译不理解Hang up on的用法。
P173:Some of the Negro callers were just curious about his arrest, while others wanted to complain about the car pool. He never knew what to expect.
误:……他对打来的电话从来没有指望过什么。
正:……他从来都猜不到下一个电话的内容会是什么。
P173:The sensations of the incoming images pressed in upon him--the hatred of the whites, the burdened, offended rectitude of the middle-class Negroes, the raw courage or neediness of the plain folk.
误:电话传递过来的画面变成种种压力集中在他身上——对白人的仇恨,过重的负担,得罪了正直的中产阶级黑人,有勇无谋或穷困潦倒的普通百姓。
正:每一通电话都伴随着一幅意象,每一幅意象都在向他步步紧逼——白人的仇恨与憎恶,中产阶级黑人在重压之下的耿介态度,以及普通百姓的淳朴勇气或者穷困潦倒。
分析:the hatred of the whites是白人的仇恨而不是仇恨白人。offended在原文做形容词修饰rectitude,至多只能翻译成“遭到得罪的正直”
P175:For reasons of tactical consistency, they resolved to tell both the city fathers and their own followers that the boycott would continue as a separate matter.
误:为了保证战术的一致性,他们决定通知城市里所有的牧师和他们的教友,抵制运动和发起诉讼各自独立运作。
正:为了保证战术步伐一致,他们决定通知蒙哥马利的白人当权者以及他们自己的追随者,抵制运动将会独立于联邦诉讼继续进行。
分析:这应该是误译第二次搞错city father的用法。
P176:"We are checking on that now,' said a miserable Abernathy, who had wanted to have the answer before telling King.
误:“我们正在核实。”阿博纳西痛苦地回答道,他本来想在金开口之前就能得到答案的。
正:“我们正在核实。”阿博纳西痛苦地回答道,他本来想在告诉金之间就得到答案的。
P177:Bombers were loose,
误:扔炸弹的人是无组织的
正:扔炸弹的行凶者尚未归案
P179:She was deeply moved to hear that King, with all his strength, needed her.
误:金尽力让妻子知道自己有多么需要她,柯瑞塔被深深地打动了。
正:尽管他并不缺乏力量,但是依然需要她的扶持。这番话深深地打动了柯瑞塔。
P179:February dawned cold and dangerous.
误:2月寒冷的黎明危机四伏
正:二月份不仅天气寒冷,而且危机四伏。
分析:dawn在此做动词,取降临、到来之意
P179:Jeanatta Reese, who worked as a maid for one of the mayor's relatives, broke down under the pressure as visitors of both races trampled a path to her door, urging her to stick to the contrary assurances she had given them.
误:吉纳塔.里斯在市长的一个亲戚家当女佣,此前,两个种族主义者径直找上门来,强迫她做出并遵守违心承诺,在这样的压力下,她崩溃了。
正:这位女性名叫吉纳塔.里斯(Jeanatta Reese),原本在市长亲戚家帮佣。此前黑白双方的访客都踏破了她家的门槛,强迫她做出了许多相互矛盾的承诺。如此巨大的压力致使她陷入了崩溃。
P180:Three days later, white students rioted at the University of Alabama against the court-ordered admission of the first Negro student in the school's history.
误:三天后,白人学生在亚拉巴马大学发动暴乱,在学校执行法令的命令,允许历史上的第一名黑人学生入学。
正:三天后白人学生在阿拉巴马大学发动了暴乱,因为法院下令大学接纳建校以来的第一名黑人学生奥瑟琳.露西(Autherine Lucy)入学。
分析:误译完全不通。
P181:He opened up two-way traffic with movement tacticians of the outside world, bringing with him experiences and influences far beyond the confines of the Negro church spirit that had sustained the boycott thus far.
误:他与外地的运动家开辟了“双车道交通”,这个为他带来经验的行动,其影响力远远超越了黑人教会精神的局限,而后者真正是抵制运动持续至今的精神支撑。
正:他在抵制运动战术家与外部世界之间开辟了一条双向车道。至今一直在支撑抵制运动的黑人教会精神自有其局限,拉斯廷则为抵制运动带来了远远超越局限之外的经验与影响力。
分析:bringing with him experiences and influences是“某人带来了经验与影响力”而不是“给某人带来经验”。
P181:Unlike its grimy sister city of Chester, site of Crozer Seminary, the town had all the advantages of enlightened wealth. It was the home of an influential Quaker meeting, to which the Rustins belonged, and of experiments in progressive, integrated education.
误:不像脏兮兮的姐妹城市切斯特(克劳泽神学院所在地),西切斯特市拥有开明富裕城市的所有优点。拉斯廷家的房子还是一个有一定影响力的贵格会的礼拜会地点。拉斯廷就是在那里接受了完整而进步的教育实验。
正:与脏兮兮的姐妹城市切斯特(也就是克罗兹神学院的所在地)不同,西切斯特具有开明富裕城市的所有优点。这座城市是一家颇有影响力的贵格会集会的所在地,拉斯廷一家都是该集会的成员。此外这里还进行了许多种族融合教育进步实验。
分析:误译当中之所以出现“拉斯廷家的房子”,恐怕是看到了“home……to which the Rustins belonged”。但是这句话里的It只能指代上一句话里的the town。
P182:Since his birth, all the family members had created the fiction that an illegitimate grandson was a legitimate son.
误:自从他出生以后,所有的家庭成员一起创作了一部小说,一部关于非法的孙子是合法的儿子的小说。
正:自从他出生以后,所有的家庭成员就共同维持了一副假相,将非婚生的外孙打扮成了婚生的儿子。
分析:误译对于fiction一词的理解只能用生吞活剥来形容。
P182:When the Depression and family poverty forced him out of college……
误:大学时,拉斯廷因为抑郁症和家庭经济困难,不得不中途退学
正:大萧条致使拉斯廷一家陷入了贫困,他本人也不得不离开了大学
分析:Depression首字母大写即作为专门历史术语使用。
P182:Faithful to the spirit of the International, Rustin learned an amazing assortment of workers' songs, English madrigals, and folk classics.
误:忠于国际劳工联盟的拉斯廷学到了一种惊人的歌种。这种歌混合了工人歌曲、英语牧歌与民歌
正:忠于共产国际精神的拉斯廷在这一时期学会了数量惊人的多种歌曲,包括工人歌曲、英格兰牧歌与经典民谣。
分析:韦氏词典当中assortment 的定义是 a collection of assorted things or persons,因此译文应为“多种”而不是“一种”。
P183:FOR leaders, recognizing that pacifist recruitment was going nowhere so long as Hitler was making war, decided to emphasize the anti-colonial aspects of Gandhian nonviolence.
误:……于是他们决定强调反殖民运动中甘地的非暴力主义。
正:……于是他们决定强调甘地非暴力主义的反殖民侧面。
P183:by example the hard-drinking, cigar-smoking, woman-chasing Shridharani taught the wide-eyed young Americans that Gandhian politics did not require a life of dull asceticism
误:奚里哈兰尼让大眼睛的年轻美国人知道,甘地主义政治并不要求过沉闷禁欲的生活,他们无须避忌喝醉酒、抽雪茄、追女人这类行为。
正:此外奚里哈兰尼并不忌讳喝酒抽雪茄,而且还是个情场老手。他以身作则地表明了甘地主义政治并不等同于沉闷禁欲的生活方式。这套做派让两位美国年轻人看得眼珠子都要掉出来了。
分析:wide-eyed直接翻译成大眼睛未免不知所云。
P184:White opponents met the challenge with beatings, and Rustin was among those convicted under local segregation laws.
误:怀有敌意的白人用殴打来应对黑人的挑战,然而,拉斯廷他们却因违反当地种族隔离法而被定罪。
正:怀有敌意的白人用殴打来应对黑人的挑战,并且给很多自由乘车运动参与者都扣上了违反当地种族隔离法的罪名,拉斯廷也位列其中。
分析:原文上下句是承接关系而不是转折关系。
P186:That night they took a unanimous recommendation to a huge mass meeting at St. John's A.M.E. Church. Of four thousand people in attendance, only two voted to end the boycott on the city's terms.
误:那天晚上他们一致决议,要在圣约翰AME教堂举行一场大型群众集会,这个将有4000人参加的集会的任务是对政府给出的结束抵制的条件进行投票,票面只有接受和不接受两个选项。
正:那天晚上他们在圣约翰非裔卫理圣公会教堂举行的一场大规模弥撒大会上给出了执行委员会的一致意见。这次弥撒大会共有四千余人参加,其中只有两个人投票表示应当按照市政府的条件结束抵制。
分析:不理解怎么犯出来的低级错误。
P186:The next morning, Abernathy formally notified the city of the MIA's decision by telegram.
误:第二天早上,阿伯纳斯将执行委员会的决定用电报正式通知全市的MIA。
正:第二天早上,阿博纳西通过电报向市政府通报了蒙改联的决定。
分析:notify直接跟宾语,of后面跟状语。
P187:Volunteer guards stood outside even though, as Rustin had learned to his disappointment, King and his family were out of town.
误:虽然志愿者站在屋外守着,但金和他的家人在城外,而拉斯廷早就学会了接受自己的失望。
正:尽管拉斯廷十分失望地得知金家人全都不在蒙哥马利,但是住宅外面依然站着很多负责警戒的志愿者。
P187:The dollar amount of this ambition had been for some time the centerpiece of Daddy King's self-description in church programs, and it would remain so until he did something even bigger.
误:一段时间以来,作为老金本人描述的教堂计划的核心部分,他一直在做工作,而且,在老金的心目中,这个很有野心的数额只能多不能少。
正:一段时间以来,每当金老爹描述教会发展规划的时候,总会将这个雄心勃勃的贷款金额当成规划核心。直到日后他取得更大的成就之前,这笔贷款的意义都将无可替代。
分析:误译当中的“只能多不能少”大概对应原文的something even bigger,但是something even bigger是he did的宾语,并不是贷款金额。
P188:M.L. could hear for himself what they had to say.
误:为了他自己,金也许会愿意听他们的话。
正:金可以亲耳听听他们有什么话想说。
P188:Daddy King repeated his speech for their benefit.
误:金的父亲重申了关于他们的利益的讲话。
正:金老爹向各位客人重复了一遍回家路上的发言。
P189:the news flashed that he had actually traded jokes with the deputy who arrested him.
误:新闻快讯说,实际上他已经让执行逮捕的警官成了大家的笑柄
正:按照新闻快讯的说法,这位老人还有说有笑地与逮捕他的警察相互调侃了几句。
P189:Some of the arriving smiles were forced, but the ones on leaving jail were always genuine.
误:一些带着微笑来的人是被迫的,但在离开监狱的时候又总是真诚的。
正:前来自首时不少人脸上的微笑都是硬挤出来的,但是缴纳完保释金离开监狱时每一个人脸上的微笑都是真诚的。
P192:As an exhibition of the latter, Rustin had in mind his first visit to the King home, when he shouted to stop someone from sitting on a loaded pistol that was lying on the couch.
误:说到后者,就像一个展览,拉斯廷脑子里浮现出他第一次到金家时的情形:一个人看到他,立刻端起沙发上已经上了子弹的手枪,拉斯廷大叫着阻止了这个人的进一步动作
正:说到后者,拉斯廷提到了他第一次造访金家时的情形:客厅沙发上随随便便地扔着一把已经上了膛的手枪,有个人差点就一屁股坐在手枪上面,还是拉斯廷大叫着阻止了他。
P192:King spoke knowledgeably of figures like Muste
误:金讲话时头头是道的样子和马斯特一样
正:而且金在谈论马斯特等人的时候也说得头头是道。
分析:按照误译,原文应为King spoke knowledgeably like Muste
P193:He had become fixated on a desire to transfer his informal role personally to the new nonviolence tactician from the FOR staff.
误:过去,他曾是FOR的一名成员,但是现在,他渴望扮演新的角色,那就是一个以独立非正式身份成为非暴力主义战术策略家,他已经变得相当迷恋于这个愿望。
正:直到目前他在抵制运动当中都只是一位非正式的个人顾问,现在他却越发痴迷于为自己争取一个有名分的角色,成为来自和解团契的非暴力主义战术家。
P195:The President asked FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover to present a classified briefing about race on March 9, 1956,
误:总统要求联邦调查局局长J.埃德加.胡佛于1956年3月9日提交一份有关种族分类通报
正:总统要求联邦调查局局长J.埃德加.胡佛在1956年3月9日的内阁会议上提交一份有关种族问题的保密简报。
分析:误译理解错了classified一词。
P196:Hoover stopped short of saying that Republican civil rights legislation would reflect Communist influence
误:胡佛说,共和党的民权立法将反映共产党的影响力,但他的话到这里就戛然而止。
正:不过胡佛并没有进一步公然声称共和党的民权立法将会反映共产党的影响力。
分析:stop short of意为to decide not to do something, or to almost do something, or partly do something without completing it
P197:In the interim, Adams benefited by the release of the "Southern Manifesto,' which equated integration with subversion of the Constitution and pledged the entire region to fierce resistance.
误:……该宣言颠覆宪法的整合,并对整个地区承诺将发起激烈的反抗。
正:……该宣言声称种族融合运动等同于颠覆宪法,还一口咬定整个南方地区都将激烈反抗种族融合运动。
P197:The document was signed by some ninety Southern congressmen and all the senators except the two Tennessee mavericks, Estes Kefauver and Albert Gore, and the Senate Majority Leader, Lyndon Johnson of Texas.
误:签署该文件的议员中,90名是南方国会议员,其中包括全部南方州参议院议员;
正:来自南方各州的九十名众议院议员与全部参议院议员署名支持这份文件,
P197:He managed to weaken a few of Brownell's proposals and to make sure that when the bill was submitted to Congress, it came from the Attorney General and not, as was customary for major bills, from the President.
误:他设法削弱几个布劳内尔的建议,并确保其依照重大法案的惯例提交给国会时,人们确信它只是来自总检察长,而不是来自总统的立场。
正:他设法削弱了布劳内尔的几条建议的力度,并确保法案提交给国会人们都会认为该法案仅仅出自司法部长之手,而不是依照重大法案的惯例来自总统。
P198:He committed these judgments to print, along with many others that offended his white readers.
误:他承诺,会把这些判断和许多其他得罪白人读者的内容都在报纸上付印。
正:他将这些判断以及许多其他得罪白人读者的内容全都刊登在了自家报纸上。
分析:韦氏词典对commit的定义是to put into a place for disposal or safekeeping。
P198:From England came Keith Kyle of the London Economist
误:英国《伦敦经济学家》派来的是基思.凯尔
正:……《经济学家》的基思.凯尔
分析:做中英翻译而不知道《经济学家》的正式名称恐怕有些说不过去。
P201:The MIA cases might wind up in the U.S. Supreme Court, King reasoned, where the NAACP lawyers had an unsurpassed record in civil rights cases.
误:MIA的案子可能会在美国最高法院结案,金的理由是,NAACP律师在那里漂亮地打赢过一场民权案件诉讼。
正:根据金的盘算,蒙改联的诉讼很可能会被呈交给美国最高法院,而协进会律师在最高法院打赢民权案件官司的记录可谓无人能比,因此很有必要与协进会保持良好关系。
分析:an unsurpassed record in civil rights cases绝不止有一桩案子。
P204:Thousands of dollars had in fact been misappropriated out of the MIA treasury, as car-pool drivers and assorted hustlers were charging the MIA for oceans of gasoline and truckloads of imaginary spare tires.
误:实际上,MIA账户上的那几千美元确实被挪用,用来支付拼车系统司机和各色骗子的海量汽油和想象出来的卡车备胎的费用。
正:确实有上千美元从蒙改联财务部挪用了出去,因为有些拼车司机与各式各样的骗子经常信口开河地虚报油耗与备胎消耗数量。假如他们所言属实,那么他们消耗的汽油足以灌满大海,他们磨坏的备胎简直要用卡车来装载。
分析:海量汽油是虚报数量而不是实际消耗数量,此外误译大概把truckload看成truck了。
P205:The defection and swift decapitation of Fields demonstrated that public criticism of the MIA would not only be seized upon by white opponents but also taken as a personal criticism of King, which would not be tolerated.
