作者:
Mitch Albom 出版社: Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group 副标题: an Old Man, a Young Man, and Life's Greatest Lesson 出版年: 1999-7-23 页数: 192 定价: GBP 4.23 装帧: Paperback ISBN: 9780385496490
while I spent so many hours on things that meant absolutely nothing to me personally: movie stars, supermodels, the latest noise out of Princess Di or Madonna or John F. Kennedy, Jr. In a strange way, I envied the quality of Morrie’s time even as I lamented its diminishing supply.
So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.
I thought about all the people I knew who spent many of their waking hours feeling sorry for themselves. How useful it would be ... (查看原文)
while I spent so many hours on things that meant absolutely nothing to me personally: movie stars, supermodels, the latest noise out of Princess Di or Madonna or John F. Kennedy, Jr. In a strange way, I envied the quality of Morrie’s time even as I lamented its diminishing supply. So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things th...
2013-05-20 04:129人喜欢
while I spent so many hours on things that meant absolutely nothing to me personally: movie stars, supermodels, the latest noise out of Princess Di or Madonna or John F. Kennedy, Jr. In a strange way, I envied the quality of Morrie’s time even as I lamented its diminishing supply.
So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.
I thought about all the people I knew who spent many of their waking hours feeling sorry for themselves. How useful it would be to put a daily limit on self-pity. Just a few tearful minutes, then on with the day.
Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.
most of us all walk around as if we’re sleepwalking. We really don’t experience the world fully, because we’re half-asleep, doing things we automatically think we have to do.
When you realize you are going to die, you see everything much differently. He sighed. “Learn how to die, and you learn how to live.”
It won’t hurt you. It will only help. If you let the fear inside, if you pull it on like a familiar shirt, then you can say to yourself, “All right, it’s just fear, I don’t have to let it control me. I see it for what it is.” Same for loneliness: you let go, let the tears flow, feel it completely—but eventually be able to say, “All right, that was my moment with loneliness. I’m not afraid of feeling lonely, but now I’m going to put that loneliness aside and know that there are other emotions in the world, and I’m going to experience them as well.” “Detach,” Morrie said again.引自第1页
For all that was happening to him,his voice was strong and inviting,and his mind was vibrating with a million thoughts.He was intent on proving that the word "dying" was not synonymous with "useless". When a collegue at Brandeis died suddenly of a heart attack,Morrie went to his funeral.He came home depressed. "What a waste,"he said."All those people saying all those wonderful things,and Irv ne...
2012-12-17 11:353人喜欢
For all that was happening to him,his voice was strong and inviting,and his mind was vibrating with a million thoughts.He was intent on proving that the word "dying" was not synonymous with "useless".
When a collegue at Brandeis died suddenly of a heart attack,Morrie went to his funeral.He came home depressed.
"What a waste,"he said."All those people saying all those wonderful things,and Irv never got to hear any of it."
"Accept what you are able to do and what you are not able to do"; "Accept the past as past,without denying it or discarding it";"Learn to forgive yourself and to forgive others";"Don't assume that it's too late to get involved."
"Dying," Morrie suddenly said,"is only one thing to be sad over,Mitch.Living unhappily is something else.So many of the people who come to visit me are unhappy."Why?
"Well,for one thing,the culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves.We're teaching the wrong things.And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work,don't buy it.Create your own.Most people can't do it.They're more unhappy than me--even in my current condition.
"I may be dying,but I am surrounded by loving,caring souls.How many people can say that?"
"Life is a series of pulls back and forth.You want to do one thing,but you are bound to do something else.Something hurts you,yet you know it shouldn't.You take certain things for granted,even when you know you should never take anything for granted.
"A tension of opposites,like a pull on a rubber band.And most of us live somewhere in the middle."
Sounds like a wrestling match,I say.
"A wrestling match."He laughs."Yes,you could describe life that way."
So which side wins,I ask.
"Which side wins?"He smiles at me,the crinkled eyes,the crooked teeth."Love wins.Love always wins."
