Self-boundaries help you positively to feel good, live according to your values.

•Too porous,

absorbing other people’s needs and emotions as your own.

(emotional enmeshment and codependency)

•Too rigid,

danger of ending up emotionally isolated and alone.

•Not everybody is so mature.

Some people may resist your boundary by questioning it or testing your limits. Occasionally, people might even pretend they didn’t hear you and ignore your boundary altogether.

•Deal maturely with whatever discomfort ensues from setting your boundary. Remember it’ll only be awkward if you make it awkward.

•You’re not obligated to give your time to people who don’t respect you or who drain your energy.

•It’s not possible to pour from an empty cup.

Selflessly giving yourself up for the benefit of someone else.

End up burned out, demotivated, and even depressed.

Anybody can see that giving yourself entirely to others is counter-productive.

How can someone be expected to help others if they don’t have any energy, or time, or joy for themselves?

•Assert your needs to the person as confidently and straightforwardly as possible.

•More energy for learning and self-development.

An example of self-care is saying no to a request when you know you don’t have the time to do it.

When you say no to the things that you can’t or don’t want to do, you’ll have more energy and more enthusiasm for the things you say yes to.

Other self-care practices include finding the time to do things that you enjoy, improving yourself through learning and self-development, and spending time with people who make you feel good.

•Family boundaries help you grow up.

Parent-child relationship are decades in the making and aren’t likely to be changed overnight.

But we must set boundaries with our parents because that’s the only way we’ll ever grow up. It’s only by virtue of the fact that we set boundaries with our parents during our development that we gradually learned to become autonomously acting individuals. Those, however, who fail to assert boundaries in development will never truly cease to be a child.