误:菲尔兹的叛变以及对他的迅速铲除表明,既不能对MIA进行公开批评,以防白人对手拿来做文章;也不能批评金个人,否则就是不可容忍的事情。
正:菲尔兹的叛变以及针对他的迅速镇压表明,针对蒙改联的公开批评不仅会让白人们抓住把柄,还会被视为针对金的人身攻击,而这两者都是不可容忍的。
P206:King, more conscious than ever of seniority and protocol among leaders, told Nixon that he did not want to testify unless Roy Wilkins approved.
误:在众多老资历和讲究礼节的领导人中,金表现得更加清醒。他告诉尼克松自己不想去做证,除非得到罗伊.威尔金斯的批准。
正:此时的金比以往任何时候都更清楚论资排辈与礼数周到对于领导人之间的交往意味着什么,于是他告诉尼克松,除非得到罗伊.威尔金斯的首肯,否则他不想赴会陈词。
206:The ever-repentant Graetz later confessed to a fleeting surge of pride in his son's combative spirit.
误:格雷茨对此从不后悔,后来他还承认,对于儿子的好斗情绪,他当时有一种瞬间激增的自豪感。
正:向来惯于自省自责的格雷茨后来承认,儿子的斗争精神令他心里陡然涌起了一阵自豪感。
分析:误译正好将ever-repentant理解反了。
P207:Cabinet secretary Maxwell Rabb replied perfunctorily for the President that "the situation in Montgomery has been followed with interest.'
误:内阁部部长马克斯韦尔.拉布敷衍地回答总统说:“一直在关注蒙哥马利的局势。”
正:内阁秘书马克斯韦尔.拉布敷衍地代表总统回答道,“蒙哥马利的局势始终受到关注”。
P207:"We must recognize that it is reason alone that will determine our rate of progress,' Stevenson replied to Wilkins, who proceeded to denounce the candidate's blithe vagueness in such blistering language that Stevenson's friend Eleanor Roosevelt threatened to resign from the board of the NAACP.
误:威尔金斯还指责这位总统候选人史蒂文森的轻率暖昧,言辞激烈,以至于史蒂文森的朋友埃莉诺.罗斯福威威胁要退出NAACP的董事会。史蒂文森回复威尔金斯说:“我们必须认识到,这是唯一决定我们竞选进展的问题。”
正:他回应道:“我们必须认识到,理性是决定进步速率的唯一因素。”不依不饶的威尔金斯继续措辞激烈地指责史蒂文森发言轻佻暧昧,气得史蒂文森的朋友埃莉诺.罗斯福威胁要退出协进会的董事会。
分析:rate of progress与竞选无关。denounce the candidate's blithe vagueness in such blistering language,blithe vagueness指代the candidate,blistering language修饰denounce,两者不能并列。
P207:In October, Stevenson's concern over the issue prompted his appearance at a rally in Harlem, where he criticized as too passive Eisenhower's statement that it "makes no difference' what he thought personally of the Supreme Court's school desegregation decision. "I support this decision!' cried Stevenson.
误:10月份,史蒂文森对事件的关注促使他参加哈莱姆的一个集会,在那里他批评艾森豪威尔的声明过于被动,等于“什么也没做”,这让他想起最高法院做出的在学校废除种族隔离的决定。“我支持这个决定!”史蒂文森哭了。
正:到了10月份,担心种族问题会影响选情的史蒂文森参加了在哈莱姆区举行的一场集会,在集会现场他批评艾森豪威尔总统的公开声明过于被动,以至于无论总统本人对于最高法院废除学校内部种族隔离的裁决抱有怎样的支持态度都“无关紧要”。然后他高声叫道:“而我支持这项判决结果!”
P207:His supporters argued that his statement set him apart from Eisenhower as more friendly to Negroes, while his detractors replied that it meant little for a candidate to say he supported the law of the land, as did Eisenhower, while refusing to say what he would do to enforce it.
误:他的支持者认为,他的发言把他和艾森豪威尔区分开来,让人感觉他对黑人更友好;而他的批评者说,这意味着没有候选人会说,我支持国家的法律,但同时拒绝表态将如何执行它。而艾森豪威尔就是这么做的。
正:史蒂文森的支持者认为这段发言彰显了他与艾森豪威尔的不同,体现了他对待黑人的更友善立场。而他的批评者则反唇相讥,认为身为总统竞选人这样空口说白话实在很没意思,因为他就像艾森豪威尔一样口口声声表示自己支持依法办事,但同时却又拒绝表明自己将要采取怎样的手段将法律落到实处。
P208:Eisenhower made scathing private remarks about the "mid-Victorian style' of the Suez attack. If the United States supported such blatant colonialism, he said, the reaction "might well array the world from Dakar to the Philippine Islands against us.'
误:艾森豪威尔就苏伊士运河袭击发表了“维多利亚中期时代风格式”严厉的个人评论。如果美国支持这种公然的殖民主义,他说:“反击很可能在全世界从达喀尔到菲律宾群岛排着队来对付我们。”
正:艾森豪威尔在私密场合严厉抨击了苏伊士运河袭击事件,认为这种做法“完全是维多利亚时代中期的蛮横做派”。如果美国支持这种公然的殖民主义行径,那么“从达喀尔到菲律宾群岛的世界各地恐怕都会成为我们的对头。”
P208:It would shift all the advantages of judicial delay from the MIA to the city.
误:法律裁决的滞后性令所有优势从MIA一方转向城市政府一方。
正:这样一来,法律裁决滞后性带来的优势就会从蒙改联一方转向市政府一方。
P215:At 2:30 A.M. on January 10, the day the conference was to begin,Mother King shook Abernathy awake to take an emergency phone call.
误:1月1 0日的子夜2点30分,会议才刚开始,金的母亲摇醒阿伯纳斯接听一个紧急电话。
正:1月1 0日凌晨2点30分,也就是会议即将开始当天,老金夫人摇醒了阿博纳西,让他赶紧下床接听一个紧急电话。
分析:to begin是即将开始。从常理推断也不会在凌晨召开会议。
P217:City inspectors, granting Abernathy's desperate wish to hold Sunday services there, stipulated wisely that no one was to go upstairs, as their weight might cause the temporary beams to collapse.
误:他们借口人的体重可能会导致临时支架倒塌,不允许任何人上楼,阿伯纳斯一度因此而感到绝望,因为他有可能无法在礼拜堂举行主日仪式。阿伯纳斯同意了监察员的指令。
正:市政府的安全监察员们也很体谅阿博纳西希望在教堂里举行周日礼拜活动的迫切愿望,不过他们依然明智地要求教会全体人员不得上楼,因为他们的体重可能会压垮地下室里的临时横梁。阿博纳西同意了。
分析:误译对于人物的情绪理解有误,并且搞错了逻辑关系,大概是因为没有正确理解granting一词。
P217:When the rumor mill passed the word that one of the Graetz bombs had been meant for a Methodist preacher within the MIA, that preacher actually became consumed with regret that he had not been bombed--to the point that he later had a mental breakdown.
误:谣言榨汁机传出这样的消息说,格雷茨家的一个炸弹其实是要针对MIA内部的一名卫理公会牧师,格雷茨因为遗憾没被炸到而越发消沉——到后来他曾一度精神崩溃。
正:不过没多久就有流言声称格雷茨家的两枚炸弹当中有一枚其实并不是为他预备的,而是针对着蒙改联内部的另一位卫理会牧师。这位牧师因为遗憾自己家没被炸到而意气消沉,后来甚至一度陷入了精神崩溃。
P218:Some of King's partisans looked upon Nixon with the same tart condescension that moved one of them publicly to refer to Rosa Parks as "an adornment of the movement.'
误:金的同党对待尼克松尖酸刻薄的俯视态度,就如同有人站出来公开指罗萨.帕克斯为“抵制运动的花瓶”一样。
正:一部分金的党徒们对待尼克松的态度确实非常尖酸刻薄居高临下,以至于他们当中有人居然公开贬斥罗莎.帕克斯无非是“抵制运动的花瓶”。
分析:原文是递进关系而不是并列关系。
P218:A roiling undertow ensured that the MIA would never again play a major part in American racial politics.
误:令人不安的潜流将可能使MIA不再是美国种族政治的重要组成部分。
正:这股浑浊的潜流彻底断绝了蒙改联在美国种族政治领域进一步发挥更重要作用的可能性。
分析:误译忽视了ensure
P220:The Negro population at large had just absorbed a historical reminder of local law and random violence. What little had been lost to the segregationists in the boycott case had since been avenged many times over.
误:大量黑人民众吞下了当地法律和随机暴力的历史性记忆,对于一直以来避受的数倍于此的报复,抵制案对种族隔离主义者的失败简直微乎其微。
正:另一方面,黑人民众整体上吸取了当地法律和随机暴力的历史教训。尽管黑人社区在抵制运动案件的审理过程当中的确被种族隔离主义者占了些许便宜,但是他们在现实生活当中争取得来的成果却远比这点损失大得多。
分析:误译自己大概都看不懂自己翻译了什么。
第六章:
P224:To the horror of his family, Wofford enrolled for two years at Howard University Law School in Washington, becoming the first white student there since the female suffragists of the 1910s.
误:让他的家人震惊的是,他在华盛顿州霍华德大学法学院注册学习了两年,成为该校自1910年女权运动以来的第一个白人学生。
正:接下来他又不顾家里人的极度震惊,前往华盛顿州霍华德大学法学院注册学习了两年,成为该校自从二十世纪最初十年女性投票权运动以来的招收的第一名白人学生。
分析:suffragist是专有名词,不能与女权主义混淆。
P225:Then he found a job at Covington and Burling, Dean Acheson's blue-chip law firm in Washington, where he divided his time between corporate clients and the few scattered souls agitating for integration,
误:……在那里,他主要负责应对大公司客户和那些少数鼓吹整合的灵魂人物,
正:……在那里他一边应付大公司客户,一边与少数鼓吹种族融合的人们打交道,
分析:soul本身就可以指代人。
P225:King was a hero, and as he spoke, representatives of other Negro organizations were rapping on the door.
误:金成了英雄,他一边演说,其他黑人组织的代表就一边有节奏地跺着脚回应他。
正:金成了英雄,他在台上演说的时候台下其他黑人组织的代表都在一下一下地砸门以示应和。
P227:...and Levison personally had raised most of the advertising funds for a Coretta King-Harry Belafonte-Duke Ellington concert a few weeks before Rustin introduced him personally to the Kings.
误:在拉斯廷亲自把利维森介绍给金夫妇之前的几个星期,利维森还亲自为柯瑞塔.金和哈里.贝拉方特在杜克艾灵顿的音乐会募集了绝大部分广告费。
正:在拉斯廷亲自把利维森介绍给金夫妇之前的几个星期,利维森还亲自为柯瑞塔.金、哈里.贝拉方特以及艾灵顿公爵三人联袂出演的音乐会募集了绝大部分广告赞助。
分析:Duke Ellington是美国作曲家,钢琴家,爵士乐大师。
P227:Every morning, Davis arrived ceremoniously in his own chauffeur-driven Pierce-Arrow,
误:每天早晨,戴维斯身着盛装坐着自己的皮尔斯——阿罗汽车到达学院,
正:每天早晨戴维斯都会让自家司机开着一辆皮尔斯阿罗汽车将自己风风光光地送进学院,
分析:误译没看见chauffeur-driven
P229:All this infuriated Ben Davis, who retorted that the Gates faction always blamed the party instead of the reactionaries.
误:所有这一切激怒了本.戴维斯,他反驳说,盖茨派从来不批判,反动派倒总是指责本党。
正:这套说辞激怒了本.戴维斯,他反驳说,盖茨一派只会指责本党,却从来不去批判反动派。
分析:这次是审校的责任。
P229:The convention itself was filled with bitterness and gallows humor, with informants circulating in conspicuous droves.
误:这次大会本身充满了苦涩和黑色幽默,告密者周旋于著名人物中间。
正:大会本身充满了苦涩与黑色幽默,联邦调查局的线人们成群结队地在会场里游荡,周围的人们无不侧目而视。
分析:根据韦氏词典, conspicuous有attracting attention之意,drove有a group of animals driven or moving in a body之意。
P230:Davis welded himself to the contortions and reversals of Soviet strategy for the remaining six years of his life,
误:在6年的职业生涯中,戴维斯把自己和苏联扭曲和颠倒的战略牢牢焊在一起,
正:在人生最后六年的职业生涯中,戴维斯把自己与苏联方面扭曲颠倒的战略牢牢焊在了一起,
P231:King wanted to make his case to Eisenhower personally--and to be seen doing so--but the President ducked
误:金想亲自把他的案子交给艾森豪威尔——看起来也确实这么做了,但总统躲开了
正:金希望在艾森豪威尔面前亲自阐述自己的主张——两人会面的场景还要得到公共宣传——但总统选择了回避。
分析:误译太生硬。
P232:There were three billion people in the world, he grew fond of saying--roughly a billion each in the Soviet and Western blocs, and a third billion in the emerging poorer nations such as Ghana.
误:世界上有30亿人口——他从小就喜欢这么说,苏联和西方集团大致各有10亿,第三个10亿就在加纳这样新兴的贫穷国家中。
正:按照尼克松惯用的叙事口径,全世界共有三十亿人口,苏联集团与西方集团大致各有十亿,剩下的十亿人则居住在加纳这样的新兴贫穷国家。
P232:His experiences in Ghana helped secure his belief that the Zeitgeist, or spirit of the age, was rising to the defense of oppressed peoples.
误:他在加纳的经历帮助他坚定了信念,他的时代精神被提升到为保护被压迫人民的境界。
正:加纳的经历促使他进一步坚定了信念:如今的时代精神正在为世界各地遭受压迫的人民撑腰助力。
P232:As fresh world travelers, he and Coretta returned through Rome, Geneva, Paris, and London, hearing everywhere a clatter about what would become of restive colonies on the southern portion of the globe.
误:一路上,他们到处都听到人们叽叽喳喳地唠叨,说地球南部的殖民地将成为动荡不安的地区。
正:一路上他们到处都能听到人们正在众说纷纭地讨论动荡不安的南半球殖民地面临着怎样的未来。
P233:For King, who was plainly enchanted with the notion of Nkrumah and the duchess “dancing with the lord on an equal plane”, the return trip through London had become almost a journey of temptation.
误:对金来说,显然被恩克鲁玛的见解迷住了,而公爵夫人“在一架平等的飞机上与贵族共舞”的话,更几乎使经伦敦回程成为旅途的一个诱惑。
正:对于金来说,恩克鲁玛与公爵夫人共同构成了一套令他心醉的意象——“在平等的地面上与贵族共舞”——而途径伦敦的返程之旅更是充满了诱惑。
分析:将plane直接翻译成飞机还真是朴实刚健的很。
P234:Wilkins worked the inside game in Washington, where he alone had a staff.
误:威尔金斯独自一人在华盛顿周旋运作。
正:威尔金斯则在华盛顿周旋运作,因为只有他在华盛顿拥有属于自己的办事班子。
P236:Rustin already knew that, but he puzzled over King's ability to move widely divergent audiences with material that seemed suited to a college student's notebook.
误:……金演讲用到的素材似乎只适合于抄录在大学生的笔记本上,但他能借此激励截然不同的广大听众。
正:……哪怕采用看上去摘抄自大学生笔记本的枯燥素材,金依然能轻而易举地打动身份背景差异悬殊的各种听众。
P238:Rustin's logic, to which King acceded, was that King could not discuss the meeting without sounding partisan or risking contradiction from the Administration.
误:为金所认同的拉斯廷的逻辑是,他不能讨论这个无党派之争或者不与政府相悖的会谈。
正:按照拉斯廷的逻辑,金只要谈到会谈内容就难免会卷入党派之争或者与政府方面的宣传相冲突,因此还是尽量打马虎眼为妙。金也认同他的看法。
P241:This diplomatic mimicry was small consolation to Wilkins
误:这种模仿外交的方式对威尔金斯是一个小小的安慰,
正:尽管金的手腕如此圆熟,但却并不能给威尔金斯带来多少安慰。
P243:In a wild radio speech, he accused white soldiers from the "occupation forces' of following the female Negro students into the girls' bathrooms at Central High.
误:在一次不着边际的广播讲话中,他指责“占领军”中的白人士兵,说他们居然允许黑人女学生进入中央高中的女浴室。
正:在一次不着边际的广播讲话中,他指责“占领军”中的白人士兵居然允许黑人女学生使用中央高中的女厕所。
P244:As King struggled against the tide, competition from the NAACP was hardly the sole obstacle he encountered among his own allies.