They didn't know O.J.Simpson.They didn't know anyone involved in the case.Yet they gave up days and weeks of their lives,addicted to someone else's drama.
"So many people walk around with a meaningless life.They seem half-sleep,even when they'are busy doing things they think are important.This is because they're chasing the wrong things.The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others,devote yourself to your community around you,and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."
"Sometimes you cannot believe what you see,you have to believe what you feel.And if you are ever going to have other people trust you,you must feel that you can trust them,too--even when you're in the dark.Even when you're falling."
"The culture doesn't encourage you to think about such things[worries and regrets] until you're about to die.We're so wrapped up with egotistical things,carrer,family,having enough money,meeting the mortgage,getting a new car,fixing the radiator when it breaks--we're involved in trillions of little acts just to keep going.So we don't get into the habit of standing back and looking at our lives and saying,Is this all?Is this all I want?Is something missing?"
He paused.
"You need someone to probe you in that direction.It won't just happen automatically."
I knew what he was saying.We all need teachers in our lives.
"To know you're going to die,and to be prepared for it at any time.That's better.That way you can actually be more involved in your life while you're living."
How can you ever be prepared to die?
"Do what the Buddhists do.Every day,have a little bird on your shoulder that asks,Is today the day?Am I ready?Am I doing all I need to do?Am I being the person I want to be?"
He turned his head to his shoulder as if the bird were there now.
"Is today the day I die?"he said.
"Once you learn how to die,you learn how to live."
Did you think much about death before you got sick,I asked.
"No."Morrie smiled."I was like everyone else.I once told a friend of mine,in a moment of exuberance,I'm gonna be the healthies old man you ever met!"
How old were you?
"In my sixties."
So you were optimistic.
"Why not?Like I said,no one really believes they're going to die."
But everyone knows someone who has died,I said.Why is it so hard to think about dying?
"Because,"Morrie continued,"most of us all walk around as if we're sleepwalking.We really don't experience the world fully,because we're half-asleep,doing things we automatically think we have to do."
And facing death changes all that?
"Oh,yes.You strip away all that stuff and you focus on the essentials.When you realize you are going to die,you see everything much differently."He sighed."Learn how to die,and you learn how to live."引自 全书
Morrie had aging in better perspective.
"All this emphasis on youth--I don't buy it,"he said."Listen,I know what a misery being young can be,so don't tell me it's so great.All these kids who came to me with their struggles,their stife,their feelings of inadequacy,their sense that life was miserable,so bad they wanted to kill themselves.
"And,in addition to all the miseries,the young are not wise.They have vey little understanding about life.Who wants to live every day when you don't know what's going on?When people are manipulating you,telling you to buy this perfume and you'll be beautiful,or this pair of jeans and you'll be sexy--and you believe them!It's such nonsense."
Weren't you ever afraid to grow old,I asked.
"Mitch,I embrace aging."
Embarce it?
"It's very simple.As you grow,you learn more.If you stayed at 22,you'd always be as ignorant as you were at 22.Aging is not just decay,you know.It's growth.It's more than the negative that you're going to die,it's also the postive that you understand you're going to die,and that you live a better life because of it."
Yes,I said,but if aging were so valuable,why do people always say,"Oh,if I were young again."You never hear people say,"I wish I were sixty-five."
He smiled."You know what that reflects?Unsatisfied lives.Unfulfilled lives.Lives that haven't found meaning.Because if you've found meaning in your life,you don't want to go back.You want to go forward.You want to see more,do more.You can't wait until sixty-five.Listen.You should know something.All younger people should know something.If you're always battling against getting older,you're always going to be unhappy,because it will happen anyhow."
"The fact is,you are going to die eventually."I nodded.
"It won't matter what you tell yourself."引自 全书
How do you keep from envying...
"It is impossible for the old not to envy the young.But the issue is to accept who you are and revel in that.This is your time to be in your thirties.I had my time to be in my thirties,and now is my time to be seventy-eight.
