The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one's negative experience is itself a positive experience. (查看原文)
……when a person has no problems, the mind automatically finds a way to invent some. I think what most people——especially educated, pampered middle-class white people——consider "life problems" are really just side effects of not having anything more important to worry about.
It then follows that finding something important and meaningful in your life is perhaps the most productive use of your time and energy. Because if you don't find that meaningful something, your fucks will be given to meaningless and frivolous causes. (查看原文)
I wanted the reward, not the struggle. I wanted the result, but not the process. I was in love with not the fight, only the victory. And life doesn't work that way. Who you are is defined by what you are willing to struggle for. (查看原文)
Everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative experience. Any attempt to escape the negative, to avoid it or quash it or silence it, only backfires. The avoidance of suffering is a form of suffering. The avoidance of struggle is a struggle. The denial of failure is a failure. Hiding what is shameful is itself a form of shame.
Pain is an inextricable thread in the fabric of life, and to tear it out is not only impossible, but destructive: attempting to tear it out unravels everything else with it. To try to avoid pain is to give too many fucks about pain. In contrast, if you’re able to not give a fuck about the pain, you become unstoppable. (查看原文)
The only way to overcome pain is to first learn how to bear it.
Remember, nobody who is actually happy has to stand in front of a mirror and tell himself that he's happy. (查看原文)
The author Tim Ferriss relates a story he once heard about novelist who had written over seventy novels. Someone asked the novelist how he was able to write so consistently and remain inspired and motivated. He replied, "Two hundred crappy words per day, that's it." The idea was that if he forced himself to write two hundred crappy words, more often than not the act of writing would inspire him; and before he knew it, he'd have thousands of words down on the page. (查看原文)
Because here's something that's weird but true: we don't actually know what a positive or negative experience is. Some of the most difficult and stressful momnents of our lives also end up being the most formative and motivatng. Some of the best and most gratifying experiences of our lives are also the most distracting and demotivating. Don't trust your conception of positive/negative experiences. All that we know for certain is what hurts in the moment and what doesn't. And that'd not worth much. (查看原文)
Because happiness requires struggl
grows frorproblems. Joy doesn't just sprout out of the ground likedaisies and rainbows. Real, serious, lifelong fulfillment andmeaning have to be earned through the choosing and managing of our struggles. (查看原文)
There is a subtle art to not giving a fuck, And thoughthe concept may sound ridiculous and I may sound like anasshole, what I'm talking about here is essentially learninghow to focus and prioritize your thoughts effectively-howto pick and choose what matters to you and what does notmatter to you based on hinely honed personal values. This isincredibly difficult. It takes a lifetime of practice and discipline to achieve, And you will regularly fail. But it is perhapsthe most worthy struggle one can undertake in ones life. Itis perhaps the only struggle in one's life (查看原文)
Subtlety #l: Not giving a fuck does not mean beingindifferent it means being comfortable with being indifferent.
Subtlety #3: Whether you realize it or not, you are
always choosing what to give a fuck about.
Subtlety #2: To not give a fuck about adversity,you must first give a fuck about something moreimportant than adversity. (查看原文)
The deeper the pain, the more helpless we feel against our problems, and the more entitlement we adopt to compensate for those problems. This entitlement plays out in one of two ways
1. I'm awesome and the rest of you all suck, so I deservespecial treatment.
2. I suck and the rest of you are all awesome, so I deservespecial treatment.
Often, it's this realization--that you and your problemsare actually not privileged in their severity or pain-that isthe first and most important step toward solving them.
The rare people who do become truly exceptional atsomething do so not because they believe theyre exceptional. On the contrary, they become amazing becausethey're obsessed with improvement. And that obsessionwith improvement stems from an unerring belief thatthey are, in fact, not tha... (查看原文)
If suffering is inevitable, if our problems in life are unavoidable, then the question we should be asking is notHow do I stop suffering? "but"Why am I suffering--for what purpose. (查看原文)
作者: Mark Manson 副标题: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life isbn: 0062457713 书名: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck 页数: 224 定价: USD 24.99 出版社: HarperOne 出版年: 2016-9-13 装帧: Hardcover