误:就在金逆势奋斗的时候,来自NAACP的竞争几乎成为他在自己同盟军中遭遇到的唯一障碍。
正:就在金逆势奋斗的时候,来自协进会的竞争很难说是他在同盟当中遭遇到的唯一障碍。
P246:Not long after meeting "a most extraordinary young minister' in Baltimore, Levison had stunned his wife by telling her that Martin King was his only true friend in the world
误:巴尔的摩会议是“一个最不寻常的年轻部长”会议,此后不久,利维森就对妻子说,金是他在世界上唯一真正的朋友,这番话惊呆了他的妻子。
正:在巴尔的摩初次遇到这位“最非凡的青年教士”之后不久,利维森就向愕然无语的妻子宣布马丁.金是他在世界上结交的唯一一位真朋友。
P248:There would be mass meetings, evangelical appeals to the unregistered, then registration classes and support committees for those making the attempt.
误:福音会的群众集会吸引了那些未登记的黑人,接着,人们开始注册类别,并支持委员会所做的那些尝试。
正:计划的内容包括在弥撒大会上言辞恳切地说服尚未登记的黑人采取行动,并且向打算登记的黑人提供登记手续介绍课程,还要成立委员会来支持他们的举动。
P249:While he rejected the notion of justifying future segregation on the basis of its past pernicious effects upon Negroes, he called upon Negroes to improve their conduct.
误:一些观念基于过去施加给黑人的恶性影响,为今后的种族隔离进行了辩护,金对这些观点加以否定的同时,他呼吁黑人提高自己的操行。
正:他一方面基于种族隔离在过去对黑人造成的恶劣影响来反对未来的种族隔离,同时又呼吁黑人要有意识地改进自己的行为表现以免授人以柄。
P253:King's secretary reported that Baker was "a little abrupt' after being told that he was not available to take one of her calls.
误:金对秘书说,他没有接到过任何一个来自贝克的电话,秘书汇报说,贝克“有点莽撞”
正:金的秘书报告称,每当贝克得知金不方便接听电话的时候态度总会变得有点“唐突”。
P255:He struck a positive tone, painting vivid pictures of the beneficial effects the President could set in motion with gestures such as speeches, White House conferences, and simple statements on the moral imperatives of racial integration.
误:他以令人印象深刻的积极语调,把这种力量的作用描绘得生动形象——总统可以在诸如演讲、白宫会议,以及关于种族融合道德要求的简单陈述中,将这种力量辅以手势加以运用就能获得有益的效果
正:他以令人印象深刻的积极语调为总统描绘了一幅生动的画面:总统只需做些姿态就能为民权事业带来极大的裨益,例如公开演讲、白宫会议以及关于种族融合的道义必要性的简单陈述。
P256:...more divisive leaders would emerge if the current ones could not soon point to greater progress.
误:如果这些领袖眼下不能尽快指明取得更大进步的方向,那就会有更多人分裂出去。
正:如果目前的黑人领袖们不能尽快指明取得更大进展的方向,就必然会出现更擅长制造分裂的黑人领袖。
P256:Except for Eisenhower's endorsement of the need for stronger voting rights legislation, nothing was concluded beyond a general agreement that the meeting had been constructive.
误:除了需要艾森豪威尔为投票权立法给予更强有力的支持外,大家一致同意本次会议具有建设性
正:参会人员一致同意本次会议具有建设性,但是本次会面的唯一实际成果就是艾森豪威尔承诺要向投票权立法给予更强有力的支持。
P258:Late on the afternoon of Friday, August 29, 1958,
误:上个星期五,也就是1958年8月29日的晚上,
正:1958年8月29日星期五下午晚些时候,
P260:Inside, a white judge tried to preserve order and a white prosecutor prepared to outline a case brimming with salacious facts, while the audience waited eagerly to hear what the Negro antagonists would say about each other under oath,
误:而观众们则热切地等着听双方黑人律师宣誓说实话之后怎么相互抗辩。
正:听众们热切地期待着控辩双方的黑人当事人宣誓证言属实之后对于彼此有什么说法。
分析:律师用不着宣誓。
P260:King and Coretta, arriving just behind the Abernathys at the courtroom, found that policemen would admit only Abernathy, who waved a subpoena commanding him to appear.
误:金和柯瑞塔紧随阿伯纳斯夫妇之后到达法庭,但他们发现,警察晃着张传票命令阿伯纳斯站出来——他们只允许他一个人入场。
正:金和柯瑞塔紧随阿博纳西夫妇之后到达法庭,但他们发现警察只允许阿博纳西一个人入场,因为他手里挥舞着一张传票。
P262:Locked out instead of in, King soon found himself standing outside city hall alone--blocked from entering the same forbidding place outside town that had so terrified him after his first arrest, and frightened him still.
误:在第一次被逮捕并关进城外监狱时,他曾经非常惊恐,然而,当他被同一个地方拒之门外时,他依然感到害怕。
正:这一回金被锁在了牢门的另一边,很快他就孤零零地站在了市政厅门外。上次遭到逮捕并关进城外的监狱时他曾经一度吓得魂不附体,至今想起来依旧心有余悸。
P264:King was set up behind a desk in the back of the shoe department. To this rather humble setting flocked a number of New York's civic leaders, mostly Negroes and Jews,
误:在鞋品部后面放置了一张桌子,金就坐在桌子后面。络绎不绝的纽约公民——主要是黑人和犹太人,涌向这个谦恭的位置。
正:商场在鞋品部的放置了一张桌子以供金签字。纽约市的民权活动领袖们络绎不绝地涌向了这个略显简陋的场所。
分析:韦氏词典指出humble有 not costly or luxurious之意
P265:Nettie Carter Jackson, Grand Daughter Ruler of the Elks and one of the sponsors of the promotion……
误:埃尔克斯家族的大女儿统治者内蒂·卡特·杰克逊是促销活动的赞助商之一,
正:角鹿社的长女主君内蒂.卡特.杰克逊(Nettie Carter Jackson)是本次签售活动的赞助人之一
分析:维基百科指出Elks的全称是Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks,是一个总部位于纽约的会社组织。
P265:Its hilt protruded from King's chest at a point a few inches below and to the left of the knot in his tie.
误:金的领结左下方几英寸的胸口处露着刀柄,
正:刀刃插进了金的领带打结左下方几英寸的胸口处,只有刀柄还露在外面。
分析:领结是bow tie。
P265:Curry had been raving incoherently about persecution and torture and her anger at King for having undermined her Roman Catholic faith.
误:……她对金的愤怒已经破坏了她的罗马天主教信仰。
正:……她之所以痛恨金则是因为金削弱了她的罗马天主教信仰。
分析:主语不对。
P265:A police matron had discovered a fully loaded Italian automatic inside her blouse.
误:一名警方女舍监在她的上衣里面发现了一把全套装置的意大利全自动**。
正:一名女警还在库里的上衣口袋里面发现了一把上满膛的意大利全自动**。
分析:如此任性的误译我竟无言以对。
P266:She had used an instrument quite different from the kitchen knife common to urban stabbings:
误:她曾经带过一把和普通厨刀完全不同的刀具到城里行刺。
正:城市持刀伤人案件的最常见凶器就是厨房刀具,但是本案的凶器却别具一格。
P275:Even among civil rights activists, Clennon King was slipping away--a kook not worth fighting for.
误:即使身处民权活动家之中,克莱农.金还是在逃遁——一个神经病是不值得为其去战斗的。
正:即便在民权活动家的圈子里,这位克莱农.金(Clennon King)也正在变得越来越不招人待见,因为大家都觉得不值得为了一个神经病强行出头。
P276:He explained that his suggestion was a consequence of the failure by the United States and the Soviet Union to have the "faith and moral courage' to stop the arms race.
误:他解释说,美国和苏联没能用“信仰和道德勇气”停止军备竞赛,正因为美国和苏联都失败了,这才有他的这个建议。
正:在他看来,美国与苏联都没有停止军备竞赛的“信仰与道德勇气”。正因为这两个超级大国都失败了,金才打算提一点不知当不当讲的意见。
P276:King tried to calm their fears, to minimize the risk, to remind them that the true test of Gandhian nonviolence came in the severest trials of one's own life.
误:金试图平息记者们的忧虑,努力降低风险,并力图提醒他们,甘地非暴力的真正考验走进了人们生命中最严厉的审判中。
正:金试图平息记者们的忧虑,努力降低风险,并力图提醒他们,甘地主义非暴力运动的真正考验总会来自最艰难的人生试炼。
P277:All seven were white Protestant men from small towns; six had crew cuts.
误:这7个新教白人男性全部来自小城镇,并且最后裁掉了6人,
正:所谓的“水星七人组”全都是来自小城镇的白人男性新教徒,其中六个人留着平头。
P280:Less spectacular injustices were pressing steadily on King.
误:持续强加在金身上的惊动一时的不公正事件已经不多了。
正:与此同时,远比私刑更为低调的不公正也正在向金步步紧逼。
P281:The SCLC board began searching again for a replacement with the same impossible combination of qualities
误:SCLC董事会又再次开始寻找综合条件完全相同实则绝无可能的替代者。
正:然后领导大会又再次开始寻找他的继任者。最理想的人选必须满足两条完全不可能共存于一身的品质
P288:"Walking the benches' referred to ministers who leaped from the pulpit in mid-sermon to preach ecstatically as they danced up and down the pews, literally stepping over the swooning bodies in the congregation.
误:“走长凳”是指布道讲到一半时,牧师从讲坛上一跃而下欣喜若狂地讲道,同时在长凳间上下起舞,逐个跨过会众中那些昏昏欲倒的身体。
正:“走长椅”是黑人教会的特色之一。布道期间兴奋欲狂的牧师会突然跳下布道坛,手舞足蹈叫地冲进听众席,脚踩长椅靠背凌空行走,从兴奋昏厥的会众头顶上迈过去。
P293:In San Francisco, at the annual convention of the AFL-CIO, A. Philip Randolph spoke from the floor three times in a single day, each time seeking action against official segregation within member unions. This was one time too many for AFL-CIO president George Meany.
误:在旧金山的AFL- CIO年度大会上,A.菲利普.伦道夫一天内在台下发言了3次,每一次都在工会成员中谋求反对官方隔离政策的行动。对AFL-CIO的主席乔治·米尼来说,一次都嫌多。
正:在旧金山的劳联-产联年度大会上,A.菲利普.伦道夫一天内三次在听众席上起身发言,每一次都呼吁工会成员采取反对种族隔离官方政策的切实行动。头两次发言的时候劳联-产联主席乔治.米尼(George Meany)一直按捺着没有表态,到了第三次他终于忍不住发作了。
P293:The demand had more to do with greed and anxiety than with military judgment, he believed, and was subverting both politics and military professionalism.
误:他相信,基于贪婪和焦虑的请求比基于军事判断的请求要走得更远,并且正在颠覆政治和军事职业水准。
正:他相信这些人之所以要求增加军费主要是因为贪婪和焦虑而不是理性的军事判断,而且他们的要求正在颠覆政治和军事两方面的职业操守。
P294:and the prodigious energies he had thrown into a thousand speeches had exposed as an illusion the hope that his larger purpose could be accomplished by political evangelism.
误:而且,他投入上千次演讲中的巨大能量也暴露了他幻想一般的希望,那就是,他更大的目标可以通过政治福音来完成。
正:在职业生涯刚刚起步的时候,他满心以为可以通过政治福音来实现更为宏大的目标,因此他才会毫不吝惜地将大量精力投入上千场演讲中,但是事实却证明他寄托在政治福音身上的希望只是水中捞月而已。
一,涉及政治与意识形态,为了通过审查而有意为之的漏译。包括基督徒之间以兄弟姐妹相称的敬语,涉及“共产主义”一词的语句,等等。
二,对于圣经引文的自行翻译而非选取现有译本。
三,语感较差但语法正确的英语从句译法。
原文前标注的页码均为《分水岭》(以下简称《分》)的页码。正译均选自本人的译本《劈波蹈海》(以下简称《劈》)。
最后再说一句,我很想知道中青译者刻意淡化原文的基督教色彩究竟是为了过审还是因为自身对于基督教不够了解。原著三部曲的标题——Parting the Waters,Pillar of Fire,At Canaan's Edge——对应的分别是旧约当中先知摩西生平三件大事——分开红海带领以色列人逃离埃及,在火柱指引下荒野游荡四十年,临终前望见迦南地而不得入。马丁.路德.金本人也曾在遇害前不久将自己比作摩西。因此我认为《劈波蹈海》是比《分水岭》更贴切的译法。
第一章:
P1:Nearly seven hundred Negro communicants, some wearing white robes, marched together in the exodus of 1867.
误:1867年的黑人大迁徙队伍里有一群将近700人的宗教团体,他们中有些人穿着白袍。
正:1867年,将近七百名黑人教会成员——其中有些人穿着白色长袍——并肩迈步发动了一场远征。
分析:700名黑人是行动主体而不是其中的一部分。
P3: And because those same deacons also made it a tradition to choose the best trained, most ambitious ministers, titanic struggles after the fashion of those between European monarchs and nobles became almost a routine of church life at Dexter.
误:……他们效仿欧洲君主与贵族之间的种种展开巨大争斗。这些成了德克斯特浸信会中的常规事务。
正:……因此德克斯特大道浸信会的教会生活内部充满了足以与欧洲王室政治博弈相提并论的激烈冲突。
分析:after the fashion of在此并无主动效仿的意味。黑人教会并不会主动“效仿欧洲君主与贵族”。
P6:That year Nesbitt went home with the name of a prestigious, highly trained candidate for the vacant pulpit at Dexter--a man further recommended to the church's tastes by his attendance at no less than five colleges, and by the possession of four names, Alfred Charles Livingston Arbouin.
误:……因为他至少在5所学院上过学,并且有4个名字……
正:……另外此人不仅上过五所大学,而且他的名字足有四节……
分析:如果真是四个不同的名字,名字之间应用逗号隔开。
P7:Dexter鈥檚 stolid deacons were accustomed to quality, but in Johns they recognized a mind of a higher order altogether.
误:教堂的执事们原本就很敬业……
正:德克斯特的执事们也算见过世面……
分析:be accustomed to quality无论如何也没有敬业的意思。
P7:Vernon Johns was merely another invisible man to nearly all whites, but to the invisible people themselves he was the stuff of legend.
误:对所有的白人来说,弗农.约翰斯仅仅是一位“隐形人”……
正:黑人在绝大部分白人眼里都是不存在的隐身人,弗农.约翰斯也不能例外……
分析:没有译出another一词。
P8:When Price died about 1900, Sallie Price Johns went to the funeral with her young son Vernon and her husband Willie, son of the hanged slave, and sat through the burial services in a separate-but-equal family section, just across the gravesite from Miss Kitty and the white relatives.
误:……萨丽.普赖斯.约翰斯……重新面对这样一种疏离而又平等的家庭关系,耐着性子坚持完整场葬礼,普赖斯就埋在“凯蒂小姐”和其他白人亲戚的坟墓对面。
正:……一家人坐在“分离但平等”的席位上,凯蒂小姐以及普莱斯的白人亲戚们则坐在他们对面,普莱斯的坟墓就隔在双方中间。
分析:separate-but-equal是描述种族关系的专用名词。此外身为白人的普赖斯也没理由不与其他白人埋在一起。最后“凯蒂小姐”和其他白人亲戚是葬礼的参与者而不是已经下葬的死者。
P8: It lay at the extreme northern boundary of the rich agricultural Black Belt……
误:它坐落在黑人居住区最北部的边界……
正:这个县位于丰饶的农业黑土带的最北部边界……
分析:维基百科Black Belt (U.S. region)词条表明,The term originally described the prairies and dark fertile soil of central Alabama and northeast Mississippi. Because this area was developed for cotton plantations based on enslaved African-American labor, the term became associated with these conditions. 从政治角度翻译成黑人区也无妨,但是原文已经点出了agricultural,因此正确译法应当是黑土带。
P9: Poor eyesight caused him to vow as a youth that he would read the small print of the Bible only once.