"You have to find what's good and true and beautiful in your life as it is now.Looking back makes you competitive.And,age is not a competitive issue."
He exhaled and lowered his eyes,as if to watch his breath scatter into the air.
"The truth is,part of me is every age.I'm a three-year-old,I'm a five-year-old,I'm a thirty-seven-year-old,I'm a fifty-year-old.I've been through all of them,and I know what it's like.I delight in being a child when it's appropriate to be a child.I delight in being a wise old man when it's appropriate to be a wise old man.Think of all I can be!I am every age,up to my own.Do you understand?"
I nodded.
"How can I be envious of where you are--when I've been there myself?"
"There's a big confusion in this country over what we want versus what we need,''Morrie said."You need food,you want a chocolate sundae.You have to be honest with yourself.You don't nedd the latest sports car,you don't need the biggest house.
"The truth is ,you don't get satisfaction from those things.You know what really gives you satisfaction?"What?
"Offering others what you have to give."
You sound like a Boy Scout.
"I don't mean money,Mitch.I mean your time.Your concern.Your stroytelling.It's not so hard.There's a senior center that opened near here.Dozens of elderly people come there every day.If you're a young man or young woman adn you have a skill,you are asked to come and teach it.Say you know computers.You come there and teach them computers.You are very welcome there.And they are very grateful.This is how you start to get respect,by offering something that you have."
"Do the kinds of things that come from the heart.When you do,you won't be dissatisfied,you won't be envious,you won't be longing for someboday else's things.On the contrary,you'll be overwhelmed with what comes back."引自 全书
Each night,when I go to sleep,I die.And the next morning,when I wake up,I am reborn.----Mahatma Gandhi
"Part of the problem,is that everyone is in such a hurry,"Morrie said."People haven't found meaning in their lives,so they're running all the time looking for it.They think the next car,the next house,the next job.Then they find those things are empty,too,and they keep running."
Once you start running,I said,it's hard to slow yourself down.
"Not so hard,"he said,shaking his head."Do you know what I do?When someone wants to get ahead of me in traffic--when I used to be able to drive--I would raise my hand..."
He tried to do this now,but the hand lifted weakly,only six inches.
"...I would raise my hand,as if I was going to make a negative gesture,and then I would wave and smile.Instead of giving them the finger,you let me go,and you smile.
"You know what?A lot of times they smiled back.The truth is ,I don't have to be in that much of a hurry with my car.I would rather put my energies into people."
"In this culture,it's so important to find a loving relationship with someone because so much of the culture does not give you that.But the poor kids today,either they're too selfish to take part in a real loving relationship,or they rush into marriage don't know what they want in a partner.They don't know who they are themselves--so how can they know who they're marrying?"
He sighed.Morrie had counseled so many unhappy lovers in his years as a professor."It's sad,because a loved one is so important.You realize that,especially when you're in a time like I am,when you're not doing so well.Friends are great,but friends are not going to be here on a night when you're coughing and can't sleep and someone has to sit up all night with you,comfort you,try to be helpful."
"There are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage:If you don't respect the other person,you're gonna have a lot of trouble.If you don't know how to compromise,you're gonna have a lot of trouble.If you can't talk openly about what goes on between you,you're gonna have a lot of troble.And if you don't have a common set of values in life,you're gonna have a lot of trouble.Your values must be alike."
"And the biggest one of those values,Mitch?"
Yes?
"Your belief in the importance of your marriage."
"Personally,"he sighed,his eyes still closed,"I think marriage is a very important thing to do,and you're missing a hell of a lot if you don't try it."
"Love each other or perish."
"People are onl mean when they're threatened,"he said later that day,"and that's what our culture does.That's what our economy does.Even people who have jobs in our economy are threatened,because they worry about losing them.And when you get threatened,you start looking out only for yourself.You start making money a god.It is all part of this culture."
He exhaled."Which is why I don't buy into it."
