接受自己最真实的样子，而不是期待中的我们

           the core message of <procrastination> has reinforced my idea that procrastination is not primarily a time management problem or a moral failing but a complex psychological issue.

          It's not the problem of procrastination that cause us feel guilty. It's the problem of self-worth that usually unknown to us, but it demonstrates by our anxiety toward procrastination.the author emphasize that self-worth is rooted in the capacity for acceptance, which includes acceptance of our biology, our history,our circumstances, and our many human limits. We may be aware of how delaying works against you, but we can just imagine that we are less familiar with how procrastination works for us, and until we can see the function that procrastination serves in our lives, we'll probably put off trying our techniques, just as we’ve put off so many other things.


        Knowing how the procrastination works is the first step to self-improvement.


       it's interesting for me to read the book about how to get rid of the procrastination, but i still won’t get anywhere unless i do something to overcome it. Reading about techniques may be interesting, but reading is not doing



       After reading this book, i know more about myself,my story, the
narrative of my own life. And now, i find the context for my procrastination

     I believe this is crucial, for when we accept ourselves as we really are, rather than as we wish to be, we are most able to act in our best interest and not live at the mercy of procrastination


        要自爱，for better or for worse,

        充分认识自己

    接受自己的不完美，不活在期待之中，

    每天进步一点点：）


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my readingnote for future review:


★（it's my favourite)


拖延的成因：

1.The emotional roots of procrastination involve inner feelings, fears,hopes, memories, dreams, doubts, and pressures. But many procrastinators don’t recognize all that’s going on under the surface, because they use procrastination to avoid uncomfortable feelings

2.Another root of procrastination is the procrastinator’s complicated relationship to time. Procrastinators often have a “wishful thinking”approach to time or see it as an opponent to outwit, outmaneuver, or outlive. This attitude toward time fuels more procrastination

3.The biological roots of procrastination include your body, your
brain, and your genetic inheritance

4.The interpersonal roots of procrastination encompass your family
history, your social relationships, and your place in your current culture.


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拖延四因素:

a.Low Confidence in Your Ability to Succeed

bTask Aversiveness: Expecting That the Process Will Be Difficult or the Outcome Will Be Unpleasant

c.The Goal or Reward Is Too Far Away to Feel Real or Meaningful d

d.Difficulties in Self-regulation


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拖延全过程（说到我痛处了>_<）：

You have your own unique experience of this cycle.

 a. “I’ll start early this time

b“I’ve got to start soon

c “What if I don’t start

d.There’s still time

e. There’s something wrong with me

f The Final Choice: To Do or Not to Do

g I’ll never procrastinate again

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★5.Fear of success :the important question for all of us is not whether we are ambivalent about success, but whether our conflict about success is so intense that it get in the way.In other words，our anxiety about being successful is unknown to us, but it was demonstrated by our procrastination


★★（深受其害，不愿承认自己的不足而选择不去做）6.Procrastination allows people to take comfort in believing that
their ability is greater than their performance indicates, perhaps even maintaining the belief that they are brilliant or unlimited in their
potential to do well. As long as you procrastinate, you never have to
confront the real limits of your ability, whatever those limits are.


★（“我做不好，是因为我还没尽力”或者“我不去做而已”，自欺欺人啊！）7.By delaying, procrastinators appear to be disinterested in competitive struggles and indifferent to the rewards of victory. Procrastination gives the impression that they can “take it or leave it,” because they don’t make an all-out effort


★8.People who are afraid of failure choose not to compete because
they are afraid of losing or being exposed as weak or inadequate.
People who are afraid of success, however, choose not to compete
because they are afraid of winning. They procrastinate to hide their
ambition, because they think there’s something wrong with being
competitive in the first place.（很精辟！）


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下面这一段，是全书最爱，有些长，打得有点累，但是值得。

看得我好感动，再次坚定了自己的信念，

比任何鸡血文章都有用，要反复看：



As you consider the relationship between your procrastination and
your fear of success, try to stand back and take a more objective look at your situation. It may help to remind yourself that just because you fear something doesn’t mean it’s true now and forever. If you can challenge the assumption that at the first sign of success everyone will leave you, then you may be surprised to notice that there are some people who will not use your success against you. They will delight in your success and celebrate it with you. However, some people may resent your success—perhaps even some of the most important people in your life. If so, the question you must confront is: Can you make progress for yourself in spite of their resentment or their retreat from you? Are you strong enough to survive without their total support?


Remember that success does not come all at once. As you begin to
resolve the anxieties that lead you to procrastinate, you will make
progress toward your goals. As you move ahead, your conflicts about succeeding can kick up again. Improvements represent a threat to the ways we have been organized to defeat ourselves. Don’t be surprised then you take two steps forward and one step back, or one step forward and two steps back! As you see that you can live with success—and without the disasters you’ve been anticipating—you will be more able to move ahead.We understand that success might have its dangers for you.

 We know these dangers are powerful. It’s natural to feel apprehensive when you’re making a change in your life, even when the change for the better. Achieving your idea of success—whether it be going back to school, exercising and losing weight, getting a new job, finding a good relationship or leaving a bad one—will inevitably involve facing change. Change may feel risky. When you make a change, you encounter the unknown in yourself, in your relationships, and in the world. But we think you may be in a better position than you realize to tolerate the risks. You can change and adapt to new circumstances,even to success.


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“当我们去完成自己某个目标的时候，意味着改变。


而改变意味着有风险，要面对一个未知的自己，


但我们相信，你承受的风险是值得的，


你会遇见一个更好的自己


you will change and adapt to new circumstances, even to success”


good luck：）



2011.12.27


by hammer