误:他视力不佳,所以在年轻时曾经乞求能读一遍小号字体印刷的《圣经》也好。
正:他的视力很差,以至于少年时曾经发誓只肯将小字印刷的圣经阅读一遍。
分析:按照误译,原文应为if he could only read the small print of the Bible once
P9:In later years, he would discard his Latin and Hebrew on aesthetic grounds……
误:后来几年他并没有学习拉丁文和希腊文
正:日后约翰斯将会因为审美口味不合而放弃拉丁语与希伯来语
分析:discard为放弃之意
P10:……he remarked that no country Negro could make the grades Johns was making without cheating.
误:除非作弊,没有哪个国家的黑奴能够取得约翰斯的分数。
正:没有哪个乡下来的黑人能够不靠作弊就取得约翰斯这样的成绩。
分析:Negro是当时对于黑人的政治正确称呼,并没有贬义,更不等同于黑奴。
P10:his brother would often meet him at the station with a fresh horse,
误:他弟弟总是牵着一匹刚出生没多久的马驹在火车站等他,
正:回来时他弟弟经常牵着一匹精神饱满的马匹在车站迎接他。
分析:且不说“刚出生没多久的马驹”能否骑乘,约翰斯每次出门之后家里都要新添马驹也不合常理。
P13:Johns told the chief and his men that the sermon would be open to everyone but that he would be happy to give a preview on the spot, in case they were too intimidated to attend a Negro church.
误:约翰斯告诉局长和警察,布道将会向所有人开放,他相当赞成他们的想法,能立刻来场预演,免得大家太怕进入黑人教堂。
正:约翰斯告诉警察局长和他的部属们,这次布道将会向所有人开放。不过考虑到有些白人兴许没有胆量走进黑人教堂,他也很乐意在各位警官面前现场预演一番。
分析:误译当中的“他相当赞成他们的想法”恐怕是看到he would be happy to 之后的反应。
P17: “I want to pause here in the service, until Dr. Trenholm can get himself seated here on his semi-annual visit to the church.”
误:“讲到这里我要停一下,特伦荷穆博士,您要是能保证每半年来一次,我才能让您在这里坐。”
正:“我想暂停布道,直到特伦霍姆博士坐下来为止。每半年来教堂访问一次的稀客理应得到尊重。”
P18:He named the Alabama State business professors and challenged the congregation to name an actual business to which any of them had ever applied himself.
误:他点名要亚拉巴马州立大学商学院教授回答,还挑战教堂会众,让他们说出一种目前黑人可以效力的商业名称。
正:他点了几位阿拉巴马州立大学商学院教授的名字,并且要求会众们说出哪怕一项他们当中任何一个人曾经亲身经营过的商业活动。
P21:Besides, I get forty calls about fish for every one about religion.
误:此外,因为鱼的问题,我被宗教人士传唤了40次。
正:此外,向我下订单买鱼的电话与向我咨询宗教问题的电话的数量大约是四十比一。
分析:低级错误。
P21:As a deacon known to be personally sympathetic to Johns, and as a member of the minority “Non-teacher clique” that was less hostile toward the preacher, Nesbitt found himself under attack for failing to control Johns, who went on selling produce.
误:……而且他本人也不爱说教,对牧师并没有什么敌意……
正:……作为“非教师派系”少数派的成员,他对于布道人的敌意也没那么大……
分析:前文提到过德克斯特教会大多数成员都是阿拉巴马州立大学教师。
P21:He never opened the pulpit Bibles during his tenure at Dexter, but he wore out at least three of them with his fists.
误:在德克斯特教堂任期内,他从未在讲坛上翻开过圣经,但至少有三次他用尽力气捶在圣经上。
正:他在德克斯特任职期间从未在布道坛上翻看过圣经,但是却用拳头砸烂了至少三本圣经。
分析:wore out有耗损殆尽之意。
P22:……the Ku Klux Klan had burned a cross in his brother’s yard to intimidate the Johns family over a school strike.
误:……在他哥哥家的院子里烧了一座十字架。
正:……在他弟弟的院子里焚烧了一座十字架,
分析:联系下文可知。
P23:NAACP could not sue for better Negro schools--only for completely integrated ones.
误:协进会不能通过诉讼换来更好的黑人学校——除非多所学校作为统一整体进行争取。
正:协进会不能为了提升黑人学校的硬件质量而打官司,只能为了推动彻底种族混合的学校而打官司。
分析:误译完全没有考虑布朗诉托皮卡教育局案件的背景,因此没能正确理解integrated一词。
P24:it was considered a bad sign that ever fewer churchwomen favored the pastor’s house with cooked dishes from their kitchens.
误:从自家厨房拿来饭菜帮助教会的女性会众越来越少。
正:带着亲手烹制的家常菜来到牧师家里串门的女性会众也越来越少见了。
分析:pastor’s house指的是教会为牧师提供的住宅。
P28:She thought it was a fault she shared with her uncle.
误:她认为她一定要帮助伯父分担这次错误带来的后果。
正:她认为她和她大伯都有这个毛病。
第二章:
P30:One odd white thread ran through the whole of it: insofar as the Kings encountered anything better than obstruction in the white world, it could be traced more often than not to the influence of a most unlikely source, John D. Rockefeller.
误:……在金还未在白人世界遭遇阻碍时,却和一位看似最不可能跟他有关联的人联系起来……
正:……如果说金家族在白人的世界里除了阻挠障碍之外还遇到过些许善意与扶持,那么后者往往要归结于一位极其出人意料的大人物的影响力……
分析:原句中的Kings指代的不是一个人,而是全体金家人。anything better than obstruction字面意为“比阻碍更好的事物”,而非“尚未遇到阻碍”。
P31: Only he and a few partners knew that he had invented that very year the secret network of interlocking stock pledges--called a trust--through which he would levy a monopoly fee on the industrial development of the entire country.
误:……在那一年他创造了自己的股票抵押秘密关系网——也称为信托……
正:……他在那一年发明了一套相互连锁的股票质押秘密网络——他称其为托拉斯……
P31:The Baptists were descended from the Anabaptists of sixteenth-century Germany, who had rebelled against Martin Luther for not going far enough in his break with the Catholic Church.
误:那里的施洗礼者要追溯到16世纪的德国再洗礼派,作为背叛马丁.路德的一群人,在与天主教教堂分离后并没有走得很远。
正:浸信会的前身是十六世纪德国的再洗礼派。这一教派反对马丁.路德,认为他未能与天主教会彻底分道扬镳。
分析:误译的语法理解能力欠缺与宗教知识欠缺可谓相得益彰。
P32:At the time, no one realized that this strategic acquisition would make the twentieth-century demographics of Atlanta unique among American cities.
误:这次战略性的收购将会让亚特兰大20世纪的人口在美国城市中雄踞榜首
正:当时谁也没有意识到这项战略收购将使得二十世纪的亚特兰大具备在美国城市当中独一无二的人口分布。
分析:误译错误理解了demographic与unique的意思。
P34:……as whites in the South and North generally agreed that there were more important things to do in the world than to contend with each other over the status of the Negro, which was then fixed by science as lowly.
误:……南方白人与北方白人都觉得与黑人竞争实在是有伤体面……
正:……因为南方和北方的白人普遍认同了以下观点:在这世界上还有更重要的事情需要关注,一味为了黑人的地位而争斗不休实在没什么意思……
分析:按照误译,原文应为contend with Negro
P34:The reigning idea was that racial quarrels, while accomplishing nothing since the Civil War, had interfered with business, diverted reform campaigns from more productive fields, and hindered America’s new efforts to win a commanding position in the battle for global influence.
误:当时流行的理念是种族纷争——这个自从内战后就没有一点改善……
正:北方的主流观点认为种族纷争自从内战之后就再也没有带来任何实际好处……
P37:Mike King, later known as Martin Luther King, Sr., and still later as Daddy King, met her while she was studying there.
误:迈克.金以后会更名为大家所熟知的大马丁.路德.金,再以后被人称作金爸爸。
正:迈克.金——日后的老马丁.路德.金以及更久之后的金老爹
分析:兄弟之间才论大小,如大格拉古与小格拉古。父子之间要论老小。误译差了一辈。
P38:He became a professional preacher in the time-honored manner of the ambitious former slaves, before he had been inside a church that could afford an organ.
误:……从前他还去过穷得只能购买一架风琴的教堂。
正:……早在他第一次踏进一座买得起管风琴的教堂大门之前……
分析:风琴是昂贵的奢侈品,不是随便一家教会就能买得起的。
P40:let there be a brick house
误:要有一座砖场。
正:要有一座砖房子。
P43:I like your frankness, but do you think that more people will criticize you on account of my wealth than will criticize me on account of your theology?
误:……但是如此一来更多人会因为你倚仗我的财富来批评你,却不会再由于你的神学理论而批评我,你不认为是这样吗?
正:……但是你认为因为我的财富而骂你的人就一定会比因为你的神学观点而骂我的人更多吗?
P45:By this she meant that at Ebenezer she could never take the place of her mother.
误:在埃比尼泽教堂她永远也不想取代她母亲的位置。
正:换句话说她认为自己永远不能在以便以谢教会取代她的母亲。
分析:“不能”与“不想”不应混淆。
P48:Few people seemed to resent his manner, partly because it was common to ministers and mostly because he produced.
误:很少有人讨厌他的性情,一部分原因是处于认为认为这性情是牧师普遍有的,而大部分原因则是由于这正是他个人表现出来的。
正:金的言论看似自吹自擂,可是厌恶这套说辞的人却非常有限。部分原因在于当时的黑人教士大都是这个路数,但更主要的原因在于金的每一句炫耀都有实绩支撑。
分析:误译对于produce的理解不够深。
P49:There he visited biblical sites in Jerusalem, Bethlehem, and elsewhere……
误:在那里他游览了《圣经》中提到的耶路撒冷的一些著名地点,比如耶稣诞生地伯利恒……
正:在这里他寻访了耶路撒冷、伯利恒以及其他多处圣经故址……
分析:耶路撒冷与伯利恒是两个相互独立的城市,不是上下级关系。
P51:……when greeted by white people at the Chicago Opera, (he)often gave a pathetic mumbo-jumbo reply in the hope that he would be taken for an African diplomat instead of an American.
误:在芝加哥歌剧院白人迎接他的时候,他要说出感伤又莫名其妙的话,以传达一种期望:他希望人们把他当成美国外交官,而不是非洲外交官。
正:每当他去芝加哥歌剧院看戏的时候遇到白人观众向他打招呼,他总会含糊其辞地混过去,希望对方将自己当成来自非洲某国的外交官而不是美国人。
分析:误译的理解能力实在不敢恭维。此外In the hope that 指的是自己希望而不是向别人传达希望。
P53:Reverend King supplied the wish and the preparation, but it remained for strangers in the world at large to impose Martin Luther King’s new name upon him.
误:金牧师表明了心愿,给儿子时间去准备,让全世界的陌生人认可马丁.路德.金这个名字名副其实。
正:老金牧师希望儿子能接受这个新名字,也做了很多铺垫,但最终还是众多陌生人将马丁.路德.金这个名字强加在了他儿子的头上。
P55:As a political leader, however, he suffered all the liabilities of an elitist intellectual.
误:作为一名政治领袖,他却承担着优秀知识分子应承担的责任。
正:然而作为一名政治领袖,他却背负着精英主义知识分子的一切缺点。
分析:韦氏词典对于liability的定义是one that acts as a disadvantage。
P55:he made matters worse by commenting that White had no brains
误:他还评论说白人缺乏头脑,让事态更加严重。
正:更糟的是他还公开声称怀特没长脑子。
分析:这个错误是审阅人员的失职。
P56:The first contribution out of Wilkins’ own typewriter was a sports story about Negro track stars, which, Wilkins dryly recalled, the beleaguered Du Bois allowed to run “tucked among the most august literary and sociological thinkers of the race.”
误:……威尔金斯淡淡地回忆着,杜波依斯决定让他“在种族里最令人敬畏的文学思想家和社会思想家中雪藏”。
正:后来他不露声色地回忆道,在他的软磨硬泡之下,杜博斯最终不得不同意将这篇稿件“塞在最威严的黑人文学家与社会思想家的文字之间”。
分析:tuck的宾语是 a sports story about Negro track stars而不是Wilkins
P58:Spurning all talk of appearances and strategies, he marshaled the raw prose for which he was famous.
误:他写了很多让他出名却有些不成熟的散文。
正:他抛弃了一切关于种族形象与斗争策略的辞令,亮出了自己赖以成名的凶猛笔锋。
分析:误译不仅不理解从句结构,也不理解raw的用法。
P59:The success of this traditional NAACP activity was marred, however, by the small numbers and by factionalism among the leadership.
误:这次全国有色人种协进会成功地被领导阶级的党派之争和一小部分人抹杀了。
正:这是协进会的惯常活动,但是这次活动的成功却并不算完美,首先是参与人数太少,其次活动领导层也陷入了分裂。
分析:mar做动词意为玷污而非毁灭。
P60:Remarkably, the expansion at Ebenezer accelerated until the church caught and passed its older and more established rival on Auburn Avenue, Wheat Street Baptist, where the building program for a new church stalled and then collapsed in mid-construction.
误:……那座教堂新建筑……才完成了一半就拆掉了。
正:……这家教会的新教堂修建计划先是拖延了很久,然后在施工期间又垮塌了。
分析:原文是collapse,不是dismantle。
P63:The Rockefeller associate wanted to oust the dictatorial Florence Read, saying that she was anything but a professional educator and had been only a Rockefeller secretary.
误:……她各方面都不错,但不是一位职业教育家……
正:……她根本不是专业教育家……
P67:……where it had become traditional to say that there were only two kinds of students: those at Morehouse and those who wished they were.
误:……一种由来已久的说法是,关于莫尔豪斯学院只两种学生……
正:……按照摩豪斯的说法,一切学生分为两类……
分析:还是校对的责任。
P68:He abhorred religious tastes--especially the happy chatter about heaven and the cross--and looked upon religious ideas as a point of departure.
误:他痛恨宗教的优点……
正:他憎恶宗教品味……
分析:低级错误。
P70:The Soviet Union and the United States began to split the globe into two warring camps, each claiming to represent idealism against an empire of evil ambitions. Colonized peoples in Asia and Africa denounced the hypocrisy of the democratic nations that doggedly reasserted sovereignty over them.
误:苏联与美国逐渐将全球分化成两个阵营双方都声称自己坚持的主义能消灭邪恶帝国的野心。亚洲殖民地和非洲殖民地的人民前者民主国家的虚伪,坚定不移地维护自己的主权。
正:苏联和美国开始将全球分割成两大敌对阵营,双方都声称自己是理想主义的代表,对方是怀有邪恶野心的帝国。众多奉行民主制度的国家顽固地重申着自己对于亚洲与非洲殖民地的主权,此等虚伪行径理所当然地遭到了殖民地人民的激烈谴责。
P71:……they and the FBI would compile enough evidence to take before a grand jury, which declined to return an indictment.
误:联邦调查局还是搜集到了足够的证据,提交给了拒绝撤销起诉书的大陪审团。
正:他们和联邦调查局的探员们确实收集到了足够的证据并且将其提交到了大陪审团面前,但是大审判团拒绝起诉。
分析:不知撤销二字从何而来。
P74:Properly conceived, he argued, education provides “noble ends rather than a means to an end”.
误:金认为,如方法得当,教育提供的是“高贵的目的,绝不是置人于死地的手段”。
正:在他看来,构想得当的教育本身就应当是“崇高的目的而不是实现目的的手段”。
分析:看到end就想到死也是耿直。
第三章:
P77:Students in practice preaching class would occasionally hear the heathen clatter of a new rack being broken below.
误:学生上传教课时,偶尔能听到下面打破新架子时野蛮的声音。
正:学生们在礼拜堂里练习布道技巧的时候偶尔还能听到脚下传来一阵噼里啪啦的声音,想来是有人把刚摆好的一框台球打散了。
P79:Against these trends, Crozer failed to compete successfully for students.
误:在反对这些趋势上,克劳泽神学院未能为学生争取到胜利。
正:面对这样的趋势,克罗兹神学院在争夺生源的时候经常落在下风。
P80:Pritchard’s conclusion, which he shared with four or five of the other leading Western scholars in the field, was that Moses was an uncorroborated historical figure, quite possibly a legendary one, and that the Exodus itself was probably a much smaller and more symbolic event than the one described in the Bible.