"Here's what I mean by building your own little subculture,"Morrie said."I don't mean you disregard every rule of your community.I don't go around naked,for example.I don't run through red lights.The little things,I can obey.But the big things--how we think,what we value--those you must choose yourself.You can't let anyone--or any society--determine those for you.
"Take my condition.The things I am supposed to be embarrassed about now--not being able to walk,not being to wipe my ass,waking up some mornings wanting to cry--there is nothing innately embarrasing or shaming about them.
"It's the same for women not being thin enough,or men not being rich enough.It's just what our culture would have you believe.Don't believe it."
"Every society has its own problems,"Morrie said,lifting his eyebrows,the closest he could come to a shrug."The way to do it,I think,isn't to run away.You have to work at creating your own culture.
"Look,no matter where you live,the biggest defect we human beings have is our shortsightedness.We don't see what we could be.Whe should be looking at our potential,stretching ourselves into everything we can become.But if you're surrounded by people who say I want mine now,you end up with a few people with everything and a military to keep the poor ones from rising up and stealing it."
"For me,Ted,living means I can be responsive to the other person.It means I can show my emotions and my feelings.Talk to them.Feel with them..."
He exhaled."When that is gone,Morrie is gone."
"It's not just other people we need to forgive,Mitch."he finally whispered."We also need to forgive ourselves."
Ourselves?
"Yes.For all the things we didn't do.All the things we should have done.You can't get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened.That doesn't help you when you get to where I am.
"I always wished I had done more with my work;I wished I had written more books.I used to beat myself up over it.Now I see that never did any good.Make peace.You need to make peace with yourself and everyone around you."
"We are so afraid of the sight of death,"Morried told me when I sat down.I adjusted the microphone on his collar,but it kept flopping over.Morrie coughed.He was coughing all the time now.
"I read a book the other day.It said as soon as someone dies in a hospital,they pull the sheets up over their head,and they wheel the body to some chute and push it down.They can't wait to get it out of their sight.People act as if death is contagious."
"It's not contagious,you know.Death is as natural as life.It's part of the deal we made."
"It's natural to die,"he said again."The fact that we make such a big hullabaloo over it is all because we don't see ourselves as part of nature.We think because we're human we're something above nature."
He smiled at the plant.
"We're not.Everything that gets born,dies."He looked at me.
"Do you accept that?"Yes.
"All right,"he whispered,"now here's the payoff.Here is how we are different from these wonderful plants and animals.
"As long as we can love each other,and remember the feeling of love we had,we can die without ever really going away.All the love you created is still there.All the memories are still there.You live on--in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here."
"Death ends a life,not a relationship."
"There is no formula to relationships.They have to be negotiated in loving ways,with room for both parties,what they want and what they need,what they can do and what their life is like.
"In business,people negotiate to win.They negotiate to get what they want.Maybe you're too used to that.Love is different.Love is when you are as concerned about someone else's situation as you are about your own.
"You've had these special times with your brother,and you no longer have what you had with him.You want them back.You never want them to stop.But that's part of being human.Stop,renew,stop,renew."引自 全书
Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel.And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too---even when you're in the dark.Even when you're falling.引自第61页
"Whenever people ask me about having children or not having children, I never tell them what to do,"Morrie said now, looking at a photo of his oldest son."I simply say,"There is no substitute for it. You cannot do it with a friend. You cannot do it with a lover.If you want the experience of having complete responsibility for another human being, and to learn how to love and bond in the deepest way, then you should have children."引自第93页
"Remember what I said about finding a meaningful life? I wrote it down, but now I can recite it: Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."引自第127页
"It's not just other people we need to forgive,Mitch," He finally whispered. We also need to forgive ourselves."
Ourselves?
"Yes. For all the things we didn't do. All the things we should have done. You can't get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened. That doesn't help you when you get to where I am."
