Inorder for everyone to have freedom, we must have order. And order bears with itcertain restrictions and obligations.
Well-definedrestrictions give a sense of security and a certainty of function within thesocial structure.
The popular practice of letting children have unrestricted freedom has made tyrant3 of children and slaves of the parents.These children enjoy all the freedom while their parents assume all the responsibilities! This is hardly democracy.
A misbehaving child is a discouraged child.Each child needs continuous encouragement just as a plant needs water.
A baby who is happy only when she is the center of attention is not a truly happy baby. Genuine happiness is notdependent upon the attention of others but arises from within oneself as aresult of self-sufficiency.
No amount of punishment will bring about lasting submission. Today’s children are willing to take any amount of punishment in order to assert their “rights”
We do not have the right to assume the responsibilities of our children, nor do we have the right to take the consequence of theiracts. These belong to them.
We mustrepeatedly remind ourselves, “I have no right to punish a person with status equalto mine, but I do have the obligation to guide and direct my child. I do not have the right to impose my will-butI do have the obligation not to give in to his undue demands.”
Childrencan learn limitations only through firm insistence.
Suchacts of pressure must always be accompanied by giving the child a choice.
If therelationship between parents and child is at all friendly, the child is likely to response.
Only when we have confidence in a child and his ability ，can we show respect for him.
We are constantly correcting, constantly admonishing. Such an approach shows lack of faith in our children; it is humiliating and discouraging. With all this emphasis on the negative, where can we expect the child to find the energy to proceed toward achievement?
When constantly corrected, the child not only gets the feeling that he is always wrong but may become fearful of making a mistake.
Children need to be recognized as good children who misbehave because they are unhappy or have found that is paysoff.
Routine is to a child what walls are to a house; it gives boundaries and dimensions to his life. No child feels comfortable in a situation in which he doesn’t know exactly what to expect.Routine gives a feeling of security. An established routine also provides asense of order from which freedom grow.
Anyone becomes unreasonable when he feels imposed upon. We cannot win co-operation by trying to impose our will upon someone else.
Children don’t like to be caught in the act. Don’t be surprised if the child shows marked innocence, resentment or even redoubled efforts to regainattention. About this time, departure from the area is smart.
The disturbance is the result of a conflict between two people. If one personwithdraws the other cannot continue.
The fact that we even ask,” how many times?” indicates that “telling” has notserved the purpose of instruction. Children learn very quickly. One “telling”usually will indicate to the child that a given action has met disapproval. Fromthis time forward he knows his continued behavior in this direction is out ofline.
If mother really wants to change the behavior of her childen,she will have to act.Words are futile.
It is sheer nonsense to assumethat the child will be able to meet frustrations when he is older. What magicin growing older could provide a skill that should be developed in early life?
Children need to learn how to manage frustrations. Adult life is fullof them.
We must learn to be concerned with the demands of the situation and to beunconcerned with “what people think.” Here Mother must make a choice betweenher vanity, which is hurt, and her obligation as mother.
We need not be arbitrary inrefusing to give a child what he wants. But whenever the child’s desire orrequest is contrary to order tor to the demands of situation, then we must havethe courage to stick to the “no” that expresses our own best judgment.
Mother moves back, away from thebaby, and holds out her hands- just beyond his reach.
Pain is part of life. There is no way to escape its existence.
Mother could have prevented this bitter disappointment from the beginning has she not expected it.
If we want to teach children how to choose wisely, we must give them opportunitiesto choose and, if necessary, to make mistakes.
They learn through experience,no from our experience.
It is common knowledge that members of a peer group have a code which abhors “squealing.”
If we speak to our children as friends on equal footing with us, we keep the doors of communication open.
Our best refuge is to have confidence in our children and so take it easy untilsuch time as our talents for coping with disaster are really called upon.
But their scorn criticism ,and punishment do not teach him not to lie or steal; on the contrary,they provide him with further ammunition and increased desire to do wrong for the sake of power and defeating his parents.
The more fuss we make over “bad”habits, the worse they get.Downrade "bad" habits.
This is a family problem and must be solved by the family
Each family can work out the details of the family council to suit its ownneeds; but the basis principles remain the same. Each member has the right tobring up a problem. Each one has the right to be heard. Together, all seek fora solution to the problem, and the majority opinion is upheld.