误:由此普理查德认为摩西是未经证实的历史人物,很可能是传说中的人物,而走出埃及本身可能是比圣经中描述的更小但更具代表性的事,他还将自己的观点告诉了这一领域中四五位著名的西方学者。
正:普里查德由此得出结论——当时只有四五个业界领先的西方学者认同这一观点——摩西是一位没有史料支持的人物,很可能是传说中的角色。与圣经记述的出埃及记相比,真实的历史事件很可能规模远远更小并且只具有象征意义。
P80:The standing joke among the Crozer students who survived these courses was that...
误:克劳泽神学院中通过了上述两个科目的学生都把这两门课当作笑柄,
正:挺过这些课程的克罗兹学生经常开玩笑说……
P84:In class, Keighton remarked that he wished he knew his Bible as well as he knew Shakespeare,
误:凯顿在课堂上说自己有多了解《圣经》,就有多了解莎士比亚的作品。
正:在课堂上他曾经声称自己真心希望能像熟谙莎士比亚那样掌握圣经内容。
P85:the deepest theologian in the Baptist Church
误:浸信会教堂最深处的神学家
正:最深刻的浸信会神学家
P87:...he pointed out to his father that it was not the smoke-filled poolroom itself that was sinful but rather the plan sometimes hatched there to rob the liquor store...
误:金对父亲说这不是烟雾缭绕充满罪恶的桌球室,只不过会有些打家劫舍的计划。
正:他向父亲指出,烟雾缭绕的台球厅本身并非罪孽所在,有时在台球厅里制定的抢劫酒水商店的计划才当真有罪。
P87:King read The Communist Manifesto and some interpretations of Marx and Lenin before framing an objection to communism that would serve him the rest of his life.
误:金读了《共产党宣言》及对马克思和列宁著作的解读后才开始计划反对共产主义,可正是共产主义让他余生不懈奋斗。
正:金读完了《共产主义宣言》以及一批涉及马克思与列宁思想的阐述作品,之后就抱定了终其一生的反对共产主义立场。
分析:如果不敢如实翻译,不妨把这句话删掉。
P89:...he never again fell so completely under the spell of any school of thought, including Niebuhr’s.
误:他从未对某种思想学派如此着迷,就算对尼布尔的也没有。
正:从此以后金再也没有彻头彻尾地陷入任何一个思想学派的掌控,包括尼布尔的思想在内。
P90:Horrified Social Gospel reviewers implied that Niebuhr’s emphasis on sin made him a traitor to progress, or even a fundamentalist.
误:惊恐的社会福音运动评论者们暗示尼布尔对罪恶的强调说明他背叛了进步,甚至不配当原教旨主义者。
正:社会福音派的评论家们同样吓得不知所措,他们暗示尼布尔对罪孽的强调使他沦为了社会进步的叛徒,甚至跌落进了原教旨主义者的行列。
P90:That same emphasis might have endeared him to religious conservatives.
误:同样的强调也让尼布尔受到宗教保守主义者的喜爱
正:宗教保守派倒是很可能因为这一点对他另眼相看
分析:误译没看见might have
P98:King himself shared this propensity to vagueness on the crucial questions, but, in much the same way that a doubting preacher fell back from the afterlife to morality, he embraced Personalism’s teaching that there was rich, empirical meaning in religious experience.
误:金分享了自己在一些重大问题上模糊化的倾向,但用同样的模糊方式,这位有疑心的传教士从来世退回到了道德上……
正:面对这些关键问题,金本人的态度往往也倾向于含糊不清,但是他的信仰并未因此而动摇。心存疑惑的布道人经常会放弃来生阵地,退守到道德阵地上,金也采取了这样的策略。
P100:but he did most of his work with sympathetic non-activists like DeWolf.
误:但金和德沃尔夫一样,大部分工作都是和富有同情心的非行动派一起进行的。
正:但他选修的大部分课程还是由德沃尔夫这样同情种族平等事业的非活动家传授。
P101:He had been uneasy since the previous summer of 1951, when the romance with Juanita Sellers inexplicably had failed to mature.
误:自1951年夏天,金与胡安妮塔.塞勒斯之间莫名地未能开花之后,金就一直深感不安。
正:自从上一年也就是1951年的夏天以来,老金牧师一直焦虑不安,因为儿子与胡安妮塔.塞勒斯的恋情莫名其妙地没能开花结果。
P108:Years ahead of her time, she wanted the promise to obey her husband removed from the wedding vows as inequitable
误:斯科特结婚前几年就从结婚誓言中删掉只遵从丈夫的承诺,因为她觉得不公平。
正:此外她还做出了一项远远超前于时代的举动……从婚礼誓词当中删除了“我将服从丈夫”这句话,因为她认为单方面的服从对自己很不公平。
第四章:
P120:she forced him to invoke what he called his authority as head of the household
误:但柯瑞塔还是请求金放弃他所谓的一家之主的权威
正:但是最后他依然不得不抬出自己身为一家之主的权威来。
分析:误译大概把invoke误认为是revoke了。
P121:The first news films of a hydrogen bomb test showed shirtless American engineers smoking pipes and wearing pith helmets as they adjusted the rigging for a blast far out in the Pacific Ocean.
误:……正在遥远的太平洋上调试索具。
正:……正在忙碌装配着各种器材设施,为得是远在太平洋的氢弹爆炸能够顺利进行。
分析:对于rigging的翻译过于生硬,脱离了上下文。
P121:Sherman Adams, Eisenhower’s chief of staff, was preoccupied with political images, wanting to make sure that the Democrats could not blame Republicans for the decision by pointing to Ike’s appointment of Warren.
误:……希望在委任沃伦这件事上,民主党人不会责怪自由党人。
正:……他想要确保民主党不能因为艾森豪威尔任命沃伦担任大法官而责怪共和党。
分析:低级错误。
P123:From there, he proclaimed himself on the single theme of authority in a ringing preface worthy of Moses, Augustine, or Luther.
误:……他响亮明白的前言配得上摩西、圣奥古斯丁和他自己。
正:……行文气势足以令摩西、奥古斯汀或者路德击节赞叹。
分析:低级错误。
P124:Most probably, he could have gotten the congregation to adopt it as a resolution,
误:很可能的情况是,金能让会众把这当作一种决心。
正:最可能的结果是他会凭借着新官上任三把火的气势迫使会众将这段文字当成教会决议加以通过,
分析:对于resolution的理解有误。
P128:Though still a boy to many of his older listeners, he had the commanding air of a burning sage.
误:从小男孩到年纪大的听众,金都有一种圣人的气度。
正:尽管与许多年长的信众相比他还是个毛头小子,但是他的气场却像言出法随的智者一样熊熊燃烧。
P129:Prosecutors had thrown the book at Colvin
误:检察官丢给科尔文一本书
正:公诉人则决定施展全部手段来对付科尔文
分析:throw a book at sb 是固定搭配。
P130:he was the first Negro since Reconstruction to put himself on the ballot for local office
误:他……还成了自重建时期以来,第一个为当地政府选举投票的黑人
正:他也是战后重建以来第一位参与政府公职选举的黑人
P136:As they became better acquainted, Graetz decided that King’s own experience as a Negro student among whites in the North gave him a feel for life at Trinity Lutheran.
误:他们逐渐熟悉之后,格雷茨认为金作为黑人学生在北方白人众多的地方上学的经历让在三一路德教堂的他看到了希望。
正:进一步加深相互了解之后,格雷茨觉得金之所以如此体谅自己在圣三一教会里的处境,正是因为当年他曾经作为一名黑人学生来到北方白人圈子里求学,品尝过身为种族异类的滋味。
P137:The timing of the sudden announcement made it look suspiciously like one of the senior King’s attention-getting maneuvers.
误:突然宣布这件事看上去仿佛是为吸引父亲的注意力而使出的花招。
正:如此突如其来的宣布这么重大的决定,看上去实在像极了老金牧师惯用的抓人眼球手段。
P146:“We’ve worn aprons all our lives,” he said. “It’s time to take the aprons off. If we’re gonna be mens, now it’s the time to be mens.”
误:“我们一直都穿着长袍,”他说,“是时候脱下来了……”
正:“我们已经扎了一辈子围嘴了,”他说,“现在是时候把围嘴解下来了……”
分析:根据上下文,围嘴显然比长袍更合适。
第五章:
P152:Such joyous abandon was almost as alarming to the teacher as the violence he had feared,
误:这种快乐的放纵是他一直忧虑的暴烈言行。
正:如此肆无忌惮的欢乐令这位老师心慌意乱,几乎就好比劳森做出了他十分恐惧的暴力行径一样。
分析:joyous abandon并不是violence he had feared当中的一类。
P153:One feels that history is being made in Montgomery these days, the most important in her career.
误:有人感觉这些天的蒙哥马利正在创造历史,那是她职业生涯最重要的时刻。
正:人们难免觉得这几天的蒙哥马利正在创造历史,如今正是蒙哥马利建市以来最重要的一段时光。
分析:《韦氏词典》表示career有course, passage之意,例句the sun's career across the sky。城市肯定不会有职业生涯。
P153:The very moderation of the demands led civil rights groups such as the national NAACP to frown upon the boycott as a wildcat movement for something less than integration.
误:……他们把这个运动视为一种野猫运动……
正:……他们认为这场抵制运动想一出是一出……
分析:必应词典表示wildcat做形容词意为(罢工)未经工会同意的;(计划不周密而)不稳妥的;不按正常标准的,例句a wildcat strike happens suddenly and without the official support of a trade/labor union
P154:As for the boycotters themselves……faced ……complicated relays in getting from home to job without being late or getting fired or getting into an argument with the employer
误:他们不得不应付……复杂的倒班工作……
正:他们不得不借助于复杂的接力式通勤方式……
分析:omplicated relays 发生在居所与工作地点之间(getting from home to job),因此不会是倒班的意思。
P154:King immediately called his college friend T. J. Jemison, who, as secretary of the National Baptist Convention,was a prince of the national church on a much higher level than the Kings.
误:……他是国家浸信会联会的一位领导,地位比金高得多。
正:……他是全国浸信会大会当中的一位秘书,也是全国教会当中的重量级人物,地位比金家父子高得多。
分析:Kings显然指的不仅只是小金一人。
P155:Knowing such things, King was stunned once again when the crowd greeted his proposal with a church-rocking roar of approval. Whatever it took, they would do it.
误:虽然明白这些事情,但当信众一致应和他的建议时金还是被兴奋冲昏了头脑。他决定不去顾虑那些问题,而且相信人们会按照他的建议去行动。
正:道理全都清楚的金万万没想到,自己的提议居然再一次得到了集会人群的一致应和,人们的欢呼声震撼得教堂都瑟瑟发抖。抵制运动需要他们干什么,他们就愿意干什么。
分析:误译错误理解了stunned一词,因此完全搞反了金的心态。
P154:At the first negotiating session, on December 8, the three co-equal city commissioners parried King's arguments before a large crowd of reporters, boycotters, and white spectators.
误:……3位回避与金的辩论。
正:……蒙哥马利市政府派出了三位地位平等的谈判专员……
分析:如此明显的漏译想必是编校审读长达一年之久的数位资深专家的失职。我很感兴趣这些专家到底姓甚名谁。
P154:Commissioner W. A. "Tacky' Gayle (who was designated mayor because he supervised the employees at city hall) ……
误:……(由于要监督政府员工,他被指定为市长)……
正:……(他的工作是监督市政府全体员工,因此被指定为市长的代言人)……
P156:Rev. Henry Parker of the First Baptist Church, out of which Abernathy's church had been born eighty-eight years earlier,
误:第一浸信会教堂的牧师亨利.帕克试图弥合实质性的分歧(这个教堂与88 年前诞生的阿伯纳斯曾经任职过的教堂同名)。
正:第一浸信会教会的亨利.帕克牧师(阿博纳西眼下任职的教会正是在八十八年前脱胎于这家教会)试图弥合双方之间的实质性分歧
P159:A sharp decline in Christmas purchases by Negroes caused Montgomery store owners to wince, but they were not greatly alarmed.
误:由于黑人拒绝购买圣诞礼物,导致了圣诞销售额的急剧下降,这让蒙哥马利的商店业主皱起了眉头……
正:黑人圣诞购物数额的急剧下降使得蒙哥马利的商店业主皱起了眉头……
P158:The whites had spoken as the diplomats of a large country might defend their interests to diplomats from a small one.
误:白人曾谈到大国的外交官也可能要为捍卫本国的利益而防备小国。
正:这些白人的谈判态度就好像大国外交官正在小国外交官面前捍卫本国利益一样。
P158:They were walking in pride and dignity, he declared, with a gait that would "do justice to any queen.'
误:她们是那么骄傲和高贵,她们为公平正义而行走,她们终将和女王平起平坐。
正:他声称她们的气质如此骄傲而又高贵,她们的步态“足以与任何一位女王相提并论”。
P159:in which Arkansas council members were cooperating
误:阿肯色州议会成员将共同合作
正:阿肯色州的理事会成员正在通力协作
分析:这里的council显然指的是白人公民理事会
P161:……when daring counterstrokes made Southern legends of Robert E. Lee and Stonewall Jackson.
误:……当时北方联盟的勇敢反击造就了南方的传奇人物罗伯特.E.李和“石墙”杰克逊。
正:……罗伯特.E.李和“石墙”杰克逊当时正是通过一系列大胆的反击作战成为了南方的传奇人物。
分析:不做功课的翻译就会犯这种错误。
P161:In January, concluding reluctantly that the boycott had endured long enough to require special journalistic attention.
误:1月份,报纸上连篇累牍报道抵制运动已经够长时间了,如果没有什么特别值得关注的新闻就要结束报道……
正:1月份,霍尔很不情愿地得出结论,抵制运动已经坚持了足够长久的时间,需要新闻行业进行特别关注……
分析:误译不清楚enough to组合前后的逻辑关系。
P162:He recalled, for instance,
误:格雷茨后来举例回忆说,
正:比方说格雷茨回忆道,
P162:"Naturally, I just beamed,' Graetz told Johnson, "because that really fit me.'
误:“当然,我只是桥梁,”格雷茨告诉约翰逊,“但它适合我。”
正:“这番话听得我喜上眉梢,”格雷茨告诉约翰逊,“因为这样的评价确实很适合我。”
分析:不清楚beam是怎么翻译成“桥梁”的。
P163:This candor supported what Montgomery whites had been saying all along--that the radical Negro leaders were not really for segregation, that they were lying.
误:他们认为激进黑人领袖们并不真是为了应对隔离问题,他们在撒谎。
正:激进黑人领袖们并不支持种族隔离,他们的对外宣传完全是谎言。
P163:For the editor's benefit, he read notes of King's quotations on Tillich and Kant,
误:得益于编辑的便利,他阅读了本子上记录的金在《论蒂利希和康德》一文中的摘句
正:他当着编辑的面阅读了金对于田立克、康德乃至于尼采的引述。
分析:for one’s benefit有“特意为某人做某事”之意
P163:And while hostile readers could draw from it inferences that King was uppity and devious, as Johnson himself believed, the tone of the article was generally neutral.
误:尽管充满敌意的读者可能从中得出推论,认定金是一个自命不凡而狡猾的人,但约翰逊本人相信,文章的语气基本上是中性的。
正:尽管充满敌意的读者可能通过这篇文章得出推论,认定金是一位傲慢自负且满腹机关之辈——约翰逊本人也这么认为——但是文章的语气基本上是中性的。
P164:That same week, Police Commissioner Sellers told the Jaycees that the boycott was continuing only because white citizens were "sitting by.'
误:就在同一周,警务专员塞勒斯告诉杰西斯……
正:警务专员塞勒斯告诉美国青年商会……
P164:Some of the white women who needed the services of their maids badly enough to drive them to and from Rufus Lewis' car-pool pickup spots seized upon the commissioner's story, saying that they transported the maids only to protect them from the goon squads--not, of course, to support the boycott.
误:一些急需女佣的白人妇女忍无可忍,直接开着私家车来到鲁弗斯.路易斯的拼车载客点接送女佣。城市专员抓住这件事做文章说,她们的接送行为只是为了保护女佣,使之免受打手队的恐吓,绝不是支持抵制运动。
正:一些急需女佣的白人妇女忍无可忍,直接开着私家车来到鲁弗斯.路易斯的拼车载客点接送女佣。为了给自己的行为找个台阶,她们拿着市政专员散布的反抵制运动宣传做起了文章:她们的接送行为绝不是对于抵制运动的支持,只是为了保护女佣免受打手队的恐吓。
分析:误译主语不清
P166:Fortified by such hope, King placed calls to the MIA leadership.