"I always wished I had done more with my work; I wished I had written more books. I used to beat myself over it. Now I see that never did any good. Make peace.You need to make peace with yourself and everyone around you."引自第166页
"Do the kinds of things that come from the heart.When you do, you won't be dissatisfied, you won't be envious, you won't be longing for somebody else's things. On the contrary, you'll be overwhelmed with what comes back.引自第128页
If you're trying to show off for people at the top, forget it. They will look down at you anyhow. And if you're trying to show off for people at the bottom, forget it. They will only envy you.
2014-07-22 07:382人喜欢
If you're trying to show off for people at the top, forget it. They will look down at you anyhow. And if you're trying to show off for people at the bottom, forget it. They will only envy you.引自第127页
while I spent so many hours on things that meant absolutely nothing to me personally: movie stars, supermodels, the latest noise out of Princess Di or Madonna or John F. Kennedy, Jr. In a strange way, I envied the quality of Morrie’s time even as I lamented its diminishing supply. So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things th...
2013-05-20 04:129人喜欢
while I spent so many hours on things that meant absolutely nothing to me personally: movie stars, supermodels, the latest noise out of Princess Di or Madonna or John F. Kennedy, Jr. In a strange way, I envied the quality of Morrie’s time even as I lamented its diminishing supply.
So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.
I thought about all the people I knew who spent many of their waking hours feeling sorry for themselves. How useful it would be to put a daily limit on self-pity. Just a few tearful minutes, then on with the day.
Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.
most of us all walk around as if we’re sleepwalking. We really don’t experience the world fully, because we’re half-asleep, doing things we automatically think we have to do.
When you realize you are going to die, you see everything much differently. He sighed. “Learn how to die, and you learn how to live.”
It won’t hurt you. It will only help. If you let the fear inside, if you pull it on like a familiar shirt, then you can say to yourself, “All right, it’s just fear, I don’t have to let it control me. I see it for what it is.” Same for loneliness: you let go, let the tears flow, feel it completely—but eventually be able to say, “All right, that was my moment with loneliness. I’m not afraid of feeling lonely, but now I’m going to put that loneliness aside and know that there are other emotions in the world, and I’m going to experience them as well.” “Detach,” Morrie said again.引自第1页
Acknowledge Mul•ti•tude multitude Hibiscus Glimpse Oral Lieu Impatiently Awkward Hesitation Twisted and twirled Applauded Weary Neurological Terminal Groceries Purchased “My friends, I assume you are all here terminal? nerves entertained inviting Vibrating Horizon Journalism Gaunt Reunion Medication Unaware Chewing Delivers Overwhelming Jotting Beam Regained Announced Motorcycle Traded S...
2014-02-11 11:38
Acknowledge
Mul•ti•tude multitude
Hibiscus
Glimpse
Oral
Lieu
Impatiently
Awkward
Hesitation
Twisted and twirled
Applauded
Weary
Neurological
Terminal
Groceries
Purchased
“My friends, I assume you are all here terminal?
nerves
entertained
inviting
Vibrating
Horizon
Journalism
Gaunt
Reunion
Medication
Unaware
Chewing
Delivers
Overwhelming
Jotting
Beam
Regained
Announced
Motorcycle
Traded
Squirmed
Astonished
Reservation
Gasping for air
Contagious
Squeezing
Trial
Fuzz
Alienation
Atrophied
Refiexively
Journalism
Moist
Grieving
Reunion
分隔栏
——
Infection
Glance
Exertion
Detaching
Impermanent
Penetrate
Contrariwise
(P103)
Vulnerability
Vulnerability
Entail
Faucet
Half-choking
Congestion（P105）
——
Instinctive
Serenely
Fright
Reincarnation （P106-P109）
——
Tease
Mental
Radical
Fierce
Administration（P111）
——
Amusement
Embrace
Aging
Envy（P119）
——
Fogged up
Perspective
Gobble up
Substitute
Tenderness
Comradeship
Cluttered (P125)
http://lipowskienglish.weebly.com/uploads/1/3/1/7/13170446/full_text.pdf
“Mitchell?” Morrie says, reading from the attendance list.
I raise a hand.
Do you prefer Mitch? Or is Mitchell better?” I have never been asked this by a teacher. I do a double take at this guy in his yellow turtleneck and green corduroy pants, the silverhair that falls on his forehead. He is smiling. Mitch, I say. Mitch is what my friends called me. “Well, Mitch it is then,” Morrie says, as if closing a deal. “And, Mitch?”
Yes?
“I hope that one day you will think of me as your friend.”
The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. We’re teaching the wrong things. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn’t work, don’t buy it. Created your own, but most people can’t do it.
Life is a series pull back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn’t. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything from granted.
Detachment doesn’t mean you don’t let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully. (P103)
You have to find what’s good and true and beautiful in your life as it is now. (P120)
I don’t want my Tombstone to read: I never owned a network disillusioned appeal. (P124)
2014.06.08~2014.06.17 第一本原版书192页，我现在估计3500词汇能看懂。内容讲＂an old man, an young man, and life's greatest lesson"，年初家里发生大事，改变了我的人生观-人生最重要的是什么？Learn how to die learn how to live,这本书也是讲这个的，算感兴趣的书。有道词典生词本6000多，估计掌握一半，读这本书书，开始每页有5个左右生词，不查词典，不影响阅读，上下文能猜个大概，后来觉得这样一本下来生词还是会不...
2014-06-10 10:13
2014.06.08~2014.06.17
第一本原版书192页，我现在估计3500词汇能看懂。内容讲＂an old man, an young man, and life's greatest lesson"，年初家里发生大事，改变了我的人生观-人生最重要的是什么？Learn how to die learn how to live,这本书也是讲这个的，算感兴趣的书。有道词典生词本6000多，估计掌握一半，读这本书书，开始每页有5个左右生词，不查词典，不影响阅读，上下文能猜个大概，后来觉得这样一本下来生词还是会不认识，10页后就开始查词典，不是每次遇到就查，遇到先红笔划出来，几页读完后再查，发现查的词80%确实不认识，另20%一查后发现已进过生词本，以前见过。由此阅读对记生词帮助很大的，即使像我这样遇到生词就加入生词本，但很少背它，还是无形中记住了不少。加油接下来第二本《Barack Obama the audacity of hope》。
[Tuesdays with Morrie] 我觉得Mitch的这个问题就非常的残酷，对于一个已经不能动的人来说主动提出这样一个问题。Morrie自己主动谈起如果他有机会会怎么怎么样，和被别人问起我觉得性质是非常不同的。我想这是Mitch没从Morrie那里学到的一点吧，为了自己的好奇而去扒开他人的“伤疤”。如果我认识Morrie估计他能做到让我在他面前自愿揭开伤疤，让我好歹能有地方能够哭诉，不过，，我的问题终究还是解决不了
Death ends a life, not a relationship. So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that...
2020-05-24 13:00
Death ends a life, not a relationship.
So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning
You see, you closed your eyes. That was the difference. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too--even when you’re in the dark. Even when you’re falling.
Learn how to live and you'll know how to die; learn how to die, and you'll know how to live.
I like myself better when I'm with you.
Don't let go too soon, but don't hold on too long.
Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted... A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. Most of us live somewhere in the middle. A wrestling match...Which side wins? Love wins. Love always wins
Don't cling to things because everything is impermanent… But detachment doesn't mean you don't let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully. That's how you are able to leave it. If you hold back on the emotions--if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them--you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief. You're afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. "All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.
Well, for one thing, the culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. We're teaching the wrong things. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it. Create your own. Most people can't do it.
There are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage: If you don't respect the other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don't have a common set of values in life, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike.
I give myself a good cry if I need it, but then I concentrate on all good things still in my life. I don't allow myself any more self-pity than that. A little each every morning, a few tears, and that's all.