误:经过这样的分析,找到嫌疑人的希望大大增加。金挨个儿给MIA的领导人打电话。
正:怀抱着这样的希望,金打电话通知了蒙改联的整个领导层。
分析:Fortified并非修饰hope
P166:No one rallied to the settlement as inevitable. They all denounced it.
误:他们都认为和解是不可能的,并且都反对和解
正:没有人主张和解不可避免,所有人都声称反对和解。
P167:This was Saturday night. By virtue of Rowan's warning, they had a chance to catch large numbers of their fellow citizens at the only traditional Negro meeting places other than the churches.
误:这是周六的晚上,罗文警告,黑人的传统聚会场所除了教堂外还有这些地方,金他们能在这里找到大量的同胞。
正:罗文的警告带来了翻盘的契机:除了教堂以外,路边夜店也是黑人的传统聚会场所。金他们能在这里找到大量同胞。
P167:King and his coterie of prim preachers must have made quite a sight as they shouldered their way into the flesh and the noise,
误:当金和那几个古板拘谨的传教士挤进这些声色犬马的地方时,他们不得不尽力把所有人的视线吸引到自己身上来。
正:当金带领着几名古板拘谨的布道人挤进这些声色犬马的场所时总会一下子就吸引住所有人的视线。
P167:The bus company manager announced tersely that there was "no noticeable increase on the Negro routes.'
误:公交公司经理的声明很简洁:“没有增加黑人线路。”
正:公交公司经理的声明很简洁:“黑人线路乘客数量没有增加。”
P167:Mayor Gayle immediately issued what Joe Azbell, on the next day's front page, called a "dynamic statement.'
误:市长盖尔立即发表声明,由《广告报》的编辑乔.阿兹贝尔在第二天的头版做了报道,后者将其冠以“变来变去的声明”
正:盖尔立即发表了声明。《广告报》编辑乔.阿兹贝尔在第二天头版上评价道,这篇声明写得“活力十足”。
P167:The Negroes believed they had "the white people hemmed up in a corner,' said the mayor,
误:市长又说,黑人认为他们一直“被白人围困在角落里”
正:以至于黑人还以为他们“已经将白人逼进了死角”
P169:The city would almost certainly deny Lewis' application for a franchise, however, lest it be accused of donating the economic benefits of segregation to the Negroes.
误:然而,市政府几乎可以肯定会驳回路易斯对特许经营权的申请,因为只有这样才能避免隔离主义者的指责,认为他们把公交运营的经济效益分赠给黑人。
正:当然,市政府几乎一定会驳回刘易斯的特许经营权申请,否则的话必然会有人指责市政府不该将种族隔离带来的经济效益分赠给黑人。
分析:分不清主语宾语似乎是166-169页译者的顽疾。
P172:after finally accepting the fact that it was too complicated and too late in the evening to get King out on a property bond,
误:但那天晚上,阿伯纳斯不得不接受这样一个事实,这件事太复杂,而且,也来不及当晚就拿出足够的保释金。
正:但是最终他不得不接受事实:这件事太复杂,轻易解决不了,而且当天已经太晚,就算缴纳保释金也不能放人了。
分析:没有搞清楚too late in the evening修饰什么
P172:Leaving, he passed carloads of Dexter members and MIA supporters who were converging on the jail.
误:他离开时,经过关满德克斯特会员和抵制运动支持者的监牢
正:走出监狱之后他看到一车一车的德克斯特会众与蒙改联支持者已经围堵了监狱大门。
分析:误译搞错了 converging on the jail的意思。Converge为汇聚之意。
P172:He held himself in check even when he began to realize that now it was the jailer, not he, who was frightened--a large crowd of Negroes had practically surrounded the building.
误:当一大群黑人几乎包围监狱时,他控制住了自己,因为他意识到,这时候感到害怕的不再是他而是狱卒。
正:即便当他意识到看守比他更害怕的时候——因为四面八方赶来的黑人已经包围了监狱——他也依旧没有流露出多少情绪。
分析:误译搞错了逻辑关系。
P172:It was some time later, at that night's mass meeting, before Abernathy caught up with the switches and reversals that rendered his cash unnecessary.
误:后来,到晚上的群众集会时,阿伯纳斯才知道这次事件的变化和逆转,于是退还了已经不再需要的担保现金
正:当天再晚些时候,阿博纳西在一场弥撒大会上得知了事态的逆转。他辛苦筹集的现金这一回可是用不着了。
分析:原文没有提到退还现金的做法。
P173:The phone rang again. "Listen, nigger,' said the caller, "we'vee taken all we want from you. Before next week you'll be sorry you ever came to Montgomery.' King hung up on the angry voice.
误:金怒吼着挂断了电话。
正:对面怒火满腔的声音还没有住口,金就把电话挂上了。
分析:误译不理解Hang up on的用法。
P173:Some of the Negro callers were just curious about his arrest, while others wanted to complain about the car pool. He never knew what to expect.
误:……他对打来的电话从来没有指望过什么。
正:……他从来都猜不到下一个电话的内容会是什么。
P173:The sensations of the incoming images pressed in upon him--the hatred of the whites, the burdened, offended rectitude of the middle-class Negroes, the raw courage or neediness of the plain folk.
误:电话传递过来的画面变成种种压力集中在他身上——对白人的仇恨,过重的负担,得罪了正直的中产阶级黑人,有勇无谋或穷困潦倒的普通百姓。
正:每一通电话都伴随着一幅意象,每一幅意象都在向他步步紧逼——白人的仇恨与憎恶,中产阶级黑人在重压之下的耿介态度,以及普通百姓的淳朴勇气或者穷困潦倒。
分析:the hatred of the whites是白人的仇恨而不是仇恨白人。offended在原文做形容词修饰rectitude,至多只能翻译成“遭到得罪的正直”
P175:For reasons of tactical consistency, they resolved to tell both the city fathers and their own followers that the boycott would continue as a separate matter.
误:为了保证战术的一致性,他们决定通知城市里所有的牧师和他们的教友,抵制运动和发起诉讼各自独立运作。
正:为了保证战术步伐一致,他们决定通知蒙哥马利的白人当权者以及他们自己的追随者,抵制运动将会独立于联邦诉讼继续进行。
分析:这应该是误译第二次搞错city father的用法。
P176:"We are checking on that now,' said a miserable Abernathy, who had wanted to have the answer before telling King.
误:“我们正在核实。”阿博纳西痛苦地回答道,他本来想在金开口之前就能得到答案的。
正:“我们正在核实。”阿博纳西痛苦地回答道,他本来想在告诉金之间就得到答案的。
P177:Bombers were loose,
误:扔炸弹的人是无组织的
正:扔炸弹的行凶者尚未归案
P179:She was deeply moved to hear that King, with all his strength, needed her.
误:金尽力让妻子知道自己有多么需要她,柯瑞塔被深深地打动了。
正:尽管他并不缺乏力量,但是依然需要她的扶持。这番话深深地打动了柯瑞塔。
P179:February dawned cold and dangerous.
误:2月寒冷的黎明危机四伏
正:二月份不仅天气寒冷,而且危机四伏。
分析:dawn在此做动词,取降临、到来之意
P179:Jeanatta Reese, who worked as a maid for one of the mayor's relatives, broke down under the pressure as visitors of both races trampled a path to her door, urging her to stick to the contrary assurances she had given them.
误:吉纳塔.里斯在市长的一个亲戚家当女佣,此前,两个种族主义者径直找上门来,强迫她做出并遵守违心承诺,在这样的压力下,她崩溃了。
正:这位女性名叫吉纳塔.里斯(Jeanatta Reese),原本在市长亲戚家帮佣。此前黑白双方的访客都踏破了她家的门槛,强迫她做出了许多相互矛盾的承诺。如此巨大的压力致使她陷入了崩溃。
P180:Three days later, white students rioted at the University of Alabama against the court-ordered admission of the first Negro student in the school's history.
误:三天后,白人学生在亚拉巴马大学发动暴乱,在学校执行法令的命令,允许历史上的第一名黑人学生入学。
正:三天后白人学生在阿拉巴马大学发动了暴乱,因为法院下令大学接纳建校以来的第一名黑人学生奥瑟琳.露西(Autherine Lucy)入学。
分析:误译完全不通。
P181:He opened up two-way traffic with movement tacticians of the outside world, bringing with him experiences and influences far beyond the confines of the Negro church spirit that had sustained the boycott thus far.
误:他与外地的运动家开辟了“双车道交通”,这个为他带来经验的行动,其影响力远远超越了黑人教会精神的局限,而后者真正是抵制运动持续至今的精神支撑。
正:他在抵制运动战术家与外部世界之间开辟了一条双向车道。至今一直在支撑抵制运动的黑人教会精神自有其局限,拉斯廷则为抵制运动带来了远远超越局限之外的经验与影响力。
分析:bringing with him experiences and influences是“某人带来了经验与影响力”而不是“给某人带来经验”。
P181:Unlike its grimy sister city of Chester, site of Crozer Seminary, the town had all the advantages of enlightened wealth. It was the home of an influential Quaker meeting, to which the Rustins belonged, and of experiments in progressive, integrated education.
误:不像脏兮兮的姐妹城市切斯特(克劳泽神学院所在地),西切斯特市拥有开明富裕城市的所有优点。拉斯廷家的房子还是一个有一定影响力的贵格会的礼拜会地点。拉斯廷就是在那里接受了完整而进步的教育实验。
正:与脏兮兮的姐妹城市切斯特(也就是克罗兹神学院的所在地)不同,西切斯特具有开明富裕城市的所有优点。这座城市是一家颇有影响力的贵格会集会的所在地,拉斯廷一家都是该集会的成员。此外这里还进行了许多种族融合教育进步实验。
分析:误译当中之所以出现“拉斯廷家的房子”,恐怕是看到了“home……to which the Rustins belonged”。但是这句话里的It只能指代上一句话里的the town。
P182:Since his birth, all the family members had created the fiction that an illegitimate grandson was a legitimate son.
误:自从他出生以后,所有的家庭成员一起创作了一部小说,一部关于非法的孙子是合法的儿子的小说。
正:自从他出生以后,所有的家庭成员就共同维持了一副假相,将非婚生的外孙打扮成了婚生的儿子。
分析:误译对于fiction一词的理解只能用生吞活剥来形容。
P182:When the Depression and family poverty forced him out of college……
误:大学时,拉斯廷因为抑郁症和家庭经济困难,不得不中途退学
正:大萧条致使拉斯廷一家陷入了贫困,他本人也不得不离开了大学
分析:Depression首字母大写即作为专门历史术语使用。
P182:Faithful to the spirit of the International, Rustin learned an amazing assortment of workers' songs, English madrigals, and folk classics.
误:忠于国际劳工联盟的拉斯廷学到了一种惊人的歌种。这种歌混合了工人歌曲、英语牧歌与民歌
正:忠于共产国际精神的拉斯廷在这一时期学会了数量惊人的多种歌曲,包括工人歌曲、英格兰牧歌与经典民谣。
分析:韦氏词典当中assortment 的定义是 a collection of assorted things or persons,因此译文应为“多种”而不是“一种”。
P183:FOR leaders, recognizing that pacifist recruitment was going nowhere so long as Hitler was making war, decided to emphasize the anti-colonial aspects of Gandhian nonviolence.
误:……于是他们决定强调反殖民运动中甘地的非暴力主义。
正:……于是他们决定强调甘地非暴力主义的反殖民侧面。
P183:by example the hard-drinking, cigar-smoking, woman-chasing Shridharani taught the wide-eyed young Americans that Gandhian politics did not require a life of dull asceticism
误:奚里哈兰尼让大眼睛的年轻美国人知道,甘地主义政治并不要求过沉闷禁欲的生活,他们无须避忌喝醉酒、抽雪茄、追女人这类行为。
正:此外奚里哈兰尼并不忌讳喝酒抽雪茄,而且还是个情场老手。他以身作则地表明了甘地主义政治并不等同于沉闷禁欲的生活方式。这套做派让两位美国年轻人看得眼珠子都要掉出来了。
分析:wide-eyed直接翻译成大眼睛未免不知所云。
P184:White opponents met the challenge with beatings, and Rustin was among those convicted under local segregation laws.
误:怀有敌意的白人用殴打来应对黑人的挑战,然而,拉斯廷他们却因违反当地种族隔离法而被定罪。
正:怀有敌意的白人用殴打来应对黑人的挑战,并且给很多自由乘车运动参与者都扣上了违反当地种族隔离法的罪名,拉斯廷也位列其中。
分析:原文上下句是承接关系而不是转折关系。
P186:That night they took a unanimous recommendation to a huge mass meeting at St. John's A.M.E. Church. Of four thousand people in attendance, only two voted to end the boycott on the city's terms.
误:那天晚上他们一致决议,要在圣约翰AME教堂举行一场大型群众集会,这个将有4000人参加的集会的任务是对政府给出的结束抵制的条件进行投票,票面只有接受和不接受两个选项。
正:那天晚上他们在圣约翰非裔卫理圣公会教堂举行的一场大规模弥撒大会上给出了执行委员会的一致意见。这次弥撒大会共有四千余人参加,其中只有两个人投票表示应当按照市政府的条件结束抵制。
分析:不理解怎么犯出来的低级错误。
P186:The next morning, Abernathy formally notified the city of the MIA's decision by telegram.
误:第二天早上,阿伯纳斯将执行委员会的决定用电报正式通知全市的MIA。
正:第二天早上,阿博纳西通过电报向市政府通报了蒙改联的决定。
分析:notify直接跟宾语,of后面跟状语。
P187:Volunteer guards stood outside even though, as Rustin had learned to his disappointment, King and his family were out of town.
误:虽然志愿者站在屋外守着,但金和他的家人在城外,而拉斯廷早就学会了接受自己的失望。
正:尽管拉斯廷十分失望地得知金家人全都不在蒙哥马利,但是住宅外面依然站着很多负责警戒的志愿者。
P187:The dollar amount of this ambition had been for some time the centerpiece of Daddy King's self-description in church programs, and it would remain so until he did something even bigger.
误:一段时间以来,作为老金本人描述的教堂计划的核心部分,他一直在做工作,而且,在老金的心目中,这个很有野心的数额只能多不能少。
正:一段时间以来,每当金老爹描述教会发展规划的时候,总会将这个雄心勃勃的贷款金额当成规划核心。直到日后他取得更大的成就之前,这笔贷款的意义都将无可替代。
分析:误译当中的“只能多不能少”大概对应原文的something even bigger,但是something even bigger是he did的宾语,并不是贷款金额。
P188:M.L. could hear for himself what they had to say.
误:为了他自己,金也许会愿意听他们的话。
正:金可以亲耳听听他们有什么话想说。
P188:Daddy King repeated his speech for their benefit.
误:金的父亲重申了关于他们的利益的讲话。
正:金老爹向各位客人重复了一遍回家路上的发言。
P189:the news flashed that he had actually traded jokes with the deputy who arrested him.
误:新闻快讯说,实际上他已经让执行逮捕的警官成了大家的笑柄
正:按照新闻快讯的说法,这位老人还有说有笑地与逮捕他的警察相互调侃了几句。
P189:Some of the arriving smiles were forced, but the ones on leaving jail were always genuine.
误:一些带着微笑来的人是被迫的,但在离开监狱的时候又总是真诚的。
正:前来自首时不少人脸上的微笑都是硬挤出来的,但是缴纳完保释金离开监狱时每一个人脸上的微笑都是真诚的。
P192:As an exhibition of the latter, Rustin had in mind his first visit to the King home, when he shouted to stop someone from sitting on a loaded pistol that was lying on the couch.
误:说到后者,就像一个展览,拉斯廷脑子里浮现出他第一次到金家时的情形:一个人看到他,立刻端起沙发上已经上了子弹的手枪,拉斯廷大叫着阻止了这个人的进一步动作
正:说到后者,拉斯廷提到了他第一次造访金家时的情形:客厅沙发上随随便便地扔着一把已经上了膛的手枪,有个人差点就一屁股坐在手枪上面,还是拉斯廷大叫着阻止了他。
P192:King spoke knowledgeably of figures like Muste
误:金讲话时头头是道的样子和马斯特一样
正:而且金在谈论马斯特等人的时候也说得头头是道。
分析:按照误译,原文应为King spoke knowledgeably like Muste
P193:He had become fixated on a desire to transfer his informal role personally to the new nonviolence tactician from the FOR staff.