If you're trying to show off for people at the top, forget it. They will look down on you anyhow. And if you're trying to show off for people at the bottom, forget it. They will only envy you. Status will get you nowhere. Only an open heart will allow you to float equally between everyone.
“We've got a sort of brainwashing going on in our country, Morrie sighed. Do you know how they brainwash people? They repeat something over and over. And that's what we do in this country. Owning things is good. More money is good. More property is good. More commercialism is good. More is good. More is good. We repeat it--and have it repeated to us--over and over until nobody bothers to even think otherwise. The average person is so fogged up by all of this, he has no perspective on what's really important anymore.
Wherever I went in my life, I met people wanting to gobble up something new. Gobble up a new car. Gobble up a new piece of property. Gobble up the latest toy. And then they wanted to tell you about it. 'Guess what I got? Guess what I got?'
Do you know how I interpreted that? These were people so hungry for love that they were accepting substitutes. They were embracing material things and expecting a sort of hug back. But it never works. You can't substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense of comradeship.
Money is not a substitute for tenderness, and power is not a substitute for tenderness. I can tell you, as I'm sitting here dying when you most need it, neither money nor power will give you the feeling you're looking for, no matter how much of them you have.”
The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. Let it come in. We think we don’t deserve love, we think if we let it in we’ll become too soft. But a wise man named Levin said it right. He said, “Love is the only rational act.”
Everyone knows they’re going to die,' he said again, 'but nobody believes it. If we did, we would do things differently.
As you grow, you learn more. If you stayed as ignorant as you were at twenty-two, you'd always be twenty-two. Aging is not just decaying, you know. It's growth. It's more than the negative that you're going to die, it's the positive that you understand you're going to die and that you live a better life because of it.
People are only mean when they're threatened, and that's what our culture does...And when you get threatened, you start looking out only for yourself. You start making money a god. It is all part of this culture.
The truth is, part of me is every age. I’m a three-year-old, I’m a five-year-old, I’m a thirty-seven-year-old, I’m a fifty-year-old. I’ve been through all of them, and I know what it’s like. I delight in being a child when it’s appropriate to be a child. I delight in being a wise old man when it’s appropriate to be a wise old man. Think of all I can be! I am every age, up to my own.
If you’ve found meaning in your life, you don’t want to go back. You want to go forward. You want to see more, do more.
“There's a big confusion in this country over what we want versus what we need," Morrie said. "You need food, you want a chocolate sundae. You have to be honest with yourself. You don't need the latest sports car, you don't need the biggest house. The truth is, you don't get satisfaction from those things. Do you know what really gives you satisfaction?... Offering others what you have to give...I don't mean money, Mitch. I mean your time. Your concern. Your storytelling. It's not so hard.”
There is no experience like having children. That’s all. There is no substitute for it. You cannot do it with a friend. You cannot do it with a lover. If you want the experience of having complete responsibility for another human being, and to learn how to love and bond in the deepest way, then you should have children.
“Now that child reminds me of something our sages taught. When a baby comes into the world, its hands are clenched, right? Like this?" He made a fist. "Why? Because a baby, not knowing any better, wants to grab everything, to say 'The whole world is mine.' "But when an old person dies, how does he do so? With his hands open. Why? Because he has learned the lesson." What lesson? I asked. He stretched open his empty fingers. "We can take nothing with us.”
Have you found someone to share your heart with? Are you giving to your community? Are you at peace with yourself? Are you trying to be as human as you can be?
There is no point in keeping vengeance or stubbornness. These things"—he sighed—"these things I so regret in my life. Pride. Vanity. Why do we do the things we do?"
There is no formula for relationships. They have to be negotiated in loving ways, with room for both parties, what they want and what they need, what they can do and what their life is like.
In business, people negotiate to win. They negotiate to get what they want. Maybe you're too used to that. Love is different. Love is when you are as concerned about someone else's situation as you are about your own.
Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel.And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too---even when you're in the dark.Even when you're falling.引自第61页
"Whenever people ask me about having children or not having children, I never tell them what to do,"Morrie said now, looking at a photo of his oldest son."I simply say,"There is no substitute for it. You cannot do it with a friend. You cannot do it with a lover.If you want the experience of having complete responsibility for another human being, and to learn how to love and bond in the deepest way, then you should have children."引自第93页
"Remember what I said about finding a meaningful life? I wrote it down, but now I can recite it: Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."引自第127页
"It's not just other people we need to forgive,Mitch," He finally whispered. We also need to forgive ourselves."
Ourselves?
"Yes. For all the things we didn't do. All the things we should have done. You can't get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened. That doesn't help you when you get to where I am."
"I always wished I had done more with my work; I wished I had written more books. I used to beat myself over it. Now I see that never did any good. Make peace.You need to make peace with yourself and everyone around you."引自第166页
"Do the kinds of things that come from the heart.When you do, you won't be dissatisfied, you won't be envious, you won't be longing for somebody else's things. On the contrary, you'll be overwhelmed with what comes back.引自第128页
"The truth is, you don't get satisfaction from those things. You know what really gives you satisfaction?" What? "Offering others what you have to give." You sound like a Boy Scout. "I don't mean money, Mitch. I mean your time. Your concern. Your storytelling. It's not so hard. There's a senior center that opened near here. Dozens of elderly people come there every day. If you're a young man or...
2020-03-10 00:13
"The truth is, you don't get satisfaction from those things. You know what really gives you satisfaction?"
What?
"Offering others what you have to give."
You sound like a Boy Scout.
"I don't mean money, Mitch. I mean your time. Your concern. Your storytelling. It's not so hard. There's a senior center that opened near here. Dozens of elderly people come there every day. If you're a young man or young woman and you have a skill, you are asked to come and teach it. Say you know computers. You come there and teach them computers. You are very welcome there.And they are very grateful. This is how you start to get respect, by offering something that you have.
...
"Remember what I said about finding a meaningful life? I wrote it down, but now I can recite it: Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.引自第126页
O'Henry
上海译文出版社2007版
lunatic
上海译文出版社2007版
[已注销]
上海译文出版社1998版
karenjzhang
Felicia
上海译文出版社1998版
DiSuNLiMiTeD
上海译文出版社2007版
十年前，因为李欣频的《十四堂创意人生课》知道了《相约星期二》，也幸运地去了她在深圳中心书城的白金版签售会，拿到了我人生中的第一本有作者签名的书，签售会上她又提到了《相约星期二》，我也记录下来了。十年过去了，却从来没有读过这本书，直到偶然看到豆瓣的推荐，刚好最近都在看英文原版书，所以上周日上午就在淘宝买了一本。奇妙的是，下午女儿翻出来这本书，我看到了自己当初做的笔记，第一行就是《相约星期二》。也...
1 有用 塞芭丝的安 2015-05-04
Mitch特别能煽情，一贯的
0 有用 [已注销] 2010-12-21
At Chapters
2 有用 shansquare 2012-08-31
不荐，不然也35岁后再读吧，全世界人人都有Morrie78岁身患绝症时的生活观太吓人了。更喜欢Randy Pausch。useful quotes http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/1995335-tuesdays-with-morri
1 有用 KFC miamiamia 2012-10-29
读着快哭了
1 有用 小p 2010-12-23
最后章节一边哭一边读。第二次抄的时候正常了。呵呵。这本书的存在充分证明了我有多冲动。。。
0 有用 starryskyanne 2020-05-26
看英文还好，不过感觉如果是中文可能会有点腻。
0 有用 咕噜咕噜 2020-05-25
是我泪点变低了。看到还有同名电影真的不忍心看了。
0 有用 拉玛诞 2020-05-23
应该是...13年读的吧？
0 有用 脆弱的feminist 2020-05-22
每个人都要学习的死亡课程
0 有用 瑪礁蕾去野餐 2020-05-21
少年，干了这杯真·鸡汤吧。 @2016-03-27 21:34:03