误:过去,他曾是FOR的一名成员,但是现在,他渴望扮演新的角色,那就是一个以独立非正式身份成为非暴力主义战术策略家,他已经变得相当迷恋于这个愿望。
正:直到目前他在抵制运动当中都只是一位非正式的个人顾问,现在他却越发痴迷于为自己争取一个有名分的角色,成为来自和解团契的非暴力主义战术家。
P195:The President asked FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover to present a classified briefing about race on March 9, 1956,
误:总统要求联邦调查局局长J.埃德加.胡佛于1956年3月9日提交一份有关种族分类通报
正:总统要求联邦调查局局长J.埃德加.胡佛在1956年3月9日的内阁会议上提交一份有关种族问题的保密简报。
分析:误译理解错了classified一词。
P196:Hoover stopped short of saying that Republican civil rights legislation would reflect Communist influence
误:胡佛说,共和党的民权立法将反映共产党的影响力,但他的话到这里就戛然而止。
正:不过胡佛并没有进一步公然声称共和党的民权立法将会反映共产党的影响力。
分析:stop short of意为to decide not to do something, or to almost do something, or partly do something without completing it
P197:In the interim, Adams benefited by the release of the "Southern Manifesto,' which equated integration with subversion of the Constitution and pledged the entire region to fierce resistance.
误:……该宣言颠覆宪法的整合,并对整个地区承诺将发起激烈的反抗。
正:……该宣言声称种族融合运动等同于颠覆宪法,还一口咬定整个南方地区都将激烈反抗种族融合运动。
P197:The document was signed by some ninety Southern congressmen and all the senators except the two Tennessee mavericks, Estes Kefauver and Albert Gore, and the Senate Majority Leader, Lyndon Johnson of Texas.
误:签署该文件的议员中,90名是南方国会议员,其中包括全部南方州参议院议员;
正:来自南方各州的九十名众议院议员与全部参议院议员署名支持这份文件,
P197:He managed to weaken a few of Brownell's proposals and to make sure that when the bill was submitted to Congress, it came from the Attorney General and not, as was customary for major bills, from the President.
误:他设法削弱几个布劳内尔的建议,并确保其依照重大法案的惯例提交给国会时,人们确信它只是来自总检察长,而不是来自总统的立场。
正:他设法削弱了布劳内尔的几条建议的力度,并确保法案提交给国会人们都会认为该法案仅仅出自司法部长之手,而不是依照重大法案的惯例来自总统。
P198:He committed these judgments to print, along with many others that offended his white readers.
误:他承诺,会把这些判断和许多其他得罪白人读者的内容都在报纸上付印。
正:他将这些判断以及许多其他得罪白人读者的内容全都刊登在了自家报纸上。
分析:韦氏词典对commit的定义是to put into a place for disposal or safekeeping。
P198:From England came Keith Kyle of the London Economist
误:英国《伦敦经济学家》派来的是基思.凯尔
正:……《经济学家》的基思.凯尔
分析:做中英翻译而不知道《经济学家》的正式名称恐怕有些说不过去。
P201:The MIA cases might wind up in the U.S. Supreme Court, King reasoned, where the NAACP lawyers had an unsurpassed record in civil rights cases.
误:MIA的案子可能会在美国最高法院结案,金的理由是,NAACP律师在那里漂亮地打赢过一场民权案件诉讼。
正:根据金的盘算,蒙改联的诉讼很可能会被呈交给美国最高法院,而协进会律师在最高法院打赢民权案件官司的记录可谓无人能比,因此很有必要与协进会保持良好关系。
分析:an unsurpassed record in civil rights cases绝不止有一桩案子。
P204:Thousands of dollars had in fact been misappropriated out of the MIA treasury, as car-pool drivers and assorted hustlers were charging the MIA for oceans of gasoline and truckloads of imaginary spare tires.
误:实际上,MIA账户上的那几千美元确实被挪用,用来支付拼车系统司机和各色骗子的海量汽油和想象出来的卡车备胎的费用。
正:确实有上千美元从蒙改联财务部挪用了出去,因为有些拼车司机与各式各样的骗子经常信口开河地虚报油耗与备胎消耗数量。假如他们所言属实,那么他们消耗的汽油足以灌满大海,他们磨坏的备胎简直要用卡车来装载。
分析:海量汽油是虚报数量而不是实际消耗数量,此外误译大概把truckload看成truck了。
P205:The defection and swift decapitation of Fields demonstrated that public criticism of the MIA would not only be seized upon by white opponents but also taken as a personal criticism of King, which would not be tolerated.
误:菲尔兹的叛变以及对他的迅速铲除表明,既不能对MIA进行公开批评,以防白人对手拿来做文章;也不能批评金个人,否则就是不可容忍的事情。
正:菲尔兹的叛变以及针对他的迅速镇压表明,针对蒙改联的公开批评不仅会让白人们抓住把柄,还会被视为针对金的人身攻击,而这两者都是不可容忍的。
P206:King, more conscious than ever of seniority and protocol among leaders, told Nixon that he did not want to testify unless Roy Wilkins approved.
误:在众多老资历和讲究礼节的领导人中,金表现得更加清醒。他告诉尼克松自己不想去做证,除非得到罗伊.威尔金斯的批准。
正:此时的金比以往任何时候都更清楚论资排辈与礼数周到对于领导人之间的交往意味着什么,于是他告诉尼克松,除非得到罗伊.威尔金斯的首肯,否则他不想赴会陈词。
206:The ever-repentant Graetz later confessed to a fleeting surge of pride in his son's combative spirit.
误:格雷茨对此从不后悔,后来他还承认,对于儿子的好斗情绪,他当时有一种瞬间激增的自豪感。
正:向来惯于自省自责的格雷茨后来承认,儿子的斗争精神令他心里陡然涌起了一阵自豪感。
分析:误译正好将ever-repentant理解反了。
P207:Cabinet secretary Maxwell Rabb replied perfunctorily for the President that "the situation in Montgomery has been followed with interest.'
误:内阁部部长马克斯韦尔.拉布敷衍地回答总统说:“一直在关注蒙哥马利的局势。”
正:内阁秘书马克斯韦尔.拉布敷衍地代表总统回答道,“蒙哥马利的局势始终受到关注”。
P207:"We must recognize that it is reason alone that will determine our rate of progress,' Stevenson replied to Wilkins, who proceeded to denounce the candidate's blithe vagueness in such blistering language that Stevenson's friend Eleanor Roosevelt threatened to resign from the board of the NAACP.
误:威尔金斯还指责这位总统候选人史蒂文森的轻率暖昧,言辞激烈,以至于史蒂文森的朋友埃莉诺.罗斯福威威胁要退出NAACP的董事会。史蒂文森回复威尔金斯说:“我们必须认识到,这是唯一决定我们竞选进展的问题。”
正:他回应道:“我们必须认识到,理性是决定进步速率的唯一因素。”不依不饶的威尔金斯继续措辞激烈地指责史蒂文森发言轻佻暧昧,气得史蒂文森的朋友埃莉诺.罗斯福威胁要退出协进会的董事会。
分析:rate of progress与竞选无关。denounce the candidate's blithe vagueness in such blistering language,blithe vagueness指代the candidate,blistering language修饰denounce,两者不能并列。
P207:In October, Stevenson's concern over the issue prompted his appearance at a rally in Harlem, where he criticized as too passive Eisenhower's statement that it "makes no difference' what he thought personally of the Supreme Court's school desegregation decision. "I support this decision!' cried Stevenson.
误:10月份,史蒂文森对事件的关注促使他参加哈莱姆的一个集会,在那里他批评艾森豪威尔的声明过于被动,等于“什么也没做”,这让他想起最高法院做出的在学校废除种族隔离的决定。“我支持这个决定!”史蒂文森哭了。
正:到了10月份,担心种族问题会影响选情的史蒂文森参加了在哈莱姆区举行的一场集会,在集会现场他批评艾森豪威尔总统的公开声明过于被动,以至于无论总统本人对于最高法院废除学校内部种族隔离的裁决抱有怎样的支持态度都“无关紧要”。然后他高声叫道:“而我支持这项判决结果!”
P207:His supporters argued that his statement set him apart from Eisenhower as more friendly to Negroes, while his detractors replied that it meant little for a candidate to say he supported the law of the land, as did Eisenhower, while refusing to say what he would do to enforce it.
误:他的支持者认为,他的发言把他和艾森豪威尔区分开来,让人感觉他对黑人更友好;而他的批评者说,这意味着没有候选人会说,我支持国家的法律,但同时拒绝表态将如何执行它。而艾森豪威尔就是这么做的。
正:史蒂文森的支持者认为这段发言彰显了他与艾森豪威尔的不同,体现了他对待黑人的更友善立场。而他的批评者则反唇相讥,认为身为总统竞选人这样空口说白话实在很没意思,因为他就像艾森豪威尔一样口口声声表示自己支持依法办事,但同时却又拒绝表明自己将要采取怎样的手段将法律落到实处。
P208:Eisenhower made scathing private remarks about the "mid-Victorian style' of the Suez attack. If the United States supported such blatant colonialism, he said, the reaction "might well array the world from Dakar to the Philippine Islands against us.'
误:艾森豪威尔就苏伊士运河袭击发表了“维多利亚中期时代风格式”严厉的个人评论。如果美国支持这种公然的殖民主义,他说:“反击很可能在全世界从达喀尔到菲律宾群岛排着队来对付我们。”
正:艾森豪威尔在私密场合严厉抨击了苏伊士运河袭击事件,认为这种做法“完全是维多利亚时代中期的蛮横做派”。如果美国支持这种公然的殖民主义行径,那么“从达喀尔到菲律宾群岛的世界各地恐怕都会成为我们的对头。”
P208:It would shift all the advantages of judicial delay from the MIA to the city.
误:法律裁决的滞后性令所有优势从MIA一方转向城市政府一方。
正:这样一来,法律裁决滞后性带来的优势就会从蒙改联一方转向市政府一方。
P215:At 2:30 A.M. on January 10, the day the conference was to begin,Mother King shook Abernathy awake to take an emergency phone call.
误:1月1 0日的子夜2点30分,会议才刚开始,金的母亲摇醒阿伯纳斯接听一个紧急电话。
正:1月1 0日凌晨2点30分,也就是会议即将开始当天,老金夫人摇醒了阿博纳西,让他赶紧下床接听一个紧急电话。
分析:to begin是即将开始。从常理推断也不会在凌晨召开会议。
P217:City inspectors, granting Abernathy's desperate wish to hold Sunday services there, stipulated wisely that no one was to go upstairs, as their weight might cause the temporary beams to collapse.
误:他们借口人的体重可能会导致临时支架倒塌,不允许任何人上楼,阿伯纳斯一度因此而感到绝望,因为他有可能无法在礼拜堂举行主日仪式。阿伯纳斯同意了监察员的指令。
正:市政府的安全监察员们也很体谅阿博纳西希望在教堂里举行周日礼拜活动的迫切愿望,不过他们依然明智地要求教会全体人员不得上楼,因为他们的体重可能会压垮地下室里的临时横梁。阿博纳西同意了。
分析:误译对于人物的情绪理解有误,并且搞错了逻辑关系,大概是因为没有正确理解granting一词。
P217:When the rumor mill passed the word that one of the Graetz bombs had been meant for a Methodist preacher within the MIA, that preacher actually became consumed with regret that he had not been bombed--to the point that he later had a mental breakdown.
误:谣言榨汁机传出这样的消息说,格雷茨家的一个炸弹其实是要针对MIA内部的一名卫理公会牧师,格雷茨因为遗憾没被炸到而越发消沉——到后来他曾一度精神崩溃。
正:不过没多久就有流言声称格雷茨家的两枚炸弹当中有一枚其实并不是为他预备的,而是针对着蒙改联内部的另一位卫理会牧师。这位牧师因为遗憾自己家没被炸到而意气消沉,后来甚至一度陷入了精神崩溃。
P218:Some of King's partisans looked upon Nixon with the same tart condescension that moved one of them publicly to refer to Rosa Parks as "an adornment of the movement.'
误:金的同党对待尼克松尖酸刻薄的俯视态度,就如同有人站出来公开指罗萨.帕克斯为“抵制运动的花瓶”一样。
正:一部分金的党徒们对待尼克松的态度确实非常尖酸刻薄居高临下,以至于他们当中有人居然公开贬斥罗莎.帕克斯无非是“抵制运动的花瓶”。
分析:原文是递进关系而不是并列关系。
P218:A roiling undertow ensured that the MIA would never again play a major part in American racial politics.
误:令人不安的潜流将可能使MIA不再是美国种族政治的重要组成部分。
正:这股浑浊的潜流彻底断绝了蒙改联在美国种族政治领域进一步发挥更重要作用的可能性。
分析:误译忽视了ensure
P220:The Negro population at large had just absorbed a historical reminder of local law and random violence. What little had been lost to the segregationists in the boycott case had since been avenged many times over.
误:大量黑人民众吞下了当地法律和随机暴力的历史性记忆,对于一直以来避受的数倍于此的报复,抵制案对种族隔离主义者的失败简直微乎其微。
正:另一方面,黑人民众整体上吸取了当地法律和随机暴力的历史教训。尽管黑人社区在抵制运动案件的审理过程当中的确被种族隔离主义者占了些许便宜,但是他们在现实生活当中争取得来的成果却远比这点损失大得多。
分析:误译自己大概都看不懂自己翻译了什么。
第六章:
P224:To the horror of his family, Wofford enrolled for two years at Howard University Law School in Washington, becoming the first white student there since the female suffragists of the 1910s.
误:让他的家人震惊的是,他在华盛顿州霍华德大学法学院注册学习了两年,成为该校自1910年女权运动以来的第一个白人学生。
正:接下来他又不顾家里人的极度震惊,前往华盛顿州霍华德大学法学院注册学习了两年,成为该校自从二十世纪最初十年女性投票权运动以来的招收的第一名白人学生。
分析:suffragist是专有名词,不能与女权主义混淆。
P225:Then he found a job at Covington and Burling, Dean Acheson's blue-chip law firm in Washington, where he divided his time between corporate clients and the few scattered souls agitating for integration,
误:……在那里,他主要负责应对大公司客户和那些少数鼓吹整合的灵魂人物,
正:……在那里他一边应付大公司客户,一边与少数鼓吹种族融合的人们打交道,
分析:soul本身就可以指代人。
P225:King was a hero, and as he spoke, representatives of other Negro organizations were rapping on the door.
误:金成了英雄,他一边演说,其他黑人组织的代表就一边有节奏地跺着脚回应他。
正:金成了英雄,他在台上演说的时候台下其他黑人组织的代表都在一下一下地砸门以示应和。
P227:...and Levison personally had raised most of the advertising funds for a Coretta King-Harry Belafonte-Duke Ellington concert a few weeks before Rustin introduced him personally to the Kings.
误:在拉斯廷亲自把利维森介绍给金夫妇之前的几个星期,利维森还亲自为柯瑞塔.金和哈里.贝拉方特在杜克艾灵顿的音乐会募集了绝大部分广告费。
正:在拉斯廷亲自把利维森介绍给金夫妇之前的几个星期,利维森还亲自为柯瑞塔.金、哈里.贝拉方特以及艾灵顿公爵三人联袂出演的音乐会募集了绝大部分广告赞助。
分析:Duke Ellington是美国作曲家,钢琴家,爵士乐大师。
P227:Every morning, Davis arrived ceremoniously in his own chauffeur-driven Pierce-Arrow,
误:每天早晨,戴维斯身着盛装坐着自己的皮尔斯——阿罗汽车到达学院,
正:每天早晨戴维斯都会让自家司机开着一辆皮尔斯阿罗汽车将自己风风光光地送进学院,
分析:误译没看见chauffeur-driven
P229:All this infuriated Ben Davis, who retorted that the Gates faction always blamed the party instead of the reactionaries.
误:所有这一切激怒了本.戴维斯,他反驳说,盖茨派从来不批判,反动派倒总是指责本党。
正:这套说辞激怒了本.戴维斯,他反驳说,盖茨一派只会指责本党,却从来不去批判反动派。
分析:这次是审校的责任。
P229:The convention itself was filled with bitterness and gallows humor, with informants circulating in conspicuous droves.
误:这次大会本身充满了苦涩和黑色幽默,告密者周旋于著名人物中间。
正:大会本身充满了苦涩与黑色幽默,联邦调查局的线人们成群结队地在会场里游荡,周围的人们无不侧目而视。
分析:根据韦氏词典, conspicuous有attracting attention之意,drove有a group of animals driven or moving in a body之意。
P230:Davis welded himself to the contortions and reversals of Soviet strategy for the remaining six years of his life,
误:在6年的职业生涯中,戴维斯把自己和苏联扭曲和颠倒的战略牢牢焊在一起,
正:在人生最后六年的职业生涯中,戴维斯把自己与苏联方面扭曲颠倒的战略牢牢焊在了一起,
P231:King wanted to make his case to Eisenhower personally--and to be seen doing so--but the President ducked
误:金想亲自把他的案子交给艾森豪威尔——看起来也确实这么做了,但总统躲开了
正:金希望在艾森豪威尔面前亲自阐述自己的主张——两人会面的场景还要得到公共宣传——但总统选择了回避。
分析:误译太生硬。
P232:There were three billion people in the world, he grew fond of saying--roughly a billion each in the Soviet and Western blocs, and a third billion in the emerging poorer nations such as Ghana.
误:世界上有30亿人口——他从小就喜欢这么说,苏联和西方集团大致各有10亿,第三个10亿就在加纳这样新兴的贫穷国家中。
正:按照尼克松惯用的叙事口径,全世界共有三十亿人口,苏联集团与西方集团大致各有十亿,剩下的十亿人则居住在加纳这样的新兴贫穷国家。
P232:His experiences in Ghana helped secure his belief that the Zeitgeist, or spirit of the age, was rising to the defense of oppressed peoples.
误:他在加纳的经历帮助他坚定了信念,他的时代精神被提升到为保护被压迫人民的境界。
正:加纳的经历促使他进一步坚定了信念:如今的时代精神正在为世界各地遭受压迫的人民撑腰助力。
P232:As fresh world travelers, he and Coretta returned through Rome, Geneva, Paris, and London, hearing everywhere a clatter about what would become of restive colonies on the southern portion of the globe.
误:一路上,他们到处都听到人们叽叽喳喳地唠叨,说地球南部的殖民地将成为动荡不安的地区。
正:一路上他们到处都能听到人们正在众说纷纭地讨论动荡不安的南半球殖民地面临着怎样的未来。
P233:For King, who was plainly enchanted with the notion of Nkrumah and the duchess “dancing with the lord on an equal plane”, the return trip through London had become almost a journey of temptation.
误:对金来说,显然被恩克鲁玛的见解迷住了,而公爵夫人“在一架平等的飞机上与贵族共舞”的话,更几乎使经伦敦回程成为旅途的一个诱惑。
正:对于金来说,恩克鲁玛与公爵夫人共同构成了一套令他心醉的意象——“在平等的地面上与贵族共舞”——而途径伦敦的返程之旅更是充满了诱惑。
分析:将plane直接翻译成飞机还真是朴实刚健的很。
P234:Wilkins worked the inside game in Washington, where he alone had a staff.
误:威尔金斯独自一人在华盛顿周旋运作。
正:威尔金斯则在华盛顿周旋运作,因为只有他在华盛顿拥有属于自己的办事班子。
P236:Rustin already knew that, but he puzzled over King's ability to move widely divergent audiences with material that seemed suited to a college student's notebook.
误:……金演讲用到的素材似乎只适合于抄录在大学生的笔记本上,但他能借此激励截然不同的广大听众。
正:……哪怕采用看上去摘抄自大学生笔记本的枯燥素材,金依然能轻而易举地打动身份背景差异悬殊的各种听众。
P238:Rustin's logic, to which King acceded, was that King could not discuss the meeting without sounding partisan or risking contradiction from the Administration.
误:为金所认同的拉斯廷的逻辑是,他不能讨论这个无党派之争或者不与政府相悖的会谈。
正:按照拉斯廷的逻辑,金只要谈到会谈内容就难免会卷入党派之争或者与政府方面的宣传相冲突,因此还是尽量打马虎眼为妙。金也认同他的看法。
P241:This diplomatic mimicry was small consolation to Wilkins
误:这种模仿外交的方式对威尔金斯是一个小小的安慰,
正:尽管金的手腕如此圆熟,但却并不能给威尔金斯带来多少安慰。
P243:In a wild radio speech, he accused white soldiers from the "occupation forces' of following the female Negro students into the girls' bathrooms at Central High.
误:在一次不着边际的广播讲话中,他指责“占领军”中的白人士兵,说他们居然允许黑人女学生进入中央高中的女浴室。
正:在一次不着边际的广播讲话中,他指责“占领军”中的白人士兵居然允许黑人女学生使用中央高中的女厕所。
P244:As King struggled against the tide, competition from the NAACP was hardly the sole obstacle he encountered among his own allies.
误:就在金逆势奋斗的时候,来自NAACP的竞争几乎成为他在自己同盟军中遭遇到的唯一障碍。
正:就在金逆势奋斗的时候,来自协进会的竞争很难说是他在同盟当中遭遇到的唯一障碍。
P246:Not long after meeting "a most extraordinary young minister' in Baltimore, Levison had stunned his wife by telling her that Martin King was his only true friend in the world
误:巴尔的摩会议是“一个最不寻常的年轻部长”会议,此后不久,利维森就对妻子说,金是他在世界上唯一真正的朋友,这番话惊呆了他的妻子。
正:在巴尔的摩初次遇到这位“最非凡的青年教士”之后不久,利维森就向愕然无语的妻子宣布马丁.金是他在世界上结交的唯一一位真朋友。
P248:There would be mass meetings, evangelical appeals to the unregistered, then registration classes and support committees for those making the attempt.
误:福音会的群众集会吸引了那些未登记的黑人,接着,人们开始注册类别,并支持委员会所做的那些尝试。
正:计划的内容包括在弥撒大会上言辞恳切地说服尚未登记的黑人采取行动,并且向打算登记的黑人提供登记手续介绍课程,还要成立委员会来支持他们的举动。
P249:While he rejected the notion of justifying future segregation on the basis of its past pernicious effects upon Negroes, he called upon Negroes to improve their conduct.
误:一些观念基于过去施加给黑人的恶性影响,为今后的种族隔离进行了辩护,金对这些观点加以否定的同时,他呼吁黑人提高自己的操行。
正:他一方面基于种族隔离在过去对黑人造成的恶劣影响来反对未来的种族隔离,同时又呼吁黑人要有意识地改进自己的行为表现以免授人以柄。
P253:King's secretary reported that Baker was "a little abrupt' after being told that he was not available to take one of her calls.
误:金对秘书说,他没有接到过任何一个来自贝克的电话,秘书汇报说,贝克“有点莽撞”
正:金的秘书报告称,每当贝克得知金不方便接听电话的时候态度总会变得有点“唐突”。
P255:He struck a positive tone, painting vivid pictures of the beneficial effects the President could set in motion with gestures such as speeches, White House conferences, and simple statements on the moral imperatives of racial integration.
误:他以令人印象深刻的积极语调,把这种力量的作用描绘得生动形象——总统可以在诸如演讲、白宫会议,以及关于种族融合道德要求的简单陈述中,将这种力量辅以手势加以运用就能获得有益的效果
正:他以令人印象深刻的积极语调为总统描绘了一幅生动的画面:总统只需做些姿态就能为民权事业带来极大的裨益,例如公开演讲、白宫会议以及关于种族融合的道义必要性的简单陈述。
P256:...more divisive leaders would emerge if the current ones could not soon point to greater progress.
误:如果这些领袖眼下不能尽快指明取得更大进步的方向,那就会有更多人分裂出去。
正:如果目前的黑人领袖们不能尽快指明取得更大进展的方向,就必然会出现更擅长制造分裂的黑人领袖。
P256:Except for Eisenhower's endorsement of the need for stronger voting rights legislation, nothing was concluded beyond a general agreement that the meeting had been constructive.
误:除了需要艾森豪威尔为投票权立法给予更强有力的支持外,大家一致同意本次会议具有建设性
正:参会人员一致同意本次会议具有建设性,但是本次会面的唯一实际成果就是艾森豪威尔承诺要向投票权立法给予更强有力的支持。
P258:Late on the afternoon of Friday, August 29, 1958,
误:上个星期五,也就是1958年8月29日的晚上,
正:1958年8月29日星期五下午晚些时候,
P260:Inside, a white judge tried to preserve order and a white prosecutor prepared to outline a case brimming with salacious facts, while the audience waited eagerly to hear what the Negro antagonists would say about each other under oath,
误:而观众们则热切地等着听双方黑人律师宣誓说实话之后怎么相互抗辩。
正:听众们热切地期待着控辩双方的黑人当事人宣誓证言属实之后对于彼此有什么说法。
分析:律师用不着宣誓。
P260:King and Coretta, arriving just behind the Abernathys at the courtroom, found that policemen would admit only Abernathy, who waved a subpoena commanding him to appear.
误:金和柯瑞塔紧随阿伯纳斯夫妇之后到达法庭,但他们发现,警察晃着张传票命令阿伯纳斯站出来——他们只允许他一个人入场。
正:金和柯瑞塔紧随阿博纳西夫妇之后到达法庭,但他们发现警察只允许阿博纳西一个人入场,因为他手里挥舞着一张传票。
P262:Locked out instead of in, King soon found himself standing outside city hall alone--blocked from entering the same forbidding place outside town that had so terrified him after his first arrest, and frightened him still.
误:在第一次被逮捕并关进城外监狱时,他曾经非常惊恐,然而,当他被同一个地方拒之门外时,他依然感到害怕。
正:这一回金被锁在了牢门的另一边,很快他就孤零零地站在了市政厅门外。上次遭到逮捕并关进城外的监狱时他曾经一度吓得魂不附体,至今想起来依旧心有余悸。
P264:King was set up behind a desk in the back of the shoe department. To this rather humble setting flocked a number of New York's civic leaders, mostly Negroes and Jews,
误:在鞋品部后面放置了一张桌子,金就坐在桌子后面。络绎不绝的纽约公民——主要是黑人和犹太人,涌向这个谦恭的位置。
正:商场在鞋品部的放置了一张桌子以供金签字。纽约市的民权活动领袖们络绎不绝地涌向了这个略显简陋的场所。
分析:韦氏词典指出humble有 not costly or luxurious之意
P265:Nettie Carter Jackson, Grand Daughter Ruler of the Elks and one of the sponsors of the promotion……
误:埃尔克斯家族的大女儿统治者内蒂·卡特·杰克逊是促销活动的赞助商之一,
正:角鹿社的长女主君内蒂.卡特.杰克逊(Nettie Carter Jackson)是本次签售活动的赞助人之一
分析:维基百科指出Elks的全称是Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks,是一个总部位于纽约的会社组织。
P265:Its hilt protruded from King's chest at a point a few inches below and to the left of the knot in his tie.
误:金的领结左下方几英寸的胸口处露着刀柄,
正:刀刃插进了金的领带打结左下方几英寸的胸口处,只有刀柄还露在外面。
分析:领结是bow tie。
P265:Curry had been raving incoherently about persecution and torture and her anger at King for having undermined her Roman Catholic faith.
误:……她对金的愤怒已经破坏了她的罗马天主教信仰。
正:……她之所以痛恨金则是因为金削弱了她的罗马天主教信仰。
分析:主语不对。
P265:A police matron had discovered a fully loaded Italian automatic inside her blouse.
误:一名警方女舍监在她的上衣里面发现了一把全套装置的意大利全自动**。
正:一名女警还在库里的上衣口袋里面发现了一把上满膛的意大利全自动**。
分析:如此任性的误译我竟无言以对。
P266:She had used an instrument quite different from the kitchen knife common to urban stabbings:
误:她曾经带过一把和普通厨刀完全不同的刀具到城里行刺。
正:城市持刀伤人案件的最常见凶器就是厨房刀具,但是本案的凶器却别具一格。
P275:Even among civil rights activists, Clennon King was slipping away--a kook not worth fighting for.
误:即使身处民权活动家之中,克莱农.金还是在逃遁——一个神经病是不值得为其去战斗的。
正:即便在民权活动家的圈子里,这位克莱农.金(Clennon King)也正在变得越来越不招人待见,因为大家都觉得不值得为了一个神经病强行出头。
P276:He explained that his suggestion was a consequence of the failure by the United States and the Soviet Union to have the "faith and moral courage' to stop the arms race.
误:他解释说,美国和苏联没能用“信仰和道德勇气”停止军备竞赛,正因为美国和苏联都失败了,这才有他的这个建议。
正:在他看来,美国与苏联都没有停止军备竞赛的“信仰与道德勇气”。正因为这两个超级大国都失败了,金才打算提一点不知当不当讲的意见。
P276:King tried to calm their fears, to minimize the risk, to remind them that the true test of Gandhian nonviolence came in the severest trials of one's own life.
误:金试图平息记者们的忧虑,努力降低风险,并力图提醒他们,甘地非暴力的真正考验走进了人们生命中最严厉的审判中。
正:金试图平息记者们的忧虑,努力降低风险,并力图提醒他们,甘地主义非暴力运动的真正考验总会来自最艰难的人生试炼。
P277:All seven were white Protestant men from small towns; six had crew cuts.
误:这7个新教白人男性全部来自小城镇,并且最后裁掉了6人,
正:所谓的“水星七人组”全都是来自小城镇的白人男性新教徒,其中六个人留着平头。
P280:Less spectacular injustices were pressing steadily on King.
误:持续强加在金身上的惊动一时的不公正事件已经不多了。
正:与此同时,远比私刑更为低调的不公正也正在向金步步紧逼。
P281:The SCLC board began searching again for a replacement with the same impossible combination of qualities
误:SCLC董事会又再次开始寻找综合条件完全相同实则绝无可能的替代者。
正:然后领导大会又再次开始寻找他的继任者。最理想的人选必须满足两条完全不可能共存于一身的品质
P288:"Walking the benches' referred to ministers who leaped from the pulpit in mid-sermon to preach ecstatically as they danced up and down the pews, literally stepping over the swooning bodies in the congregation.
误:“走长凳”是指布道讲到一半时,牧师从讲坛上一跃而下欣喜若狂地讲道,同时在长凳间上下起舞,逐个跨过会众中那些昏昏欲倒的身体。
正:“走长椅”是黑人教会的特色之一。布道期间兴奋欲狂的牧师会突然跳下布道坛,手舞足蹈叫地冲进听众席,脚踩长椅靠背凌空行走,从兴奋昏厥的会众头顶上迈过去。
P293:In San Francisco, at the annual convention of the AFL-CIO, A. Philip Randolph spoke from the floor three times in a single day, each time seeking action against official segregation within member unions. This was one time too many for AFL-CIO president George Meany.
误:在旧金山的AFL- CIO年度大会上,A.菲利普.伦道夫一天内在台下发言了3次,每一次都在工会成员中谋求反对官方隔离政策的行动。对AFL-CIO的主席乔治·米尼来说,一次都嫌多。
正:在旧金山的劳联-产联年度大会上,A.菲利普.伦道夫一天内三次在听众席上起身发言,每一次都呼吁工会成员采取反对种族隔离官方政策的切实行动。头两次发言的时候劳联-产联主席乔治.米尼(George Meany)一直按捺着没有表态,到了第三次他终于忍不住发作了。
P293:The demand had more to do with greed and anxiety than with military judgment, he believed, and was subverting both politics and military professionalism.
误:他相信,基于贪婪和焦虑的请求比基于军事判断的请求要走得更远,并且正在颠覆政治和军事职业水准。
正:他相信这些人之所以要求增加军费主要是因为贪婪和焦虑而不是理性的军事判断,而且他们的要求正在颠覆政治和军事两方面的职业操守。
P294:and the prodigious energies he had thrown into a thousand speeches had exposed as an illusion the hope that his larger purpose could be accomplished by political evangelism.
误:而且,他投入上千次演讲中的巨大能量也暴露了他幻想一般的希望,那就是,他更大的目标可以通过政治福音来完成。
正:在职业生涯刚刚起步的时候,他满心以为可以通过政治福音来实现更为宏大的目标,因此他才会毫不吝惜地将大量精力投入上千场演讲中,但是事实却证明他寄托在政治福音身上的希望只是水中捞月而已。
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